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Clips from Nathan for You - Sporting Goods Store/Antique Store (S03E03)

"Now I'm using my knowledge"
Nathan for You
"to help struggling small business owners make it"
Nathan for You
"the high cost of advertising has been holding him back."
Nathan for You
"- Thanks for having me."
Nathan for You
"- No problem."
Nathan for You
"- Um, how's business going?"
Nathan for You
"for the investment to pay off big-time."
Nathan for You
"- The only thing is, if you do this,"
Nathan for You
"- Mm-hmm. - So I guess I should ask,"
Nathan for You
"Is your health okay and everything?"
Nathan for You
"- You know, I just wouldn't want to do all this work if it's--"
Nathan for You
"- Well, you never know."
Nathan for You
"Some of these kids suck, huh?"
Nathan for You
"- What's that? - Some of these kids suck."
Nathan for You
"And after each game, I would wait in the parking lot"
Nathan for You
"so I asked permission to take all his physical measurements"
Nathan for You
"on as many of the top kids as I could,"
Nathan for You
"and even though some parents had doubts"
Nathan for You
"about their kids' potential..."
Nathan for You
"But before making offers, I wanted to figure out"
Nathan for You
"an age progression specialist I found on Craigslist,"
Nathan for You
"who said he could accurately predict"
Nathan for You
"- Cornelius seemed perfect for the job,"
Nathan for You
"and later that week, I returned to see the results."
Nathan for You
"- Yes."
Nathan for You
"and I age-progressed him to around 22,"
Nathan for You
"His hair is completely gone because of a choice,"
Nathan for You
"It's a "in" thing."
Nathan for You
"- 90% chance?"
Nathan for You
"- Next one? - Yeah."
Nathan for You
"and I tried to show that in the picture"
Nathan for You
"- You're pretty sure this is how he'll look?"
Nathan for You
"Why is she playing with her hair like that?"
Nathan for You
"- Right, you have to have a vision"
Nathan for You
"Ultimately, what you end up with is science and vision."
Nathan for You
"- So this is a combination of both?"
Nathan for You
"- No. - This, yeah."
Nathan for You
"or the funny news is that I could take a girl or boy"
Nathan for You
"and make it into a girl."
Nathan for You
"- Okay. Um--"
Nathan for You
"of my top picks to negotiate an endorsement deal"
Nathan for You
"because we are buying while he still, you know, sucks."
Nathan for You
"- I mean, no one else is offering you deals, right?"
Nathan for You
"- The majority of parents agreed to sign our contract,"
Nathan for You
"but I was most excited about landing a deal"
Nathan for You
"His skills on the field"
Nathan for You
"so once I finished up with his dad,"
Nathan for You
"- But as we were chatting about his future,"
Nathan for You
"- I mean, Sasha, you know, you can do what you want,"
Nathan for You
"for who I said was a real astronaut"
Nathan for You
"who I knew had a special skill"
Nathan for You
"- Okay."
Nathan for You
"So I brought in James to help Sasha"
Nathan for You
"learn a bit more about life in space."
Nathan for You
"or gone insane from the unimaginable loneliness"
Nathan for You
"My wife and my kids, they died in space."
Nathan for You
"It was an accident."
Nathan for You
"- Yeah, I smuggled 'em on against the rules."
Nathan for You
"- Oh."
Nathan for You
"of the dangers of space travel."
Nathan for You
"- Really? That's like a brown person."
Nathan for You
"- Yeah, it's too late for me now."
Nathan for You
"- Yes, sure, two years from now."
Nathan for You
"- After James was done talking to Sasha,"
Nathan for You
"- Yeah, it was amazing."
Nathan for You
"- You got to talk to a real astronaut."
Nathan for You
"a alien tried to-- to pull him into the sun."
Nathan for You
"- Well, if that's your choice, then that's your choice."
Nathan for You
"- I did it, and with Sasha back on track,"
Nathan for You
"I could finally return to Niky's"
Nathan for You
"but all you really need is one to go pro"
Nathan for You
"so I think your odds are pretty good."
Nathan for You
"- Oh. - Yes."
Nathan for You
"- One thing I like to do"
Nathan for You
"if it was actually successful."
Nathan for You
"Okay."
Nathan for You
"Thanks so much and take care."
Nathan for You
"♪"
Nathan for You
"for over five years, but lately,"
Nathan for You
"- It does get hard when it's really slow."
Nathan for You
"so I paid her a visit with a way to help."
Nathan for You
"- Yeah."
Nathan for You
"- Is that something you like?"
Nathan for You
"meaning that if an item breaks, it's as good as a sale,"
Nathan for You
"if you get the right drunk in here..."
Nathan for You
"- Yeah. - You could make"
Nathan for You
"So that evening, once the sun went down,"
Nathan for You
"- Why? Why is it your favorite movie?"
Nathan for You
"- What's yours?"
Nathan for You
"at getting a big sale for Emily,"
Nathan for You
"so prior to my arrival, I had a vacuum-powered device"
Nathan for You
"Then a second motor would deliver apple juice"
Nathan for You
"- Cheers."
Nathan for You
"- Over the course of the next hour,"
Nathan for You
"So you get drunk often."
Nathan for You
"- Oh, yeah."
Nathan for You
"- And I felt that we were finally ready to head out."
Nathan for You
"I explained to him that the cameras were there"
Nathan for You
"There's this costume party in the area that--"
Nathan for You
"against any antiques he might shatter"
Nathan for You
"- Cool--oh. - Oh, shit."
Nathan for You
"- Ow, [bleep]!"
Nathan for You
"And with that, we headed out to my made-up party."
Nathan for You
"- Watch your back."
Nathan for You
"all Emily had to do was catalogue the broken items..."
Nathan for You
"- Right."
Nathan for You
"[laughs] - Boo."
Nathan for You
"- So with that, Emily got to make a sizable sale."
Nathan for You
"Well, lesson learned, huh?"
Nathan for You
"If you look at it this way, it looks like it's brand-new."
Nathan for You
"- Right."
Nathan for You
"and since he made such a big purchase,"
Nathan for You
"- As we drove to JJ's apartment,"
Nathan for You
"- Tag team a girl, yeah."
Nathan for You
"- Yeah. - Yeah, what's that?"
Nathan for You
"about the threesomes he has with his brother,"
Nathan for You
"but when I dropped him off,"
Nathan for You
"- Mm-hmm. - Yeah."
Nathan for You
"- Right, it's just something we've done."
Nathan for You
"I mean, all my homeboys from back in Ohio, they do it."
Nathan for You
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