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Clips from BoJack Horseman - BoJack Horseman: The BoJack Horseman Story, Chapter One (S01E01)

"Horsin' Around is filmed before a live studio audience."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, hey."
BoJack Horseman
"[laughs]"
BoJack Horseman
"was initially dismissed by critics"
BoJack Horseman
"but the family comedy struck a chord with America"
BoJack Horseman
"The star of Horsin' Around, BoJack Horseman,"
BoJack Horseman
"is our guest tonight."
BoJack Horseman
"I parked in a handicapped spot."
BoJack Horseman
"Maybe you should move the car."
BoJack Horseman
"You're telling me that you're drunk right now?"
BoJack Horseman
"Yes."
BoJack Horseman
"I know that it's very hip these days"
BoJack Horseman
"to shit all over Horsin' Around,"
BoJack Horseman
"but look, for a lot of people,"
BoJack Horseman
"you just want to watch a show about good, likable people"
BoJack Horseman
"at the end of 30 minutes,"
BoJack Horseman
"Did I already say the thing about the urethra?"
BoJack Horseman
"I, uh..."
BoJack Horseman
"[ saxophone plays ]"
BoJack Horseman
"[crowd] Maury! Maury! Maury! Maury!"
BoJack Horseman
"Morning, sunshine."
BoJack Horseman
"Why so gloomy, roomie?"
BoJack Horseman
"[blender whirring]"
BoJack Horseman
"You secretly have a good heart."
BoJack Horseman
"I didn't realize by alternative lifestyle"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"I would have invited you to my office,"
BoJack Horseman
"Just an issue with the bank"
BoJack Horseman
"but I am making great progress."
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack Horseman: The BoJack Horseman Story,"
BoJack Horseman
"Chapter one."
BoJack Horseman
"Chapter..."
BoJack Horseman
"One."
BoJack Horseman
"reading one in the park the other day,"
BoJack Horseman
"Whenever you're ready."
BoJack Horseman
"We're kind of counting on your autobiography"
BoJack Horseman
"That's actually a lot of pressure."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm from Cincinnati."
BoJack Horseman
"[cell phone vibrates] [upbeat tune plays]"
BoJack Horseman
"You're wearing that to the prom?"
BoJack Horseman
"I improvised that line."
BoJack Horseman
"I mean, it was written,"
BoJack Horseman
"but I gave it the old BoJack spin."
BoJack Horseman
"but it's also a thing that horses say."
BoJack Horseman
"It works on every level."
BoJack Horseman
"♪ And now we've got A new family ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ We were lost And now we're found ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"♪ And we're ♪"
BoJack Horseman
"It takes a lot of beer to get me drunk."
BoJack Horseman
"You're just bummed out because Princess Carolyn"
BoJack Horseman
"dumped you last night."
BoJack Horseman
"Slow and steady, am I right, ladies?"
BoJack Horseman
"[girls giggle]"
BoJack Horseman
"[moaning]"
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack, I'm almost there."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm kidding, jeez. It was Emily Mortimer."
BoJack Horseman
"Are you embarrassed of me because I'm a has-been?"
BoJack Horseman
"that is gonna make everybody love me again."
BoJack Horseman
"I mean, you don't even respect me enough"
BoJack Horseman
"I never explicitly said that."
BoJack Horseman
"You said it with your actions."
BoJack Horseman
"[car door opens and closes] [engine turns over]"
BoJack Horseman
"[tires screeching]"
BoJack Horseman
"[loud crash] [sirens blaring]"
BoJack Horseman
"[cop] Step away from the stolen vehicle, sir!"
BoJack Horseman
"I was running away from my girlfriend"
BoJack Horseman
"whom I don't respect enough to have a baby with."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, face it. You're afraid of commitment."
BoJack Horseman
"I'm not afraid of commitment."
BoJack Horseman
"It's the following through on that commitment"
BoJack Horseman
"God, I hope he doesn't see us."
BoJack Horseman
"and BoJack Horseman in the same room."
BoJack Horseman
"You know, that gets funnier every time."
BoJack Horseman
"You're being sarcastic,"
BoJack Horseman
"So would it be awkward if I joined you right now?"
BoJack Horseman
"Yeah, this is awkward right now?"
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, living the dream, P.C., living the dream."
BoJack Horseman
"But am I crazy that this is a bad time?"
BoJack Horseman
"What?"
BoJack Horseman
"You'll get that one later, man."
BoJack Horseman
"Waiter, could we please have the check?"
BoJack Horseman
"I have wasted so many dinners on you, BoJack Horseman."
BoJack Horseman
"$10 for bread?"
BoJack Horseman
"What did I have? I must have had..."
BoJack Horseman
"Great, now I'm gonna feel like a fat ass all week."
BoJack Horseman
"So yeah, technically I was dumped,"
BoJack Horseman
"What kind of headline is that?"
BoJack Horseman
"God damn it! Stop the presses."
BoJack Horseman
"I'll stand in the corner by myself"
BoJack Horseman
"That was a good party."
BoJack Horseman
"You never took me home, jerk!"
BoJack Horseman
"Take me home."
BoJack Horseman
"Okay, jeez."
BoJack Horseman
"But I'm not looking for parking in Silver Lake."
BoJack Horseman
"BoJack."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, my God, we just broke up."
BoJack Horseman
"Then, as my agent, do you think I'm getting fat?"
BoJack Horseman
"and then crapped out a third pile of crap."
BoJack Horseman
"Well, Penguin wants an update on your progress."
BoJack Horseman
"So, Tuesday, though?"
BoJack Horseman
"Yes, fine!"
BoJack Horseman
"Whoo!"
BoJack Horseman
"called the Swamp Monsters of Malibu?"
BoJack Horseman
"I live a very active lifestyle."
BoJack Horseman
"I know kindergarten is scary,"
BoJack Horseman
"Todd!"
BoJack Horseman
"We're hiring you a ghostwriter."
BoJack Horseman
"He's kind of my personal hero."
BoJack Horseman
"and people got tired of seeing running on-screen."
BoJack Horseman
"Call her. That's a loan, by the way."
BoJack Horseman
"from the Swamp Monsters swag box."
BoJack Horseman
"Oh, God, I'm a failure."
BoJack Horseman
"She went back to Mexico City, ese,"
BoJack Horseman
"You know what my problem is?"
BoJack Horseman
"You want everyone to like you?"
BoJack Horseman
"Uh..."
BoJack Horseman
"What were we talking about?"
BoJack Horseman
"on airplane mode when I drink."
BoJack Horseman
"This lady probably thinks I'm just some dumb sitcom actor."
BoJack Horseman
"Give her a chance."
BoJack Horseman
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