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Clips from Sanford and Son (1972) - Coffins for Sale (S01E01)

"- What's that? - What's what?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"On a Frenchman it would look like a beret."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"and I ran across one of the souvenirs from France, World War I."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"World War I, huh?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, I must've meant World War II."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And what did they call you, Tired Blood and No Guts?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about World War II."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"D-Day. Vive la France."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"and that beret, you bought at the Goodwill store."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Sure. That's always your answer. - Just don't call me no liar."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Don't give me that nonsense about D-Day and vive la France and all of that."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Come on out here and help me unload this truck, you old faker."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Faker? - That's right."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I don't understand you kids today."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I think I'm having a heart attack."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Now, listen. Listen."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm telling you, we can make a hundred percent profit on these things."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Coffins are like bathtubs. They never go out of style."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"What?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- And they ain't going in the house. - Yes, they are."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's a bad sign, havin' coffins in the house."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Don't open an umbrella in the house. Don't put your shoes on the table."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And what's that other one you told me that time? Oh, yeah."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Happened to my Cousin Richard. Cat yowled and yowled..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"He was dead drunk."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Would you get in there? - I ain't going in first."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Okay, you're right."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's how superstitions get started."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Ain't no nonsense. It's a bad sign."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Don't sit down on that. That's a bad sign. Something awful will happen."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Listen. You'd make a real fine undertaker."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You'd do real good. I can see it now."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You stop talkin' like that. You watch and see."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"What are we gonna do in the meantime, stretch out in 'em and watch TV?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Hush."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"If we only sell one of'em, we can cut the other one in half..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"and we can make matching end tables."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You don't sound like no son of mine. You sound like the son of Frankenstein."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You see? There's a customer already."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, there goes our matching end tables."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's a little joke in my profession."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Besides, they are rather plain, aren't they?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, gentlemen, I won't take up any more of your time. Good day."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I heard that one at the morticians' convention."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Thirty dollars? Are you kidding? That's only five dollars profit."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Sell these two."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- How you doing? - Hello, Fred."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Good-bye, Fred. Good-bye, Lamont."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Come on back in the house and watch some TV."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Yeah, we gonna stay out here and talk."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Yeah. Well, you better get home."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"The undertaker didn't buy 'em. Now you ain't gonna ever get rid of'em."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Don't worry. They'll be gone by tomorrow."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Lf they stayin' here, then I'm leavin'. - What?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You'd rather leave than stay in the house with these things?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Where are you gonna sleep? - I'll sleep out on the truck."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- On the truck? - Uh-huh."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You mean you're actually gonna sleep out there on the truck?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Yep. - That makes no sense."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"But what about your arthritis? That's bad for your arthritis."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"The trenches?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's right. They had trenches at Fort Dix."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Pop, that doesn't make any sense. These things can't hurt you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- in case you change your mind. - You can close it."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I ain't gonna change my mind. Good night, Jackie."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- I know. - Okay."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"This is ridiculous."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Go in there and put a fuse in."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"The fuse."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'll just go get one in the fuse box and I'll have it changed in a minute."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Say, Pop. - What is it?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I was layin' here dreaming about Lena Horne."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You mean you're really not coming back in?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"This is ridiculous. You're ridiculous."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And I'm ridiculous for being out here with you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Say, Pop?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"What is wrong with you?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Are you gonna get rid of'em tonight? - No, the first thing tomorrow morning."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"'cause if you're scared, you're scared."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Thank you. And here is your check for $25."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I understand."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I must be getting back to my place now."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Like everybody else, I'm a working stiff."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, I hope you're satisfied."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"and the clock is striking 12."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Pop, you should've seen what I was coming across..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- That thing on your head. - What's it look like?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"On you it looks like a chocolate upside-down cake."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Help me move this table. I got some big stuff to bring in."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Move it? I just put this stuff down here. I'm doing inventory."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"This is coordinatin' day."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"When I coordinate, I don't want nobody to fool around."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I was looking through some old things upstairs..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's right."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"World War I, AEF, Fightin' 15th..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"General Blackjack Pershing."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"See, he was white, but they called him Blackjack..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I think because of the kind of gum he chewed."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"World War I was in 1917."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You was 11 years old. What did they give you to fight with, a BB gun?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Did I say World War I? - That's right."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- World War II, France. - France. Yeah."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Third Army, General Patton, Old Blood and Guts."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I got the scar right here to prove it, and the Purple Heart."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Pop, you know you never left Fort Dix, New Jersey..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"and that scar, you got from an appendix operation the army gave you..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"How would you like one across your lip?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, I was in the army. I could've been in the air force."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"They were lookin' for a tail gunner and I turned that down."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Why? - I won't sit in the back of no plane."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Would you stop."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- You wasn't in no army. - You talk that old stuff."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You just don't know. You don't know where I've been."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"If I'd talk to my father like you talk to me, you know what he'd have done?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Yeah, he'd have given you one across the lip."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"When he whipped, he whipped from the lips to the hips."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And that's the answer?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Pop, the kids today don't wanna hear nonsense."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"They want the truth. The truth shall set you free."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Truth would set him free, and he told the truth..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
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