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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows - The Chamber of Judgement (S03E03)

"[PHONE RINGING]"
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"OPERATOR: [OVER PHONE] 9-1-1. What's your emergency?"
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"GIRL: My dad can't breathe."
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"WOMAN: My husband, his eyes are going back..."
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"WOMAN 2: My son... Oh, my God."
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"[INDISTINCT CHATTER]"
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"[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]"
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"NANDOR: I'm pretty certain"
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"it might be this way."
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"This is it. The big night."
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"Our first Vampiric Council tribunal."
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"Let the Ceremony of Judgment commence!"
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"Where we once stood as prisoners sentenced to death,"
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"we will now be sitting as judge and jury."
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"- You're gonna die, and you're gonna.... -[Guillermo chuckles]"
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"-[Nadja screams] -[screams] Fuck!"
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"Never sneak up on a vampire like that, Guillermo."
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"- NADJA: How did you even get down here? - What do you mean?"
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"I've been down here for 20 minutes,"
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"- waiting for you guys. - Oh."
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"Well, is it this way, or is it that way?"
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"- GUILLERMO: I think it's... - GUIDE: It's back this way. -[Nadja screams]"
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"NANDOR: [screams] Fucking Guide."
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"I've been standing behind you for half an hour."
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"- What? - Silently watching you."
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"Breathing in your scent."
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"Smelling your musk."
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"So... is it this way or...?"
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"Oh, no, no. It's back this way."
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"- Oh, good. - Yes, you missed it. Come along, everyone."
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"["You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing]"
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"♪ Don't sing if you want to live long♪"
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"♪ They have no use for your song♪"
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"♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead♪"
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"♪ You're dead and out of this world♪"
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"♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone♪"
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"♪ You sold out your dream to the world♪"
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"♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead♪"
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"♪ You're dead and out of this world.♪"
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"♪"
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"Our neighbor Sean has kindly invited us to his"
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"for what he described as a "boys-only night.""
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"Now, I gleefully assumed"
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"that that would be some kind of circle jerk."
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"- Oh, I don't think that's what he meant. - No, it isn't."
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"Anyway, I've invited Colin Robinson..."
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"[imitating Jar Jar Binks]: Ah, mui, mui mesa love you."
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"LASZLO: Is that a friend of yours?"
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"Mesa Jar Jar Binks."
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"LASZLO: Ooh. That's a nice voice."
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"COLIN: You don't find this voice annoying?"
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"I think it's very funny, indeed, Colin."
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"SEAN: My Uncle Fulvio"
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"did all the repaneling in here, so it's looking real nice. Oh!"
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"- Frankie, Mikey! - MIKEY: Hey!"
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"You remember my old buddy Laz and, uh, his friend"
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"- Robinson Caruso. - Yo! - Hey."
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"- COLIN: What you dudes watching? - SEAN: Ah,"
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"local community college hockey, you know."
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"The purest form of sport is"
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"community college because you get 'em"
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"- right after high school, and, uh... - Come on, move. Move."
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"- Before they really... - SEAN: Robbie Robertson."
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"You make a better door than a window, okay?"
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"-[laughs]: I have heard that. - MIKEY: Shut up."
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"- They want you to get out of the way, Colin Robinson. - Oh. Okay."
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"- SEAN: Just have a seat. Just have a seat. - LASZLO: I brought these"
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"especially for the occasion."
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"- Oh! -[chuckles]"
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"- MIKEY: Look at that. - Don't ask me where I got them from."
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"-[Sean grunts] - COLIN: I, too,"
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"- have a little gift. - Oh."
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"You guys are into the whole Agatha Christie thing,"
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"right? Murder mystery games?"
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""Mrs. Honeychurch and the Hanging"
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"- at 'Vykrage Valet.'" -"Hanging at... Vicarage Valley.""
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"Yeah. It'll take a while to play,"
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"but I think if we start now, we should be done by dawn."
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"Fuck."
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"-[door opens] - NADJA: Hmm?"
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"-[Nadja chuckling] - NANDOR: Eh..."
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"Yes."
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"Okay, okay, don't make a big deal out of it. Okay, do."
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"- Do make a big deal of it. Come on. - Yes."
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"I feel like this is my wedding day."
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"But I shouldn't be wearing white. [chuckles]"
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"So... ♪ Let the Ceremony of Judgment commence.♪"
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"NANDOR: Very good."
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"- Very good. - All right. Well, I will be the one who says that."
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"But before we continue,"
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"there is just one more thing we have to check off our list."
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"- Come on in. - NANDOR: Ooh. - NADJA: Oh."
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"This is a conduct/harassment training video"
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"that our human resources department put together"
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"as mandatory viewing for all employees."
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"- Okay? - Okay, fine. - Okay, let's get it over with."
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"All right."
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"♪"
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"- So, that's it, then? - GUIDE: Yes."
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"So, that just means anything and everything goes here."
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"He smacks me on the ass, you finger me,"
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"I stroke him off, et cetera, et cetera."
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"GUILLERMO: Mm-mm."
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"We have found it to be good for team building."
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"So anything and everything goes?"
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"Yes. We have sort of fallen into doing it all"
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"- on a Thursday night to get it out of the way. - NADJA: Oh."
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"Otherwise, it can be very exhausting."
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"Now, I know you both agreed to be coleaders,"
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"but the fact remains: only one of you"
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"can sit on the throne. Who will it be?"
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"- Uh, me, thank you. - Fine, I'll do it. -[whispering]: No."
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"Let her have the throne. Power is won"
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"- by those who seem to least desire it. - NANDOR: But the throne"
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"- is a big deal, and I want to sit on it. - And you will."
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"- NANDOR: Stop touching me. - What are you two whispering about?"
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"Guys? It's a one-person throne, okay?"
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"What is so hard about this?"
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"GUILLERMO: I mean, who wields the ultimate power?"
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"The one who sits on the throne?"
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