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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Hearts Before Parts (S01E01)

"gets this one of my son's soccer trophies."
Mr. Mayor
"."
Mr. Mayor
"[imitates air horn blaring]"
Mr. Mayor
"- Okay. Have fun tonight, sweetheart."
Mr. Mayor
"Which three presidents died on July 4th?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Jefferson, Adams, and Monroe!"
Mr. Mayor
"Don't stay up too late. Don't do drugs."
Mr. Mayor
"- Correct! - What?"
Mr. Mayor
"And remember, Slenderman's not real."
Mr. Mayor
"You guys didn't grow up with that placemat"
Mr. Mayor
"When you thought you saw him in the woods,"
Mr. Mayor
"that was just Jeff Goldblum going for a walk."
Mr. Mayor
"of the U.S. presidents and how they died?"
Mr. Mayor
"- I'll text you in the morning. - Yeah."
Mr. Mayor
"- Question two: how long did the Vietnam War last?"
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait."
Mr. Mayor
"- That's a loaded question, Jax."
Mr. Mayor
"Is this a co-ed sleepover?"
Mr. Mayor
"Conflicts in the region predate--"
Mr. Mayor
"- I told you Sage and Latisse were coming."
Mr. Mayor
"- 19 years! - Correct!"
Mr. Mayor
"- Since when are those boy names?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, that's a narrow view."
Mr. Mayor
"When I was growing up, Neil was as crazy as it got."
Mr. Mayor
"- Every boyfriend I've ever had wanted to be the first guy"
Mr. Mayor
"We used to have to spell it on the phone all the time."
Mr. Mayor
"to show me "Apocalypse Now.""
Mr. Mayor
"[laughs] - Yeah!"
Mr. Mayor
"Hey, kid, come here! - Oh, my God!"
Mr. Mayor
"Are you gonna be weird about this?"
Mr. Mayor
"It's a Model U.N. sleepover."
Mr. Mayor
"- These two robins--"
Mr. Mayor
"- Kermit's nephew and Dick Grayson!"
Mr. Mayor
"- It's just--it's your first co-ed sleepover."
Mr. Mayor
"I feel like we should have had a conversation about it."
Mr. Mayor
"- [laughs] That is correct!"
Mr. Mayor
"This man's got his learning on tonight, folks."
Mr. Mayor
"- We've had so many conversations!"
Mr. Mayor
"- I liked "The Muppets.""
Mr. Mayor
"- You know, Orly, you also have eggs."
Mr. Mayor
"- Morning. - How's tricks, Kwapis?"
Mr. Mayor
"But boys have magical worms."
Mr. Mayor
"- Tricks are bad, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"Also known as tumescence, it slowly starts--"
Mr. Mayor
"There's a picture of you trending on the Internet."
Mr. Mayor
"See how those dogs are stuck?"
Mr. Mayor
"I take pride in my talks."
Mr. Mayor
"- What? Who took that?"
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, must've been the driver from the car service I got her."
Mr. Mayor
"- Sure, okay, I'm just saying that just because"
Mr. Mayor
"That used to be a noble profession, Jayden."
Mr. Mayor
"there's gonna be boys in the same house,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Obviously, I wanna hear all the dirty deets."
Mr. Mayor
"doesn't mean we're gonna do anything from that"
Mr. Mayor
"How French were the kisses? Did you see her tummy?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Mmm."
Mr. Mayor
"Israeli coloring book that you got me."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, these are your decisions to make."
Mr. Mayor
"- Oops, somebody saw some tum! [both laugh]"
Mr. Mayor
"But when you do make them,"
Mr. Mayor
"But Mayor-wise, this isn't great."
Mr. Mayor
"- It's gross! The whole tableau is gross!"
Mr. Mayor
"I want it to be with someone special,"
Mr. Mayor
"- Look, guys,"
Mr. Mayor
"like it was with me and your mom."
Mr. Mayor
"Hearts before parts, I always say."
Mr. Mayor
"Nicole is a very nice age-appropriate lady."
Mr. Mayor
"- She's young enough to be your daughter."
Mr. Mayor
"Nope, I just made that up, but I stand by it."
Mr. Mayor
"- Hearts, parts. I got it."
Mr. Mayor
"- Hearts, parts."
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm rich, and it's L.A."
Mr. Mayor
"And besides, we've known each other for years."
Mr. Mayor
"[light music]"
Mr. Mayor
"We actually met--"
Mr. Mayor
"Hey, kid. - Huh?"
Mr. Mayor
"I used to do this thing where I'd walk"
Mr. Mayor
"- I see you."
Mr. Mayor
"[bright music]"
Mr. Mayor
"into a Pilates studio and I'd say,"
Mr. Mayor
""Sorry, I thought this was the Bentley dealership.""
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"- Slick!"
Mr. Mayor
"- It seems like we're gonna be here late."
Mr. Mayor
"- And I meet her in secret"
Mr. Mayor
"because I don't want Orly to think that I'm--"
Mr. Mayor
"Should we get dinner?"
Mr. Mayor
"I don't know, betraying her mom's memory."
Mr. Mayor
"- No, we gotta keep our momentum."
Mr. Mayor
"- Well, you're safe."
Mr. Mayor
"This budget's due Thursday."
Mr. Mayor
"If you're peckish, I've got a couple of hard-boiled eggs,"
Mr. Mayor
"I'm sure Orly never looks at the Internet."
Mr. Mayor
"and one of those Tom's savory toothpastes."
Mr. Mayor
"[cell phone buzzes]"
Mr. Mayor
"- [sighs] "Wow, Dad."
Mr. Mayor
"- Or, we could duck out for din-din tonight?"
Mr. Mayor
"Nice photo, hypocrite.""
Mr. Mayor
"I hear it's dollar chicken night at Porgy's."
Mr. Mayor
"- Who's it from?"
Mr. Mayor
"- That's too cheap, Jayden. - We're not doing that."
Mr. Mayor
"- I don't feel good about"
Mr. Mayor
"- I'm just saying, you know?"
Mr. Mayor
"our trivia performance last night, Mr. Tomás."
Mr. Mayor
"Sometimes it's actually faster to go out."
Mr. Mayor
"- It was a fluke, a classic "Slumdog Millionaire.""
Mr. Mayor
"Jayden only knew who Toscanini was because of a picture"
Mr. Mayor
"And the food's hotter."
Mr. Mayor
"on the wall at Buca di Beppo."
Mr. Mayor
"And I get free dessert wings, 'cause it's my birthday."
Mr. Mayor
"- Wait, this is what you're doing for your birthday?"
Mr. Mayor
"- Hey guys, I was thinking, let's split up the budget."
Mr. Mayor
"Just do it by seniority."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, but it's okay. You know, I love my job."
Mr. Mayor
"Everyone takes a section to proof."
Mr. Mayor
"I don't need to go out. I can turn 40 right here."
Mr. Mayor
"I don't wanna keep doing late nights."
Mr. Mayor
"Now, roll me a birthday egg."
Mr. Mayor
"- Yeah, sure, sounds good. - Great idea."
Mr. Mayor
"[cheerful music]"
Mr. Mayor
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