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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - A Disturbance in the Kitchen (S09E09)

"( theme music playing )"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- What the hell? - I know."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"I confirmed it, by the way."
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"- Really? - Yeah. Yeah."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Jeez. - So, this is really hard to look at."
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"Yeah, well, how do you think I feel?"
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"- You think I enjoy it? - Okay."
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"God damn it."
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"Hi, I'm the manager."
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"Well, let's just say it was a minor hiccup."
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"It's such a small disturbance,"
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"it might be either one."
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"How come you won't tell me what the disturbance was?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- and I'm on top of it. - Well, thank you."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"I'm gonna take that as a compliment."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Is there any question that you will answer?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- What color is it? - I believe the tie is self-evident."
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"( scoffs )"
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"What the hell was that?"
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"- What's the big secret? - I don't know."
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"Oh, yes, I'm sorry about that, sir."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"If it was, then my food would not have been delayed by 15 minutes."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- A slight delay in your food. - It was more than a slight delay."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"All right, so you're having a wonderful afternoon with the wife and kids,"
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"you go out to the post office to get the mail."
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"You come back, you hear a big crash, you open the door,"
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"You say to your wife, "What happened?""
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"She goes, "No, I don't wanna tell you." How would you feel?"
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"You'd want to know what the disturbance was, just like me!"
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"- ( stuttering ) - You're acting like a child."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Yes. - You got a little secret."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- No, no, I'm the parent. - Oh!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"...preparing the food, and then giving it to you--"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Please leave, sir. - With pleasure."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"All right, fine."
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"Yeah, Susie's little sister didn't come home last night."
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"- Little sister? - You know, she's part of that"
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"- Can I help you with anything? - No, we're good."
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"Well, yeah, I'm taking care of it."
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"We're too disturbed to eat right now."
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"I've called everybody. What can I do?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- ( laughs ) - He was at the hotel."
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"- Could you get me some sparkling water, please? - Yes."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Could've called me L. You didn't call me L."
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"- As a term of endearment? - Yeah."
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"Like, "Let's spoon, Elvid"?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"You know what? Enough with this bullshit, all right?"
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"It's wonderful. Okay, I've seen plenty."
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"- What, do you want me to watch the whole dance recital? - Yes, I do, all right?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- We're gonna form a search party and find her. - A search party?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"( music playing )"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Come on."
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"( sighs )"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- What? - I don't appreciate that beep, sir."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"the aggressiveness of the beep."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Oh, yeah, well, you know what?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"to the subtleties of the horn yet."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"My rights to beep."
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"- That's one of my rights. - Yeah, but you don't--"
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"Yeah? Well, I'm allowed to write this ticket."
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"- ( sighs ) - Good. Write it."
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"I'm not getting smart. I am smart, by the way."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- I'm smart. - Yeah."
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"And of course I'll be protesting this ticket."
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"You made my day. No one's above the beep."
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"No one!"
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"( cards shuffling )"
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"Mm-hmm."
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"They are really showing their true colors."
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"( muttering ) Yeah. No, he wasn't making a fucking disturbance, was he?"
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"We're playing cards."
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"- I just fucking told you, don't talk under your breath. - ( phone chiming )"
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"Okay, well, this is the coup de grâce."
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"( sighs ) Oh, man, I can't live like this anymore."
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"I just can't."
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"We've been expecting you. Please come in."
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"Okay."
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"This way."
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"Oh, well, I'm sure you, uh-- you've heard about--"
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"And to tell you the truth, I'm at my wit's end."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"who like that."
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"- Really? - Yeah."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Be a man, stop this, and fatwa sex will follow."
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"- Fatwa sex? - The best sex there is."
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"Mm, yeah, the "fuck it" philosophy."
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"No, no, you're-- look, you're being pathetic."
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"The fatwa sex is beginning to circle around you,"
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"- That's my boy. - ( exhales )"
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"Of course, Mr. Rushdie. Hello, Mr. David."
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"- Look. - Oh. It's him."
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"Yeah, I'm in a restaurant having-- having lunch."
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"- Yes. - So, I mean, I'm interested."
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"Oh, well, of course, now, because of this whole fatwa thing,"
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"you don't want to go to."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Hmm. - So, like, your cousin"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"and you say, "Sorry, can't make it."
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"Somebody calls you, says, "Can you come pick me up at the airport?""
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"This is a fatwa "Life of Riley.""
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"Pretty, pretty good."
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"Compliments of the lady."
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"Salman, this is-- this is unbelievable."
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"So don't talk to me. What are you talking to me for?"
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"Cheers. May I join you?"
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"that it might be-- it might be a bit dangerous."
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"Look, I'm not gonna walk around with a mustache and a wig."
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"and we're going to get your meal right away."
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"He hasn't-- you didn't tell her about the disturbance,"
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"- just like last time. - Manager: I believe I did."
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"You didn't tick a box. The boxes are empty."
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"I beg to differ."
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"Let's get on to that delicious lunch."
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"At the end of the conversation,"
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"he got up, he ripped off my wig,"
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"- Yes. - I like the other look better."
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"- I know. I went over to her table. - Oh, bullshit."
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"What the hell are you doing here, anyway?"
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"Yeah, would you mind looking for them?"
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"You could do both. It's like Jeff's Cubs hat."
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"I'm sure if you ran across Jeff's Cubs hat,"
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"I care about this kid, my little sister."
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