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Clips from Modern Family - Benched (S01E01)

"- You're making it lame again. - Sorry."
Modern Family
"- Ay, Dios mîo, that coach. - Oh, I hate that guy."
Modern Family
"With me bringing home the bacon, Mitchell doesn't have to rush into anything."
Modern Family
"But one day I'm gonna be a grandfather,"
Modern Family
"As much as I love Lily-"
Modern Family
"but I really, really, really just want him to get a job..."
Modern Family
"- [Whistle Blows] - [Crowd Shouting]"
Modern Family
"I just miss... my grilled cheese sandwiches!"
Modern Family
"but some of us are worried that the yelling is getting counterproductive."
Modern Family
"I happen to be the stepfather of-"
Modern Family
"And I'll be thinking of your dad while you do. Mmm."
Modern Family
"Ay. Don't be silly. We'll probably just stick around for a few minutes."
Modern Family
"You know how fussy she gets when we pass her off, so-"
Modern Family
"I hate our house. I know."
Modern Family
"Hi. This is my partner, Cameron Tucker."
Modern Family
"Oh. [Chuckles]"
Modern Family
"Business partners. Mergers and acquisitions. [Chuckles]"
Modern Family
"and then I would end up leaving, crying."
Modern Family
"Oh. All right. Oh, no. It's them."
Modern Family
"I'll meet you at the car in an hour."
Modern Family
"- Saw you in court once. - [Chuckles] Seriously?"
Modern Family
"He means my job."
Modern Family
"Oh, my gosh. I didn't know you guys were gonna be here. Hola, Claire."
Modern Family
"I had enough basketball for one day."
Modern Family
"Oh, I know. Come here, sweetie."
Modern Family
"Don't forget the pick and roll. These guys won't know how to defend it."
Modern Family
"Manny, pay attention! What are you looking at?"
Modern Family
"What? [Crowd Gasps]"
Modern Family
"You know, I'm obviously gonna have to go talk to my-"
Modern Family
"Mmm. Here."
Modern Family
"It's okay. No, it's not okay. It sucks."
Modern Family
"It's hard to guard a player if there's no player near you!"
Modern Family
"Take the job. What?"
Modern Family
"I don't. I mean, I do. I just- I miss my time with Lily,"
Modern Family
"Ooh, yeesh. What- [Whirring]"
Modern Family
"- [Crash] - [Whirring Stops]"
Modern Family
"Mitchell! Oh, my God. Did- No!"
Modern Family
"Cam, we- Did we do that? What are we gonna say?"
Modern Family
"Not on your own team! Wait here."
Modern Family
"You know what? Forget it. No, no, no, no. I'm good. I'm good."
Modern Family
"Then chances are he'll be open."
Modern Family
"[Blows Whistle] Okay, guys. Let's bring it out."
Modern Family
"[All] One, two, three- Li'I Dribblers!"
Modern Family
"And he becomes one of those weird dudes who walks around with a bird on his shoulder."
Modern Family
"I'm still your little girl."
Modern Family
"did a 360 and almost dunked it."
Modern Family
"I have a game next Saturday. You could come."
Modern Family
"[Phil] Steaks will be ready in five minutes."
Modern Family
"You're destroying those things."
Modern Family
"Ay, Jay, leave him alone. No, I'm sorry, but that cow has suffered long enough."
Modern Family
"- Fun. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait."
Modern Family
"Hang on. Dinner's ready in five minutes."
Modern Family
"Coach wants us to practice layups."
Modern Family
"They are deceptively hard- a curious mix of dance and strength."
Modern Family
"He seems to have the kids motivated."
Modern Family
"Oh, Dad, you haven't seen him. He taunts the kids. He's abusive."
Modern Family
"Listen, if this was a Colombian soccer league, long time ago,"
Modern Family
"one of the kids would have taken that guy out and- [Cutting Sound]"
Modern Family
"A coach is supposed to ride the kids hard."
Modern Family
"- Phil, help me out here. - He's a mean man."
Modern Family
"Oh, you're such a woman. Come to the game. You'll see."
Modern Family
"This guy's a real motherscratcher. Pardon the language, Gloria."
Modern Family
"- Mm-hmm. - "Gloria"?"
Modern Family
"He better cool it, or I'm gonna introduce him to the Captain and Tennille."
Modern Family
"[Mitchell] Oh, hi."
Modern Family
"Sorry we're late. I was at work."
Modern Family
"Oh, he loves to say that. And happy barbecue."
Modern Family
"Oh. [Cameron] Since Mitchell is between jobs,"
Modern Family
"I've taken a part-time job at a greeting card store,"
Modern Family
"which I love."
Modern Family
"Plus, with my discount, we're saving a fortune."
Modern Family
"How is spending a ton of money on greeting cards saving us a fortune?"
Modern Family
"It's math."
Modern Family
"It's really not. Look it up."
Modern Family
"2.95. 2.95. 4.95."
Modern Family
"Forty percent off. 2.95."
Modern Family
"3.95. Forty percent off. Forty percent off."
Modern Family
"Mitchell, I got this golf buddy of mine."
Modern Family
"Great guy. Super successful. You two should talk."
Modern Family
"It could mean a job for you. Oh, thanks, Dad, but I'm-"
Modern Family
"I'm not really looking for anything right now. But- Yeah, that's right."
Modern Family
"Yeah, I know you have all that greeting card "screw you" money,"
Modern Family
"but, uh, talk to the guy?"
Modern Family
"He's expecting your call in the morning."
Modern Family
"Dad, I appreciate it, but in the future- I can't stand this."
Modern Family
"No. Those steaks have been done for five minutes."
Modern Family
"I'm taking 'em off the grill."
Modern Family
"I'm sorry. I know how it feels to have him stick his nose where it doesn't belong."
Modern Family
"No biggie. It's just Jay being Jay."
Modern Family
"and then everybody better hide their meat."
Modern Family
"[Man] ♪ Hey, hey ♪"
Modern Family
"♪ Hey, hey Hey, hey ♪"
Modern Family
"♪ Hey, hey Hey ♪♪"
Modern Family
"[Sighs] Ooh. Who's she?"
Modern Family
"I hate it when you do that."
Modern Family
"[Chuckles] Who's he? It's Charlie Bingham."
Modern Family
"He's the guy that my dad wanted me to call. I googled him. Look."
Modern Family
"Oh, he owns Earthgear Apparel. I have their ski pants."
Modern Family
"Really? You don't- You don't ski."
Modern Family
"I have cargo pants and I don't work at the docks."
Modern Family
"God, I feel like such a slacker. I mean, he has done so much for being so young."
Modern Family
"Okay, look. He's opened up a dozen environmental foundations and conservancies."
Modern Family
"Wow. So, you gonna- you gonna call him?"
Modern Family
"I don't know. I mean, you know, I sort of promised myself and you..."
Modern Family
"that I'd take a little time off, and-"
Modern Family
"And you are loving your time off. Totally."
Modern Family
"I am losing my mind."
Modern Family
"which is, you know, more than life itself-"
Modern Family
"I am- whoo- not cut out to be a stay-at-home dad."
Modern Family
"No, but it's Cameron's turn. It's Cameron's turn to be out in the world..."
Modern Family
"interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home..."
Modern Family
"and-and plot the death of Dora the Explorer."
Modern Family
"Like to fill her backpack with bricks and throw her into Candy Cane River."
Modern Family
"So, I don't know. Should I- Should I call him?"
Modern Family
"I don't know. Maybe just to get your dad off your back. Yeah. Yeah."
Modern Family
"I mean, because the last thing I want for you is to take a job right now."
Modern Family
"Mmm. I am loving our life."
Modern Family
"I am in a really dark space."
Modern Family
"Being away from my Lily is literally torture."
Modern Family
"[Weeping] And I can't pressure Mitchell,"
Modern Family
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