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Clips from American Dad! - Father's Daze (S12E12)

"Feeling a little tired of America's number-one sport,"
American Dad!
"football?"
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"God, they're pathetic!"
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"There's got to be a better way."
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"And there already is."
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"Arena Football!"
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"Unforgiving sideline barriers!"
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"Water cannons!"
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"And you better watch out for..."
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"the Black Knight!"
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"It's Arena Football."
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"And the indoor thrills are coming your way"
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"as the league welcomes its newest expansion team --"
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"the Langley Falls Bazooka Sharks!"
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"Finally! Yeah!"
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"Yeah! Ah! Yeah!"
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"Yeah!"
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"Yeah! Yeah!"
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"Yeah!"
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"Yeah!"
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"♪ Good morning, U.S.A."
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"♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪"
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"♪ the sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪"
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"♪ and he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪"
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"♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say"
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"♪ Good -- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A."
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"Aah!"
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"Old Man Hansen, do you sell Bazooka Sharks merchandise?"
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"I'm looking for one of those snuggies with a built-in diaper"
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"and a place I can put my driver's license."
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"That blasted Arena Football team!"
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"We've been here three generations,"
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"and now they're tearing us down to put in the new stadium."
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"You poor old man."
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"This lamp sucks. I'll give you 2 bucks for it."
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"Mom! That is disgusting."
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"Taking advantage of -- wait. Half off this bird cage?"
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"Please, I could really use this."
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"I foster abused birds."
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"I'd like to put a candle in it."
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"I still have one shot to save the store."
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"There's a town council meeting about the stadium tonight."
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"Tonight, eh? Oh, I'll be there."
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"Please don't come if you're gonna support the stadium."
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"It's too late."
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"What's to become of you with the store closing, Petruchio?"
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"It could-a be time to find the guy who killed my brother."
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"Mm, now, what is this lining?"
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"Is a fine Bemberg lining, Mr. Steve."
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"Bemberg, not silk."
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"Well, you've been right about this kind of thing before."
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"Snot went nuts for me in Paisley."
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"Inseam always-a 20 inches."
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"I-is that unusual?"
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"You see, all the other boys -- bum, bum, bum,"
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"they are growing."
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"You -- bum, bum, bum. You hear the difference?"
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"They go on to men's-a department."
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"But you stay with Petruchio."
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"Y-you're telling me I'm not growing at all?"
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"Not in two years."
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"And it says it's been-a three days since-a you poop."
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"Let me see that book."
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"A-never."
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"I am not growing! Look!"
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"Nothing's happening!"
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"Yeah, when we flew to Hawaii last summer,"
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"you sat on dad's lap for free."
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"I haven't grown in years."
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"And it's actually quite liberating."
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"Gives me time to focus on all my other shit."
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"B-b-but what if I never grow again?"
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"Look, if you really want to do something,"
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"I know a doctor who specializes in growth treatments."
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"A specialist -- that's where the money is."
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"I should probably talk to my dad about this."
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"Steve, you want to talk?"
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"Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask you -- There's no time."
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"Your mother and I have to hurry"
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"down to the town council meeting."
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"I hope they let me speak."
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"I didn't put my name on a list or anything."
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"Of course they'll let you, honey. You're tall."
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"You're right. I'm to be taken seriously."
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"Oh, Steve, that really ties into"
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"what you were talking about earlier."
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"The sign outside needs to be updated."
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"And I say we just break the glass"
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"instead of continuing this preposterous 30-year search"
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"for the key."
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"And I say the key is still out there."
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"Agreed."
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"We'll now hear the last of the community objections"
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"to the Arena Football stadium."
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"First up is Old Man Hansen."
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"Good people of Langley Falls,"
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"I ask you to join me"
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"in standing up to the no-good crooks on our city council."
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"These bums are lining their pockets with their dirty deals,"
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"and they need to be hogtied and thrown down a well!"
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"Sorry. I'm a little nervous."
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"You're doing great."
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"It's important for Langley Falls"
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"to protect our historic places."
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"Also, while I'm up here, my name isn't Old Man Hansen."
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"It's Olmen -- Olmen Hansen."
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"It's Swedish. I'm 43."
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"I think we've all heard just about enough from Old Man H."
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"He doesn't know what he's talking about."
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"If you don't count our two hockey teams"
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"and our championship basketball squad --"
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"Go Lizards -- we have no indoor sports in this town."
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"We need indoor sports for the times when it's raining!"
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"Look at this beautiful vision of the future."
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"It's time for us to join the ranks of the other great cities"
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"in the arena league mid-Atlantic conference."
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"I'm talking Wilkes-Barre, Harrisburg, Wilmington."
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"[Bleep] Wilmington!"
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"Great cities have to move forward."
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"And you know what else has to move forward?"
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