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Clips from Please Like Me - Spanish Eggs (S01E01)

Up, up, up, up! Good boy.

"Up, up, up, up! Good boy."

Please Like Me

So you can see we've got a two-car garage.

"So you can see we've got a two-car garage."

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Big gate, big gate. No-one's getting through that.

"Big gate, big gate. No-one's getting through that."

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Substantial front yard, so play sports and whatnot.

"Substantial front yard, so play sports and whatnot."

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Do you want to keep going? I'll give you this brochure.

"Do you want to keep going? I'll give you this brochure."

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Not really sure what the plan is here.

"Not really sure what the plan is here."

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We'll just keep going.

"We'll just keep going."

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Thanks very much.

"Thanks very much."

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"I... hate... you."

""I... hate... you.""

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"I... just... wanted...

""I... just... wanted..."

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... to... be... there...

"... to... be... there..."

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... for... you and Josh.

"... for... you and Josh."

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But... "

"But... ""

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"... I guess Magic Dick Rod has it covered."

""... I guess Magic Dick Rod has it covered.""

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- She's Thai, isn't she? - Yeah.

"- She's Thai, isn't she? - Yeah."

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You should say something about ping-pong.

"You should say something about ping-pong."

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Oh, you're good, Peg.

"Oh, you're good, Peg."

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That's good.

"That's good."

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"Does... she... "

""Does... she... ""

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This is good!

"This is good!"

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"... do... ping-pong?"

""... do... ping-pong?""

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Oh, shit. No, not "ping-ping".

"Oh, shit. No, not "ping-ping"."

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It's bloody...

"It's bloody..."

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Ohh! This damned auto-correct.

"Ohh! This damned auto-correct."

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How do you... how do you get it to go back?

"How do you... how do you get it to go back?"

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I don't know.

"I don't know."

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Shit! Oh, no, here we go. Ok.

"Shit! Oh, no, here we go. Ok."

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"Ping-ping?"

""Ping-ping?""

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Go on. There, use that.

"Go on. There, use that."

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- Hey, guys! So good to see you. - Hi.

"- Hey, guys! So good to see you. - Hi."

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Hope you don't mind. I brought a salad.

"Hope you don't mind. I brought a salad."

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Oh, well, we're doing a '70s theme, so... whatever.

"Oh, well, we're doing a '70s theme, so... whatever."

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Oh, well, salad's salad. Now we have lots.

"Oh, well, salad's salad. Now we have lots."

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So we have some news. Niamh is not pregnant.

"So we have some news. Niamh is not pregnant."

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We went to the GP today and had a test.

"We went to the GP today and had a test."

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Well, yeah. My period was late. It's usually like clockwork.

"Well, yeah. My period was late. It's usually like clockwork."

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I was really getting into the idea of having a little kid too.

"I was really getting into the idea of having a little kid too."

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So I'm sorry, you told everyone that you were pregnant

"So I'm sorry, you told everyone that you were pregnant"

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because your period was late?

"because your period was late?"

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It's just, you know, that sometimes that happens.

"It's just, you know, that sometimes that happens."

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Sometimes your period is late, isn't it?

"Sometimes your period is late, isn't it?"

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I think we just got a bit carried away.

"I think we just got a bit carried away."

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No, Tom, can you really not see how ridiculous it is

"No, Tom, can you really not see how ridiculous it is"

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to tell people that you're pregnant because your period is late.

"to tell people that you're pregnant because your period is late."

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Did you even take a home test?

"Did you even take a home test?"

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Well, Niamh says her period's like clockwork.

"Well, Niamh says her period's like clockwork."

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I knew that she'd made it up. Did I not say she'd made it up?

"I knew that she'd made it up. Did I not say she'd made it up?"

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She bamboozled you by talking about periods. That's very cunning.

"She bamboozled you by talking about periods. That's very cunning."

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Ah, no, no, I didn't.

"Ah, no, no, I didn't."

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You can get these home tests at the store, Niamh.

"You can get these home tests at the store, Niamh."

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You don't just tell people you're pregnant without taking a test.

"You don't just tell people you're pregnant without taking a test."

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You know, I don't understand why you're so upset about this, Claire.

"You know, I don't understand why you're so upset about this, Claire."

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I mean, Tom and I are the ones who've lost our baby.

"I mean, Tom and I are the ones who've lost our baby."

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You lied to him because you thought

"You lied to him because you thought"

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that he was gonna break up with you, obviously.

"that he was gonna break up with you, obviously."

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Ah, no! I thought I was pregnant.

"Ah, no! I thought I was pregnant."

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Geoffrey.

"Geoffrey."

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Josh, I wanna talk to you.

"Josh, I wanna talk to you."

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- Oh, no, no. Not now! - Now.

"- Oh, no, no. Not now! - Now."

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It's just... I don't want to miss it.

"It's just... I don't want to miss it."

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No?

"No?"

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There's more cheese in the fridge, if anybody wants some...

"There's more cheese in the fridge, if anybody wants some..."

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... wants some cheese.

"... wants some cheese."

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Tom and I made out.

"Tom and I made out."

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Twice.

"Twice."

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How could you do this to me? When I was pregnant?

"How could you do this to me? When I was pregnant?"

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- You were never pregnant. - You thought I was pregnant.

"- You were never pregnant. - You thought I was pregnant."

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It wasn't when you were not pregnant.

"It wasn't when you were not pregnant."

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Well, the first time, but it was actually when we were broken up.

"Well, the first time, but it was actually when we were broken up."

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You're kidding me. It meant nothing? You were... he was sobbing!

"You're kidding me. It meant nothing? You were... he was sobbing!"

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No, it just looked like I was sobbing 'cause it was raining.

"No, it just looked like I was sobbing 'cause it was raining."

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You know, Claire, I was really, really wrong about you.

"You know, Claire, I was really, really wrong about you."

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This whole time I thought you were angry

"This whole time I thought you were angry"

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because, well, you know, you're a little bit plain,

"because, well, you know, you're a little bit plain,"

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but turns out you're actually just a bitch.

"but turns out you're actually just a bitch."

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We really need to talk about what happened today.

"We really need to talk about what happened today."

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No, don't worry about it. I called Claire and we hung out. It's fine.

"No, don't worry about it. I called Claire and we hung out. It's fine."

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Well, you were the one who walked away.

"Well, you were the one who walked away."

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Yeah, I was too hurt to stay.

"Yeah, I was too hurt to stay."

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- Can't this wait? - No, Josh, it can't.

"- Can't this wait? - No, Josh, it can't."

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Look, this is important to me, ok?

"Look, this is important to me, ok?"

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I'm supposed to be important to you, so this should be important to you.

"I'm supposed to be important to you, so this should be important to you."

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You know, every time we fight I don't know who to talk to

"You know, every time we fight I don't know who to talk to"

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because the only person I want to talk to is my best friend,

"because the only person I want to talk to is my best friend,"

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and you're my best friend.

"and you're my best friend."

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Really?

"Really?"

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Look, I know I can be annoying at times, but it's part of who I am, ok?

"Look, I know I can be annoying at times, but it's part of who I am, ok?"

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And I want to give you all of me, the best parts and the worst.

"And I want to give you all of me, the best parts and the worst."

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Why do I have to put up with the worst parts?

"Why do I have to put up with the worst parts?"

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That's what I want from you too, ok? All of you.

"That's what I want from you too, ok? All of you."

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I don't care what comes with that.

"I don't care what comes with that."

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How could you do this to me?

"How could you do this to me?"

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Home wreckers.

"Home wreckers."

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- Tom loves me. - Oh, really?

"- Tom loves me. - Oh, really?"

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That's not the impression I got when I was in the shower with him.

"That's not the impression I got when I was in the shower with him."

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Look, this is... this fighting is very flattering.

"Look, this is... this fighting is very flattering."

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You stole my man.

"You stole my man."

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But we... we were broken up at the time. The first time.

"But we... we were broken up at the time. The first time."

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I'm not threatened. I mean, Tom couldn't like you.

"I'm not threatened. I mean, Tom couldn't like you."

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I mean, heterosexual boys never like you.

"I mean, heterosexual boys never like you."

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Do they, Claire?

"Do they, Claire?"

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- Tom? - Yep?

"- Tom? - Yep?"

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You coming?

"You coming?"

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Tom, what the fuck are you talking about? Of course you're picking me.

"Tom, what the fuck are you talking about? Of course you're picking me."

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Yeah, I am. I'm just gonna stay here if that's cool.

"Yeah, I am. I'm just gonna stay here if that's cool."

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- Thanks. She's quite right. - Ok.

"- Thanks. She's quite right. - Ok."

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I'm sorry that it had to end like this.

"I'm sorry that it had to end like this."

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Fuck you. Look, we should have separated years ago, Alan.

"Fuck you. Look, we should have separated years ago, Alan."

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Oh! I'm not alone, Alan. I'm fine.

"Oh! I'm not alone, Alan. I'm fine."

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Ah, hi. We're all done for the day, so I'll call you later and tell you how it went.

"Ah, hi. We're all done for the day, so I'll call you later and tell you how it went."

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Yeah, good. Thanks. Thank you.

"Yeah, good. Thanks. Thank you."

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Ok, Peg, there's no more beer. We've gotta go inside.

"Ok, Peg, there's no more beer. We've gotta go inside."

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Come on, show's over.

"Come on, show's over."

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Peg?

"Peg?"

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Stay.

"Stay."

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Oh, Jesus.

"Oh, Jesus."

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Look, I don't understand why out of everyone

"Look, I don't understand why out of everyone"

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you're the person I have to try the hardest to impress.

"you're the person I have to try the hardest to impress."

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What do you think? Can we just...

"What do you think? Can we just..."

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Can we give this... give us a better shot?

"Can we give this... give us a better shot?"

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