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Clips from Please Like Me - Spanish Eggs (S01E01)

"What, are your hands still slippery from when you fingered..."
Please Like Me
"I was gonna say, "Are your hands still slippery"
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"from when you fingered your cousin?" but I couldn't do it."
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"You fingered your cousin!"
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"Geoffrey, have I seen that man's wang on the internet?"
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"- Yep, that's him. - Excuse me, sir, I've seen your wang!"
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"That is weak as piss. Bring your husband next time, ya faggot!"
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"Faggot!"
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"Geoffrey, I don't think you're allowed to say "faggot"."
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"- Excuse me, boys. - You faggot!"
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"Mate, I can't allow that kind of homophobic slandering."
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"I think it's time to go."
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"Homophobic? Mate, it's my boyfriend. We're not gonna be homophobic."
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"It's still time to go, lads. Come on."
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"- Why did you say that? - What?"
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"About Rod and the... you know, the bloody bedroom thing."
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"Are you trying to make me feel bad?"
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"It was a joke."
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"Oh."
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"It's not a big deal. I'm sure Mae has moves."
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"Jesus, Rose, do we need to talk more seriously about this?"
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"Oh, you seem a bit taken aback."
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"Sorry, is the sex a sore spot? Is it not great?"
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"Communication is the key. I've always found that."
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"Jesus Christ."
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"Sex isn't a sore spot with Rod, I can tell ya."
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"- Well, there's... - No communication."
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"I'm gonna go."
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"No, it's nothing like that, I promise. I just wanna go and do my own thing."
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"You're just ashamed of kissing me in public."
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"It's not about you. I just..."
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"I don't like it. I don't like all those people looking. It's icky."
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"You just can't handle that you've fallen in love with a guy."
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"Who the fuck says stuff like that?"
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"It sounds like a line from "Degrassi Junior High"."
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"- You're so afraid to feel things, Josh. - It's not about feeling things."
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"- Yeah, because you can't. - Yes, I can. I can. I can feel things!"
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"You know what? I don't... I don't need this."
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"Claire! What ya up to?"
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"Oh, sorry, Peg."
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"Rose, I just want you to know"
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"that I am genuinely doing the things that I'm doing"
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"What, easy like your mama?"
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"Really, Rose?"
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""Really, Rose?""
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"Can you please be serious?"
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"What are you doing? Stop it! Why are you making this so difficult?"
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"Easier for me?"
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"Now, how arrogant, Alan, of you"
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"to think that you are in control of making things easier for me."
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"We're divorced, mate. Like, that's it. It's over. You're irrelevant."
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"Now, so why should I be making things easier for you?"
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"- Stop it! - Sorry. Hi."
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"I was knocking for a while."
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"House looks great."
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"Hi. The agent."
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"I'm the aunty."
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"Good luck."
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"No, not those ones. The other ones."
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"Do you think I should be ok with kissing boys in public?"
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"Well, you weren't ok with kissing me in public."
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"Exactly. Exactly."
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"It's too much, you know?"
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"It's just so... ugh."
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"Ugh!"
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"Ok, I have to tell you something but don't tell Tom that I've told you."
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"- Ok. - No, I mean it."
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"You really, really can't tell him that I've told you."
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"I'm only telling you because I don't have anyone else."
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"Yes, ok, ok. Yes."
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"Yes, fine. What?"
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"Um..."
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"Tom and I... made out."
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"You poor thing."
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"What did he do to you?"
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"Nothing, I liked it! We made out twice, actually."
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"Once properly and once briefly."
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"Oh, how did you... how did you find sex in... in Tom?"
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"Yes, of course. Ok, obviously of course."
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"Of course you didn't have sex, obviously."
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"We did make out in the shower, though."
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"He did ejaculate on my thigh."
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"Oh, no, that's too much. Why would you tell me that?"
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"Well, I'm only telling you because I have no friends"
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"and I have to tell someone about this stuff."
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"Ok, ok."
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"Also..."
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"No, there isn't an also."
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"I won't believe that. I can't. I can't believe it."
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"I... I'd like to do it again."
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"A lot."
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"I liked it. I like him."
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"Yeah. Sure, I like him too, you know what I mean?"
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"He's a likeable guy. What a likeable chap."
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"Yeah, but I like like him."
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"No! Eugh!"
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"Eugh!"
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"Eugh!"
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"like I know you're actually quite secretly good at?"
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"No, I'm not secretly good at it. I'm not."
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"Whatever."
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"Anyway, I just... I really can't wait for him to get rid of Niamh."
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"I just... I can't stand her."
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"- She's the worst... person. - Hey..."
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"I have some fucked news."
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"What?"
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"Uh, they are keeping the baby."
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"I feel a bit weird that I set that news up by saying it was fucked."
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"I mean, that's good news. That's ok news."
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"They're not gonna... kill a baby. I guess that's good news."
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"That's not the point. It's just bad news for you personally."
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"Because, like, you know, you really like him and maybe he likes you and I just..."
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"I just hope that if I keep talking it'll take longer for you to say something"
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"that points out how completely heartbreaking this is for you."
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"Ok."
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"- No. - We can cook at my mum's house."
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"I'll just tell them it was my fault."
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"It's fine. I should just deal with this head on anyway."
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"- Yeah? - It's stupid. Yes."
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"- Ok. - Yep."
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