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Clips from Scrubs - My Own Private Practice Guy (S02E02)

You've been avoiding Dr Cox

"You've been avoiding Dr Cox"

Scrubs

We've been over this before, Newbie. Eyes front, no talking.

"We've been over this before, Newbie. Eyes front, no talking."

Scrubs

Aw, Perry, you pee standing up at work?

"Aw, Perry, you pee standing up at work?"

Scrubs

Aw, that's lovely. Well, hello, sailor.

"Aw, that's lovely. Well, hello, sailor."

Scrubs

And that's game.

"And that's game."

Scrubs

And just maybe, black people are a little better at basketball.

"And just maybe, black people are a little better at basketball."

Scrubs

What do you say?

"What do you say?"

Scrubs

Plus, he's not allowed in the apartment an hour before or after I do twosies.

"Plus, he's not allowed in the apartment an hour before or after I do twosies."

Scrubs

You're a doctor. Stop calling it twosies.

"You're a doctor. Stop calling it twosies."

Scrubs

cat-chatting with your favourite gal pal because you've finished pre-rounding.

"cat-chatting with your favourite gal pal because you've finished pre-rounding."

Scrubs

- Haven't started yet. - What?

"- Haven't started yet. - What?"

Scrubs

- Quite the prankster. - I could tell some stories.

"- Quite the prankster. - I could tell some stories."

Scrubs

If there's a God, you never will. This is Mrs Grayson's chart.

"If there's a God, you never will. This is Mrs Grayson's chart."

Scrubs

Another pretentious private-practice guy

"Another pretentious private-practice guy"

Scrubs

who'll order me around while he counts his money all day.

"who'll order me around while he counts his money all day."

Scrubs

I always pull pranks. Before, Dr Cox was like, "Did you do pre-rounding?"

"I always pull pranks. Before, Dr Cox was like, "Did you do pre-rounding?""

Scrubs

Could you get a pulmonary consult for Sally?

"Could you get a pulmonary consult for Sally?"

Scrubs

No.

"No."

Scrubs

Thanks a latte. Thanks a lot.

"Thanks a latte. Thanks a lot."

Scrubs

Or anger from, say, three double bogies in a row.

"Or anger from, say, three double bogies in a row."

Scrubs

Is falling asleep after sex considered narcolepsy,

"Is falling asleep after sex considered narcolepsy,"

Scrubs

First she'll stick her chest out and then she'll toss her hair.

"First she'll stick her chest out and then she'll toss her hair."

Scrubs

I have a boyfriend. Work is going well.

"I have a boyfriend. Work is going well."

Scrubs

I feel cute for the first time in my life.

"I feel cute for the first time in my life."

Scrubs

You're right, I'll never get married. Message received.

"You're right, I'll never get married. Message received."

Scrubs

I don't feel attractive at all lately,

"I don't feel attractive at all lately,"

Scrubs

like I've lost my spark or something.

"like I've lost my spark or something."

Scrubs

It makes you look frumpy.

"It makes you look frumpy."

Scrubs

- I thought he said clumpy. - How is that better?

"- I thought he said clumpy. - How is that better?"

Scrubs

Funny, I thought this was where we worked.

"Funny, I thought this was where we worked."

Scrubs

Dr Kelso, I have a low anterior resection this afternoon

"Dr Kelso, I have a low anterior resection this afternoon"

Scrubs

and I'd really like to exercise in order to be at my best.

"and I'd really like to exercise in order to be at my best."

Scrubs

but the last five Christmases, my son has brought his roommate Brad home,

"but the last five Christmases, my son has brought his roommate Brad home,"

Scrubs

Are you kidding me? We lived, we loved, we sang, for crying out loud.

"Are you kidding me? We lived, we loved, we sang, for crying out loud."

Scrubs

That's the kinda magic I'm talking about, buddy.

"That's the kinda magic I'm talking about, buddy."

Scrubs

- Hey, ladies. - You must know each other.

"- Hey, ladies. - You must know each other."

Scrubs

Sometimes in an awkward situation, it's best to go to your happy place.

"Sometimes in an awkward situation, it's best to go to your happy place."

Scrubs

A lot of people keep plants in their apartment. Right, JD?

"A lot of people keep plants in their apartment. Right, JD?"

Scrubs

That's lame.

"That's lame."

Scrubs

Once you learn his tricks, it's easier.

"Once you learn his tricks, it's easier."

Scrubs

No, I'm serious. Tell me about it.

"No, I'm serious. Tell me about it."

Scrubs

When he's done, look at him, stare him in the eye and say,

"When he's done, look at him, stare him in the eye and say,"

Scrubs

- I've got to get this thing fixed. - Allow me.

"- I've got to get this thing fixed. - Allow me."

Scrubs

May I?

"May I?"

Scrubs

See what you got here is a Medicom XJ.

"See what you got here is a Medicom XJ."

Scrubs

That and the smell of urinal cakes.

"That and the smell of urinal cakes."

Scrubs

This is so unfair. Everyone has a way of taking the edge off.

"This is so unfair. Everyone has a way of taking the edge off."

Scrubs

Some guy named DRK loves Ms Pac-Man,

"Some guy named DRK loves Ms Pac-Man,"

Scrubs

cos he's got the high score of 41 million.

"cos he's got the high score of 41 million."

Scrubs

Eat those dots, you naughty, naughty girl.

"Eat those dots, you naughty, naughty girl."

Scrubs

- Hey, Dr Cox. - Hey, buddy.

"- Hey, Dr Cox. - Hey, buddy."

Scrubs

Somebody I could call, gosh, my resident,

"Somebody I could call, gosh, my resident,"

Scrubs

Monica, just because you have a new buddy

"Monica, just because you have a new buddy"

Scrubs

Just do it.

"Just do it."

Scrubs

Welcome to today's lecture: the Biomechanical Reaction Of Dr Perry Cox

"Welcome to today's lecture: the Biomechanical Reaction Of Dr Perry Cox"

Scrubs

Quickly followed by stage two: Syllable Elongation.

"Quickly followed by stage two: Syllable Elongation."

Scrubs

then distances himself by overusing the word "there."

"then distances himself by overusing the word "there.""

Scrubs

I'll tell you what there, Newbie.

"I'll tell you what there, Newbie."

Scrubs

If you wanna stick around and help me out

"If you wanna stick around and help me out"

Scrubs

I knew this was his way of reaching out, but still...

"I knew this was his way of reaching out, but still..."

Scrubs

- I have plans tonight. - What plans?

"- I have plans tonight. - What plans?"

Scrubs

Think of something believable. Grandma died.

"Think of something believable. Grandma died."

Scrubs

and she's no spring chicken. I should call her.

"and she's no spring chicken. I should call her."

Scrubs

But when we talk, I have nothing to say. How about asking me how I am for once?

"But when we talk, I have nothing to say. How about asking me how I am for once?"

Scrubs

Hello, Mr Hilliard.

"Hello, Mr Hilliard."

Scrubs

- Who are you? - They call me Carla.

"- Who are you? - They call me Carla."

Scrubs

Nope. Totally clean.

"Nope. Totally clean."

Scrubs

I felt guilty about blowing off Dr Cox to grab a beer with Pete.

"I felt guilty about blowing off Dr Cox to grab a beer with Pete."

Scrubs

The kid's a doctor, for crying out loud, he saves lives.

"The kid's a doctor, for crying out loud, he saves lives."

Scrubs

Unfortunately, that never works.

"Unfortunately, that never works."

Scrubs

where I give a flying duckie about what you say and do?

"where I give a flying duckie about what you say and do?"

Scrubs

I know he's in private practice and everything,

"I know he's in private practice and everything,"

Scrubs

but Pete's a really cool guy.

"but Pete's a really cool guy."

Scrubs

you will stay away from him.

"you will stay away from him."

Scrubs

Oh, my God.

"Oh, my God."

Scrubs

- Jealous. - Ta-da!

"- Jealous. - Ta-da!"

Scrubs

Don't worry about it, champ. It's all right to need me.

"Don't worry about it, champ. It's all right to need me."

Scrubs

Watch this.

"Watch this."

Scrubs

Todd, I'm out of extra-long tongue depressors.

"Todd, I'm out of extra-long tongue depressors."

Scrubs

What is so different about me since I got engaged?

"What is so different about me since I got engaged?"

Scrubs

Wait. I found one. It's not made of wood, but give me a minute.

"Wait. I found one. It's not made of wood, but give me a minute."

Scrubs

No way...

"No way..."

Scrubs

- This is mine from home. - 40 million, son.

"- This is mine from home. - 40 million, son."

Scrubs

Do you know how many patients I had to ignore to get that high score?

"Do you know how many patients I had to ignore to get that high score?"

Scrubs

I need to play basketball.

"I need to play basketball."

Scrubs

Now, this is how you relieve stress.

"Now, this is how you relieve stress."

Scrubs

The janitor's a nice person?

"The janitor's a nice person?"

Scrubs

I'll ask him an innocuous question,

"I'll ask him an innocuous question,"

Scrubs

All right. Go.

"All right. Go."

Scrubs

What's the deal, Alpha Dog? Gonna cut me some slack?

"What's the deal, Alpha Dog? Gonna cut me some slack?"

Scrubs

OK, good answer. I understand you're seeing Jordan again.

"OK, good answer. I understand you're seeing Jordan again."

Scrubs

Know what would be seriously good for you?

"Know what would be seriously good for you?"

Scrubs

Do you guys mind if I turn on CNN?

"Do you guys mind if I turn on CNN?"

Scrubs

My grandma bought me a stock. I wanna see how it's doing.

"My grandma bought me a stock. I wanna see how it's doing."

Scrubs

I'll do one of these to change the channel.

"I'll do one of these to change the channel."

Scrubs

it's like hearing my swim coach's voice again. And my body doesn't deserve that.

"it's like hearing my swim coach's voice again. And my body doesn't deserve that."

Scrubs

That's what I'm talking about.

"That's what I'm talking about."

Scrubs

- Had to be done. - OK, terrific.

"- Had to be done. - OK, terrific."

Scrubs

Grown-ups tackle each other all the time.

"Grown-ups tackle each other all the time."

Scrubs

A little possessive, but I'm flattered.

"A little possessive, but I'm flattered."

Scrubs

you did it knowing full well exactly how I felt about her.

"you did it knowing full well exactly how I felt about her."

Scrubs

That's a lie. You bought me a latte.

"That's a lie. You bought me a latte."

Scrubs

We were having problems.

"We were having problems."

Scrubs

Problems that you knew about because I confided in you.

"Problems that you knew about because I confided in you."

Scrubs

Go.

"Go."

Scrubs

And finally the reason Dr Cox and his wife got divorced

"And finally the reason Dr Cox and his wife got divorced"

Scrubs

- Say it. - I'm your bitch.

"- Say it. - I'm your bitch."

Scrubs

My cousin's volleyball team has a game tonight.

"My cousin's volleyball team has a game tonight."

Scrubs

- I think I'm gonna pass. - I get it.

"- I think I'm gonna pass. - I get it."

Scrubs

Just be careful who you hitch your wagon to.

"Just be careful who you hitch your wagon to."

Scrubs

and I always made damn sure she knew she came second.

"and I always made damn sure she knew she came second."

Scrubs

But God Almighty, I'm trying harder this time.

"But God Almighty, I'm trying harder this time."

Scrubs

Who cares if Jordan wants to keep it a secret? Tell him it's his baby.

"Who cares if Jordan wants to keep it a secret? Tell him it's his baby."

Scrubs

Oh, hello, DJ.

"Oh, hello, DJ."

Scrubs

Whether it's victories over your insecurities.

"Whether it's victories over your insecurities."

Scrubs

Dr Kelso...?

"Dr Kelso...?"

Scrubs

Kelso!

"Kelso!"

Scrubs

Either way, you've got to choose your battles.

"Either way, you've got to choose your battles."

Scrubs

- It's my son. - Oh, my God, JD.

"- It's my son. - Oh, my God, JD."

Scrubs

I'm sorry, I didn't even see him there.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even see him there."

Scrubs

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