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Clips from Letterkenny - Super Soft Birthday (S01E01)

"we separate."
Letterkenny
"Great. Let's go!"
Letterkenny
"All right. So, hit me."
Letterkenny
"Just fuckin' square off."
Letterkenny
"WAYNE: Hey! He's pulling hair, he's pulling hair."
Letterkenny
"Come on, come on!"
Letterkenny
"DAN: I'm gonna clock this shitty wolverine."
Letterkenny
"(YELLING)"
Letterkenny
"Look at the execution, boys. Look at the hustle, boys."
Letterkenny
"Ding."
Letterkenny
"I was Donny Drives the car. I was Nicki Navigates."
Letterkenny
"But, uh..."
Letterkenny
"We couldn't find a lot of the stuff on the list."
Letterkenny
"Yeah. Like what?"
Letterkenny
"Uh, well..."
Letterkenny
"We haven't had our pre‐game naps either."
Letterkenny
"Well, we need everything on the list."
Letterkenny
"So, what drinks do you need ingredients for?"
Letterkenny
"Corebelo Love Potion."
Letterkenny
"Uh, Purple Passion Punch."
Letterkenny
"Couldn't find a Flirtini."
Letterkenny
"Couldn't find Sparkling Mango Sorbet Float."
Letterkenny
"Don't... Don't know really what that is."
Letterkenny
"Look, I have about a million things to do if this is"
Letterkenny
"gonna be the softest birthday party ever."
Letterkenny
"If you guys don't get me everything on the list,"
Letterkenny
"you'll be pulling each other's horns from now on."
Letterkenny
"Pitter patter!"
Letterkenny
"(BOTH GROANING)"
Letterkenny
"That shit is the worst."
Letterkenny
"That was right to stick to the task at hand, pal."
Letterkenny
"I wouldn't say shit if my mouth was full of it."
Letterkenny
"Yeah, more like..."
Letterkenny
"I always liked NOFX."
Letterkenny
"Big fuckin' day, Dairy. Big fuckin' day!"
Letterkenny
"Happy birthday, it's your special day Dairy. DAN: Birthday beats! Birthday beats!"
Letterkenny
"Ow. Oh, that's not polite, Katy."
Letterkenny
"That's the most action I've seen since I gave the dairy cows' teats a good scrubbin'."
Letterkenny
"I don't need to know that."
Letterkenny
"and that's what I appreciates about you."
Letterkenny
"Is that what you appreciate about me?"
Letterkenny
"Let's go easy over there, squirrelly Dan."
Letterkenny
"This guy looks like an Australian rugbies player, chiseled out of stones."
Letterkenny
"Uh‐oh. Got legs on him like tree trunks."
Letterkenny
"Is that a deciduous tree or a coniferous tree?"
Letterkenny
"What? Well, there's a difference."
Letterkenny
"If we're talking about, like, a maple tree,"
Letterkenny
"which is thick and deciduous"
Letterkenny
"or a Christmas tree, which is thin and coniferous."
Letterkenny
"Yeah, but both is hards and mades of woods, right?"
Letterkenny
"There's a difference is all I'm saying."
Letterkenny
"What type of tree is a coconut tree?"
Letterkenny
"It's a palm tree."
Letterkenny
"How do you know?"
Letterkenny
"Well, like the Internet. Oh."
Letterkenny
"Anyways, backs to Joint Boy."
Letterkenny
"How come I've never heard of him before?"
Letterkenny
"Oh, he just gots out of jail."
Letterkenny
"He was arrested for assaults after he beats the shits"
Letterkenny
"out of a guy for pushin' up on his sister."
Letterkenny
"bald‐headed, bearded dudes what looks like a whole bunch of surly uncles."
Letterkenny
"You think we should call The Ginger?"
Letterkenny
"DARYL: Why not? He's tougher than hell."
Letterkenny
"WAYNE: Yeah, but..."
Letterkenny
"Well, like you heard he fucked an ostrich, right?"
Letterkenny
"He what?"
Letterkenny
"He fucked an ostrich."
Letterkenny
"Allegedly."
Letterkenny
"How does a fella get caught up in that sort of business?"
Letterkenny
"Well, I guess his cousin"
Letterkenny
"had an ostrich farm"
Letterkenny
"when he thought it might be fun to fuck one."
Letterkenny
"Allegedly."
Letterkenny
"So, he got hard"
Letterkenny
"somehow"
Letterkenny
"and he fucked an ostrich."
Letterkenny
"I should say."
Letterkenny
"This one's for you."
Letterkenny
"DARYL: Hey, Joint Boy's here."
Letterkenny
"Which one of youse is Wayne?"
Letterkenny
"We got some business."
Letterkenny
"You're interrupting a party for my best pal"
Letterkenny
"that my little sister worked pretty hard to put on."
Letterkenny
"May I sort this out now, please?"
Letterkenny
"Goddamn right you may."
Letterkenny
"You had yourself a scrap the other weekend at Modean's."
Letterkenny
"You left the dude pretty banged up."
Letterkenny
"I heard he kicked a slow learning fella in the bum while he was havin' a piss."
Letterkenny
"Being the toughest guy in Letterkenny is important to me."
Letterkenny
"I'm sure it is to you too"
Letterkenny
"but we're all hicks here."
Letterkenny
"And you've done me a favor, so I'd be willing to shake your hand and call it a day."
Letterkenny
"I didn't do you no favors."
Letterkenny
"'Cause I don't know who the fuck you are."
Letterkenny
"We done talking?"
Letterkenny
"You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?"
Letterkenny
"It's really more for them, ain't it?"
Letterkenny
"No, it's not. It's cream cheese. No."
Letterkenny
"That's cream cheese."
Letterkenny
"No. Yeah, that's cream cheese."
Letterkenny
"Jesus!"
Letterkenny
"You remember they weren't allowed to have birthday parties growing up."
Letterkenny
"I figure this would have been the softest birthday ever."
Letterkenny
"That's a small victory for you, I suppose."
Letterkenny
"hoovering up that white powder of theirs."
Letterkenny
"The devil's dandruff."
Letterkenny
"You ever hoovered barnyard schneef?"
Letterkenny
"I've hoovered behind the manure pile schneef."
Letterkenny
"You ever hoovered schneef off a sleeping cow's spine?"
Letterkenny
"I've hoovered schneef off of an awake cow's teat."
Letterkenny
"Gonna hurt your balls, bro."
Letterkenny
"Oh, yeah."
Letterkenny
"You ever hoovered library schneef?"
Letterkenny
"I've hoovered schneef off of the cover of"
Letterkenny
"His dick alone would break your bed."
Letterkenny
"It was really big."
Letterkenny
"(PHONE BEEPING)"
Letterkenny
"I've hoovered schneef off the collection plate in the rectory."
Letterkenny
"Do you know what dick dingers are?"
Letterkenny
"Yep."
Letterkenny
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