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Clips from Letterkenny - Super Soft Birthday (S01E01)

Why's he called Sled Ted?

"Why's he called Sled Ted?"

Letterkenny

Well, he likes fixin' sleds, and ridin' sleds,

"Well, he likes fixin' sleds, and ridin' sleds,"

Letterkenny

and talkin' about sleds.

"and talkin' about sleds."

Letterkenny

He just really likes sleddin', boys.

"He just really likes sleddin', boys."

Letterkenny

Uh, he beat up a guy named Basic Jay.

"Uh, he beat up a guy named Basic Jay."

Letterkenny

Why's he called Basic Jay?

"Why's he called Basic Jay?"

Letterkenny

DAN: And now he thinks he's the toughest guy in Letterkenny.

"DAN: And now he thinks he's the toughest guy in Letterkenny."

Letterkenny

After that, we got Rat Ass.

"After that, we got Rat Ass."

Letterkenny

Why's he called Rat Ass?

"Why's he called Rat Ass?"

Letterkenny

Can confirm.

"Can confirm."

Letterkenny

He beat up a guy named Brains.

"He beat up a guy named Brains."

Letterkenny

See, his name's Brian but he spelt it Brain

"See, his name's Brian but he spelt it Brain"

Letterkenny

in the computer at bowling one time. It just kinda stuck.

"in the computer at bowling one time. It just kinda stuck."

Letterkenny

And after that, we got Joint Boy.

"And after that, we got Joint Boy."

Letterkenny

Because he smokes lots of joints, Dairy.

"Because he smokes lots of joints, Dairy."

Letterkenny

Well, just plucking the low hanging fruit is what that is.

"Well, just plucking the low hanging fruit is what that is."

Letterkenny

I've seen that guy take on four bouncers at the rippers one time.

"I've seen that guy take on four bouncers at the rippers one time."

Letterkenny

He is otherworldly.

"He is otherworldly."

Letterkenny

Not that it matters, I guess.

"Not that it matters, I guess."

Letterkenny

Look, keep it at the end of the lane way. No degens on the property.

"Look, keep it at the end of the lane way. No degens on the property."

Letterkenny

That's a Texas size 10‐4. Over and out.

"That's a Texas size 10‐4. Over and out."

Letterkenny

Well, this is annoying.

"Well, this is annoying."

Letterkenny

(RAP MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO)

"(RAP MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR RADIO)"

Letterkenny

The fuck are they doin' out there? They're scared of you.

"The fuck are they doin' out there? They're scared of you."

Letterkenny

This snipe is a fuckin' sniper.

"This snipe is a fuckin' sniper."

Letterkenny

Dirty fucking dangles, boys.

"Dirty fucking dangles, boys."

Letterkenny

You're a sniper. You're a snipe.

"You're a sniper. You're a snipe."

Letterkenny

If you make me walk up the lane way again, we're having babies.

"If you make me walk up the lane way again, we're having babies."

Letterkenny

Maybe, check, make sure they're still attached right quick.

"Maybe, check, make sure they're still attached right quick."

Letterkenny

One time, my cousin...

"One time, my cousin..."

Letterkenny

and he had to show it to his mum.

"and he had to show it to his mum."

Letterkenny

Was it his scrotal sack?

"Was it his scrotal sack?"

Letterkenny

Well, you know. That dangly piece of flesh, what hangs down behind the penis.

"Well, you know. That dangly piece of flesh, what hangs down behind the penis."

Letterkenny

So, he tore his ball sack open trying to do a skateboard trick

"So, he tore his ball sack open trying to do a skateboard trick"

Letterkenny

and he's gots to show it to his mum because apparently one of his testicles was showing.

"and he's gots to show it to his mum because apparently one of his testicles was showing."

Letterkenny

Was it the right one or the left one?

"Was it the right one or the left one?"

Letterkenny

Well, because the left one has more sperm in it.

"Well, because the left one has more sperm in it."

Letterkenny

Spermatozoa is what it's called.

"Spermatozoa is what it's called."

Letterkenny

Tell you what, if I ripped open my ball sack trying to do a skateboard trick,

"Tell you what, if I ripped open my ball sack trying to do a skateboard trick,"

Letterkenny

I'd be more worried about seeing my vas deferens.

"I'd be more worried about seeing my vas deferens."

Letterkenny

Well, you'd have to tear your ball sack pretty near wide open doing a skateboard trick

"Well, you'd have to tear your ball sack pretty near wide open doing a skateboard trick"

Letterkenny

if you wanted to see your own vas deferens.

"if you wanted to see your own vas deferens."

Letterkenny

I'm not sure I wanna see my own vas deferens

"I'm not sure I wanna see my own vas deferens"

Letterkenny

I think if I saw my own vas deferens,

"I think if I saw my own vas deferens,"

Letterkenny

I'd be quite worried.

"I'd be quite worried."

Letterkenny

I'd be most worried if I tore my ball sack open trying to do a skateboard trick

"I'd be most worried if I tore my ball sack open trying to do a skateboard trick"

Letterkenny

if I could see my accessory glands.

"if I could see my accessory glands."

Letterkenny

Well, you don't want to go too kooky with accessories on your truck.

"Well, you don't want to go too kooky with accessories on your truck."

Letterkenny

Or your jeep. It's okay with like, a quad, though,

"Or your jeep. It's okay with like, a quad, though,"

Letterkenny

like my buddy Big T's got a snorkel kit on his and that's pretty punk rock.

"like my buddy Big T's got a snorkel kit on his and that's pretty punk rock."

Letterkenny

What's an accessory gland?

"What's an accessory gland?"

Letterkenny

Well, if your vas deferens is your sperm ducts,

"Well, if your vas deferens is your sperm ducts,"

Letterkenny

the accessory glands is what supplies lubricant to the sperm duct.

"the accessory glands is what supplies lubricant to the sperm duct."

Letterkenny

I think if I ripped open my ball sack trying to do a skateboard trick,

"I think if I ripped open my ball sack trying to do a skateboard trick,"

Letterkenny

I'd be most worried about seeing my seminal vesicles.

"I'd be most worried about seeing my seminal vesicles."

Letterkenny

and contains fructose

"and contains fructose"

Letterkenny

which is energy for the sperm.

"which is energy for the sperm."

Letterkenny

for the people that drive the electric cars.

"for the people that drive the electric cars."

Letterkenny

That's pretty much your seminal vesticles.

"That's pretty much your seminal vesticles."

Letterkenny

Florida State seminal vesicles and nobody laughed.

"Florida State seminal vesicles and nobody laughed."

Letterkenny

(PHONE RINGING)

"(PHONE RINGING)"

Letterkenny

Hello.

"Hello."

Letterkenny

Okay.

"Okay."

Letterkenny

End of the lane way. Don't come up the property.

"End of the lane way. Don't come up the property."

Letterkenny

Sled Ted's here.

"Sled Ted's here."

Letterkenny

Geez, Basic Jay must have been a shit fighter to lose to that ass‐hat.

"Geez, Basic Jay must have been a shit fighter to lose to that ass‐hat."

Letterkenny

He's not really a fuckin' basic.

"He's not really a fuckin' basic."

Letterkenny

Guess he could have had a cold.

"Guess he could have had a cold."

Letterkenny

Or the flu.

"Or the flu."

Letterkenny

Sled Ted had Bigfoot hands.

"Sled Ted had Bigfoot hands."

Letterkenny

Yeah, he's a big grimy brute.

"Yeah, he's a big grimy brute."

Letterkenny

Shit fighter, though.

"Shit fighter, though."

Letterkenny

Do you guys remember the fragrance Brut?

"Do you guys remember the fragrance Brut?"

Letterkenny

Yeah. Yeah, they still make that.

"Yeah. Yeah, they still make that."

Letterkenny

I always enjoyed that fragrance.

"I always enjoyed that fragrance."

Letterkenny

You can use it to dry up zits too.

"You can use it to dry up zits too."

Letterkenny

Why wouldn't you just dip your hands in the parts cleaner?

"Why wouldn't you just dip your hands in the parts cleaner?"

Letterkenny

Well, most people don't have a parts cleaner.

"Well, most people don't have a parts cleaner."

Letterkenny

Well, most likely Rat Ass will be your next dude.

"Well, most likely Rat Ass will be your next dude."

Letterkenny

I hear that he is a greaser.

"I hear that he is a greaser."

Letterkenny

Can confirm.

"Can confirm."

Letterkenny

So fuckin' greasy I almost don't want to.

"So fuckin' greasy I almost don't want to."

Letterkenny

I saw him with his shirt off, swimming at the gravel pit not that long ago.

"I saw him with his shirt off, swimming at the gravel pit not that long ago."

Letterkenny

Well, like, extraordinary how?

"Well, like, extraordinary how?"

Letterkenny

Well, like, I thought about it for a while after is all.

"Well, like, I thought about it for a while after is all."

Letterkenny

WAYNE: Well, by not showering likely.

"WAYNE: Well, by not showering likely."

Letterkenny

Yeah. DAN: Yeah.

"Yeah. DAN: Yeah."

Letterkenny

That's 'cause it's an unisex fragrance.

"That's 'cause it's an unisex fragrance."

Letterkenny

But would ya? Oh, negative.

"But would ya? Oh, negative."

Letterkenny

Would you wear Gap Dream?

"Would you wear Gap Dream?"

Letterkenny

DAN: No!

"DAN: No!"

Letterkenny

No, no, Dairy, that's for girls.

"No, no, Dairy, that's for girls."

Letterkenny

Dairy, that's for girls.

"Dairy, that's for girls."

Letterkenny

You can't walk around smelling like pretty girls.

"You can't walk around smelling like pretty girls."

Letterkenny

You're not wearing it right now, are you?

"You're not wearing it right now, are you?"

Letterkenny

Cologne is too expensive. I just use sunscreen. Banana Boat.

"Cologne is too expensive. I just use sunscreen. Banana Boat."

Letterkenny

Let's get into some of those fuckin' all dressed chips.

"Let's get into some of those fuckin' all dressed chips."

Letterkenny

WAYNE: Jesus, Katy, put some fuckin' clothes on.

"WAYNE: Jesus, Katy, put some fuckin' clothes on."

Letterkenny

Hey, neighbor said he's not gonna give us a horse this year.

"Hey, neighbor said he's not gonna give us a horse this year."

Letterkenny

What?

"What?"

Letterkenny

Well, he said that last year we returned him and his breath smelled like alcohol.

"Well, he said that last year we returned him and his breath smelled like alcohol."

Letterkenny

Well, it was probably mine. You could have lit my breath on fire the next day.

"Well, it was probably mine. You could have lit my breath on fire the next day."

Letterkenny

Horse was half cut though.

"Horse was half cut though."

Letterkenny

He said that he's gonna give us a donkey. Nope.

"He said that he's gonna give us a donkey. Nope."

Letterkenny

Might be funny.

"Might be funny."

Letterkenny

You're really gonna pump the brakes on a donkey dressed up like a unicorn?

"You're really gonna pump the brakes on a donkey dressed up like a unicorn?"

Letterkenny

Oh, I'm stompin' the brakes.

"Oh, I'm stompin' the brakes."

Letterkenny

You put that idea right through the fuckin' windshield.

"You put that idea right through the fuckin' windshield."

Letterkenny

But it's a donkey dressed up like a unicorn. Katy!

"But it's a donkey dressed up like a unicorn. Katy!"

Letterkenny

Well, it's better than a kick in the pants.

"Well, it's better than a kick in the pants."

Letterkenny

Do you want this to be the softest birthday party ever or not?

"Do you want this to be the softest birthday party ever or not?"

Letterkenny

I want this just as much as you do.

"I want this just as much as you do."

Letterkenny

Well, then find us a horse.

"Well, then find us a horse."

Letterkenny

Please and thank you. And don't stay out in the sun too long.

"Please and thank you. And don't stay out in the sun too long."

Letterkenny

Your skin will look like an old saddle bag.

"Your skin will look like an old saddle bag."

Letterkenny

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Letterkenny

(PHONE RINGING)

"(PHONE RINGING)"

Letterkenny

Okay.

"Okay."

Letterkenny

End of the lane way. Don't come up the property.

"End of the lane way. Don't come up the property."

Letterkenny

Rat Ass is here.

"Rat Ass is here."

Letterkenny

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