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Clips from Axe Cop - Bald Cop (S02E02)

"The star on my hat shoots laser beams to help me fight bad guys."
Axe Cop
"There is a heat ray..."
Axe Cop
"- And a brain melt ray. - My brain!"
Axe Cop
"So he had tryouts and hired a partner."
Axe Cop
"Hmmm."
Axe Cop
"- and no one's seen Axe Cop. - Don't be such a worry-wart."
Axe Cop
"Lava!"
Axe Cop
"Grey Diamond, get the desk!"
Axe Cop
"I'm gonna change into a Hell Chicken zombie."
Axe Cop
"Quick! We're gonna to have to amputate!"
Axe Cop
"- Amputate?! - Grey, hold him down."
Axe Cop
"The whole world is being attacked by Hell Chicken zombies..."
Axe Cop
"from hell. And people are wondering where the heck is Axe Cop?"
Axe Cop
"Oh man, it's Axe Cop."
Axe Cop
"I have two more dead bad guys coming your way."
Axe Cop
"Ahhhhh. What the...?"
Axe Cop
"Follow me."
Axe Cop
"because being embarrassed is my greatest weakness."
Axe Cop
"And you know who's awesome at sleepovers?"
Axe Cop
"Liborg! Which is why, while you were talking, I signaled"
Axe Cop
"Best friend!"
Axe Cop
"Oh Wexter! Thank goodness!"
Axe Cop
"that I will melt away... literally."
Axe Cop
"You don't need to be embarrassed."
Axe Cop
"A secret nobody knows."
Axe Cop
"Now, Mr. President, tell me the launch"
Axe Cop
"Wait!"
Axe Cop
"- Why aren't you melting? - My childhood hero,"
Axe Cop
"Uncle Axe, told me that I don't have to be embarrassed"
Axe Cop
"What's the big deal? Being bald isn't that bad."
Axe Cop
"But for everybody else, it's the absolute worst thing you can be."
Axe Cop
"Well, I don't know about that. I mean, some guys can pull it off."
Axe Cop
"My hat is amazing. I wear it for many reasons."
Axe Cop
"It has a freeze ray."
Axe Cop
"and a cutting ray."
Axe Cop
"But I also wear my hat to hide my most embarrassing secret."
Axe Cop
"I... am bald."
Axe Cop
"One day, at the scene of the fire the cop found the perfect axe."
Axe Cop
"_"
Axe Cop
"_"
Axe Cop
"I will chop your heads off!"
Axe Cop
"Right on time, mail guy."
Axe Cop
"Tell me you're holding a sweet halloween catalogue!"
Axe Cop
"Nope... I'm holding two."
Axe Cop
"Oh yeah! You know me so well, mail guy."
Axe Cop
"Big guy, got some gun bills for you."
Axe Cop
"- jury duty. - Aw!"
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop, here's a bag of fan mail from single women,"
Axe Cop
"as per ushe. And one mysterious envelope."
Axe Cop
"_"
Axe Cop
"_"
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop, check it out. I'm gonna be sexy ketchup,"
Axe Cop
"you be sexy mustard."
Axe Cop
"Hey, Axe Cop, you okay? Your face looks like it's melting."
Axe Cop
"Uh... I'm going out to get some mayonnaise."
Axe Cop
"What's going on? I thought he hated mayonnaise."
Axe Cop
"Is that right?"
Axe Cop
"Good job, little chicky. Axe Cop won't be a problem now."
Axe Cop
"I couldn't have done it without you."
Axe Cop
"it's time to summon the Hell Chicken zombie apocalypse."
Axe Cop
"Hell Chicken zombie apocalypse!"
Axe Cop
"You sure you haven't seen him?"
Axe Cop
"Moustache, cop outfit, full head of hair,"
Axe Cop
"partially melted face. No? All right."
Axe Cop
"Well, I've tried every mayonnaise store in town"
Axe Cop
"Those aren't just zombies."
Axe Cop
"Oh no."
Axe Cop
"I've been bit."
Axe Cop
"This is going to be the worst experience"
Axe Cop
"you've ever had in your life, pain-wise."
Axe Cop
"Shh!"
Axe Cop
"I got a great idea. Go kill him."
Axe Cop
"Me? No no. You go kill him."
Axe Cop
"I-I tried to kill him last time."
Axe Cop
"All right fine. Let's go kill him together."
Axe Cop
"Yeah, I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."
Axe Cop
"- Surprise! - What the heck?!"
Axe Cop
"Make it quick, attack decoy, I'm watching "Uncle Axe.""
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop? I thought you just killed us!"
Axe Cop
"I did kill you. But then I un-killed you."
Axe Cop
"Where are we?"
Axe Cop
"- I think we're in Chicago. - Wrong."
Axe Cop
"which means I can never be embarrassed,"
Axe Cop
"It makes me melt... literally."
Axe Cop
"But here I am safe. Even the animals can't hurt me."
Axe Cop
"The rams will never ram."
Axe Cop
"And the bears are all hairless,"
Axe Cop
"so they are too ashamed to bite."
Axe Cop
"All the work in Secret Town"
Axe Cop
"Rhino Man was one of the baddest"
Axe Cop
"bad guys on the whole planet."
Axe Cop
"How'd you get him to scoop ice cream for you?"
Axe Cop
"With hypnotizing ice cream."
Axe Cop
"You're a garbage lady now."
Axe Cop
"- Pick that up. - Right away, Axe Cop."
Axe Cop
"- And you are my butler now. - Very good, sir."
Axe Cop
"I love this place."
Axe Cop
"I think we should be safe now. Why don't you guys get some naptime?"
Axe Cop
"- I'll take the first shift. - Oh fun, it'll be like a sleepover."
Axe Cop
"for him to come over on my best-friend-calling watch."
Axe Cop
"- No, you did not. - And he should be here"
Axe Cop
"I think you're mispronouncing "now!""
Axe Cop
"Liborg!"
Axe Cop
"- Look out! - Ah, zombies!"
Axe Cop
"Quick! Everybody, hop on!"
Axe Cop
"I bid you good evening, Axe Cop."
Axe Cop
"Shall I wake you in the morning?"
Axe Cop
"No need. When I sleep it's only for two minutes."
Axe Cop
"- Uncle Axe! - Axe Cop,"
Axe Cop
"You're welcome. I'm going to wake up now."
Axe Cop
"You need to leave secret town and save everyone."
Axe Cop
"I can't help them, Uncle Axe. Hell Chicken knows my secret."
Axe Cop
"Turn down the volume on the TV"
Axe Cop
"Morning tea, sir."
Axe Cop
"- Yah! - I've got it, I've got it."
Axe Cop
"codes for all the nuclear weapons in the world"
Axe Cop
"I already told you."
Axe Cop
"and write this down. Four, eight, fif..."
Axe Cop
"Time to go back to hell, chicken."
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop's brains!"
Axe Cop
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