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Clips from South Park - Le Petit Tourette (S11E11)

"I've got an golden twinkle in my eye."
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"Hey, don't you wanna buy that toy?"
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"I don't need the toy. I've found something better!"
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"'Cause I've got a golden ticket!"
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"I've got a golden change to make my way."
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"I was checking out the Internet and..."
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"It almost seems like his symptoms are like those in something called Tour..."
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"Tourette's Syndrome?"
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"Tourette's Syndrome? What is that, Mommy?"
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"Tourette's is a hereditary disease, it doesn't just suddenly start."
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"On the other hand, Tourette's does often develop later in a child's life..."
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"getting progressively worse."
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"Oh, well that's it! Shithead! Asshole! Mexican sticky balls!"
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"We don't know very much about Tourette's, I'm afraid."
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"But we will give your son all the help we can."
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"But what about school, Doctor?"
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"The teachers and the principal,"
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"they won't understand that I can't control what I say."
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"Don't worry, young man."
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"We'll make sure everyone understands your disease..."
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"Oh, that's awesome. Thank you. Faggot!"
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"Shit! Butthole!"
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"Hey, Wendy. Dumb bitch! Uh, sorry."
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"Titties! Cock!"
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"Ginger retard! Asslicker dickface!"
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"Dude, you'd better watch it. The principal's right over there."
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"Oh, good morning, Principal Victoria."
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"- Shitballs! - Good morning, Eric."
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"Did Cartman just say "shitballs" to the principal?"
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"You didn't hear?"
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"Well Cartman has some mental disease called Tourette's Syndrome or something."
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"What?"
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"He's the luckiest kid in the world."
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"If I could say "shitballs" to the principal,"
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"I'd be so happy."
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"Excuse me, excuse me everyone, I guess you might have noticed my awkward tics."
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"I just want you to know that I can't control it."
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"with my good friend Kyle? Asscheeks!"
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"Kyle, apparently you missed the school assembly yesterday,"
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"Don't you see how awesome this is?"
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"- Who cares about saying whatever you-- - Of course, if you want to be"
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"and spoil my fun because you're jealous you didn't think of it first,"
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"- well go right ahead, Kyle. - Whatever."
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"Good morning, Mr. Mackey. Asspussy!"
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"I would be so happy."
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"Okay, so what do we get when we multiply a negative number--"
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"Dicktits!"
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"Shit! Asshole!"
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"If we apply what we've just learned, we see that all negatives can--"
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"Spooge balls bloody vaginal belch."
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"You guys, don't laugh. It makes me feel insecure about my illness."
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"- Tampon! Tampon dickshit! - Will you knock it off already?"
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"Kyle, don't you think I wish I could?"
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"Kyle, watch your language!"
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"Principal Victoria, it's just that Eric has become such a distraction..."
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"I don't think I can teach my class anymore."
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"I understand it's been difficult, Mrs. Garrison and so..."
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"Mr. Donaldson has come from the Tourette's Tolerance"
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"and Understanding Foundation."
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"Hello, Mrs. Garrison-- Ass. Ass."
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"I want to help your class better understand this illness. Piss!"
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"- No! Up yours, fatboy! - Kyle, please! I'm sorry!"
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"Principal Victoria, there's something you need to know."
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"You think people with Tourette's are faking?"
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"No, I'm just saying that I think--"
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"Do you have any idea how horrible that is to say? Ass! Ass!"
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"We aren't faking, young man."
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"Trust me, nobody wants this illness, ass. Piss! Piss!"
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"That's right, Kyle. Crap-filled vagina!"
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"This is the kind of intolerance you teach"
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"at this school, Principal Victoria?"
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"No."
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"Kids, today during therapy class, we have a special visitor. Ass."
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"I wanted him to meet all of you so he could try to understand Tourette's."
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"Tourette's is like a cough or a sneeze."
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"A lot of people with Tourette's have different tics. My tic..."
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"is that I have to bend my neck and snap my fingers."
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"Aw, shit! Cock!"
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"I've learned I shouldn't be mad at myself."
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"You see? These kids can't control their actions."
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"Look, I was just suggesting that"
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"maybe this one person could control what he said,"
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"but just didn't, for fun."
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"Aw, shit!"
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"You wanna know about fun?"
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"Going to public places knowing you're going to make a fool of yourself."
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"My dad finally couldn't take it anymore."
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"He divorced my mom, said he'd still be around,"
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"Shit! Shit!"
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"The worst part is I know how lonely my mom is."
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"A lot of times I know she'd be better off if I was dead."
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"Your mom would not be better off if you were dead, Thomas."
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"Even if people like Kyle here think so."
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"Aw, come on!"
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"So then you apologize for what you said before?"
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"I was just trying to..."
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"Just in one instance..."
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"No. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
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"Well, Mr. and Ms. Broflovski, I think your son has learned a lot"
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"and he appears to be honestly remorseful"
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"Piss. Piss!"
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"Our son is a good kid."
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"Well, I think the only thing left now"
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"is for your son to apologize to his little classmate."
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"Well, Kyle?"
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"I'm sorry."
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"Oh, what was that? I couldn't quite make that out, Kyle."
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"- I'm sorry. - You're starry?"
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"I don't get what you mean by that, Kyle."
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"You're starry because I..."
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"I've learned to deal with intolerance. Dumbshit douchebag!"
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"And it means a lot that you're standing here apologizing"
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"Fat Jew! Jew bitch!"
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"- Oh, thank you, Eric. - Thank you. Big-nosed kike!"
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"Piss out my ass!"
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"Yeah. Piss out your ass right onto Kyle's mom's fat fucking Jew face!"
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"Oh goodness, excuse me. Jeez, that was a bad one."
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"Well, gotta run, everybody. Got some big things in the works."
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"Isn't having Tourette's awesome?"
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"Next week on Dateline NBC: It's a Dateline special report."
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