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Clips from Veep - The Vic Allen Dinner (S02E02)

"This is the situation room, ma'am, during the hostage mission."
Veep
"- We need to approve a photo for release. - Okay."
Veep
"Let's see."
Veep
"Oh, my God. Look at Ben."
Veep
"Look at the size of his coffee mug."
Veep
"Ooh, I look nice, though, huh?"
Veep
"You look concerned, but steely."
Veep
"Oh, there are not gonna be any veterans"
Veep
"at this teen prayer breakfast thing tomorrow, are there?"
Veep
"No, ma'am. No missing legs."
Veep
"Okay, here's all the details of the youth leaders"
Veep
"- that you're gonna be meeting. - Oh, man."
Veep
"I was."
Veep
"I mean, smoke some weed, for Christ's sake, right?"
Veep
"Ah, look at those cheeks."
Veep
"It's like two little clutch bags attached to his face."
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"Oh, my God, with the bags. It's always bags with you."
Veep
"- Sir. - Gentlemen."
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"Very excited about this new demographics study you're planning."
Veep
"It's comparable to the invention of the microscope."
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"We're all being hit by deadlines, right, Mike?"
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"Yes, sir. They can swing around and smack you like a boom."
Veep
"- Uh, yes, sir. An '87 Gulfstar 50. - Great cruiser."
Veep
"You know, like a cast-iron skillet or Kevin Bacon."
Veep
"That's real man's sailing."
Veep
"Leaning out in the tack, your big man balls dipping in the salty sea."
Veep
"You're right there, my friend, yeah."
Veep
"but she's my family."
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"You know, I once went powerboating on Lake Erie."
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"I need to go."
Veep
"You don't talk powerboating to us sailors, Dan."
Veep
"What's the fucking difference?"
Veep
"- - No. You have time to just sit there?"
Veep
"I'm sorry, what? Say that again."
Veep
"Jonah, out. Or else I'll see if my pepper spray works."
Veep
"- Morning, guys. - Morning."
Veep
"13,000. No, 14,500."
Veep
"Is this the amount of times you've admired yourself in the mirror today?"
Veep
"No, I'm guessing that's the difference in salary"
Veep
"between this job and the one that you just interviewed for."
Veep
"You think I had a job interview?"
Veep
"- How, Sherlock? - Simple makeup, higher neckline."
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"one of the lobbying shops on 18th."
Veep
"I love this stuff."
Veep
"to make sure you had the right address."
Veep
"Hey, is Danny Chung gonna be performing tonight?"
Veep
"Really? What's he gonna be doing?"
Veep
"in case we all forgot what a fucking war hero he is."
Veep
"- Yeah. - No, we have no official comment."
Veep
"No, that is not a non-comment."
Veep
"- How did this photo get out there? - What?"
Veep
"Can we delete it off the Internet, then?"
Veep
"No, I don't know what I'm talking about."
Veep
"What? What's going on here?"
Veep
"What? No, no. This isn't..."
Veep
"Amy, this isn't the photo that we approved."
Veep
"It looks like I'm tweeting when a guy loses his leg."
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"I'm stabbing him."
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"I don't want any witnesses in here. I'm not kidding."
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"- I'll start running the acid bath. - Yeah."
Veep
"No, just wondering if you think this sweater goes with the dress."
Veep
"- It's a bad look. - That's how he looks. That's his face."
Veep
"Why didn't you just take the good one of me, Photoshop it in?"
Veep
"I can't airbrush history, ma'am. I'm not Joseph Stalin."
Veep
"No, that's true. You're not."
Veep
"Okay, I'm just gonna go work on my Jim Marwood song."
Veep
"We can laugh at ourselves."
Veep
"Maybe you should do a funny bit about the photograph."
Veep
"- She was multitasking. - You need to get off the phone."
Veep
"Were you on top of this or what?"
Veep
"We were busy writing youth culture references"
Veep
"in a funny song about the Speaker."
Veep
"I don't even know what you just said."
Veep
"What are you laughing about, Jolly Green Jizzface?"
Veep
"- I was... sorry, ma'am. - God damn, why are you even here?"
Veep
"Oh, I came here to tell you that you're a meme, ma'am."
Veep
"I'm a meme ma'am? What are you talking about? Speak English, boy."
Veep
"Okay, yes. There are Photoshopped versions of this"
Veep
"springing up all over Twitter."
Veep
"- You at the Declaration of Independence... - Oh, my God."
Veep
"the 2004 tsunami."
Veep
"'cause you'd be checking the weather."
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"How do we stop this meme ma'am shit?"
Veep
"No, it's just a meme, ma'am. Not a meme ma'am."
Veep
"And usually they flame out after about 48 hours,"
Veep
"like Downfall or Gangnam."
Veep
"Yeah, okay. You've got to get out of here, okay?"
Veep
"Yes, absolutely, ma'am. Oh, and I will see you at the dinner tonight."
Veep
"Oh, my God, yeah."
Veep
"Ooh, your leg. Could you put...?"
Veep
"- The Speaker song is cut? - Yeah."
Veep
"- It was hilarious. - It was not that hilarious."
Veep
"You're out of your head, dude. That would have made people piss in their pants."
Veep
"- Kent? - Mm-hmm."
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"- You think? - Make fun of ourselves, that's what he said."
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"I kind of like that."
Veep
"I do, I kind of like that."
Veep
"Just stop the filibuster, buster."
Veep
"- That's good. - That's not a rhyme."
Veep
"You're just matching a word with the same word."
Veep
"Three words... Weird Al Yankovic."
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"You shut your mouth, okay?"
Veep
"Just... protect the endangered goose, Bruce."
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"- Yeah. - If the first one bombs,"
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"people are gonna be sitting out there thinking,"
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""Shit the bed, we got 49 more of these to go.""
Veep
"Help the oil lobby, Bobby. That's a good one."
Veep
"Let's follow Jonah."
Veep
"Why are we doing this?"
Veep
"Because it's pointless, like everything else that we do."
Veep
"You still pissed you can't get in with Kent?"
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"- He's a robot. - Yeah, that's the challenge, Mike."
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"There was this one girl, smart, who had no interest in me."
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"So it became my mission to sleep with her."
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"And did you?"
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"And that failure has haunted me to this very day."
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"In college there was only one girl that was interested in me."
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"And it turns out she was actually a lesbian."
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"Everyone is a little off."
Veep
"Mmm, and the stuff you're saying to Gary..."
Veep
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