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Clips from Broad City - Just the Tips (S04E04)

"- Yeah. - Yeah, so I'm dunking on it."
Broad City
"Wow! Slam dunk! Wet."
Broad City
"WOMAN: I mean, we started going out in college."
Broad City
"And we just started going in different directions, you know?"
Broad City
"It's been, like, three months since we had sex"
Broad City
"I just tried to have sex with him right now,"
Broad City
"and he pretended he was asleep."
Broad City
"It is 9:00 pm!"
Broad City
"Relationships are complicated. I mean, I know."
Broad City
"Tell him what you want. Tell him what you need."
Broad City
"That's what Mike and I do, and we're great."
Broad City
"I know."
Broad City
"So how long have you two been together?"
Broad City
"We've been together..."
Broad City
"Uh, six long..."
Broad City
"Well it but our connection is like super powerful."
Broad City
"for, like, three months, four months."
Broad City
"Or is it Iowa? Somewhere..."
Broad City
"Oh, my God. You're not in a relationship,"
Broad City
"you're literally sleeping with a stranger."
Broad City
"You won't even know for, like, years,"
Broad City
"And even then, he could end up being"
Broad City
"a completely different person than the guy he is right now."
Broad City
"You're such a fucking idiot."
Broad City
"I'm sorry. Oh, my God! Okay."
Broad City
"- (WOMAN CACKLING) - It's not that funny."
Broad City
"This zipper's stuck, we're gonna have to rip it."
Broad City
"- I know. - Perfect."
Broad City
"Yeah!"
Broad City
"It's 'cause I'm rich now."
Broad City
"- Oh, yeah? - Yeah."
Broad City
"Got a dope waiting job and I'm making serious bank."
Broad City
"I'm... Much more mature than when you last saw me."
Broad City
"- It looks like it. - Yes."
Broad City
"Could you close your eyes?"
Broad City
"All right. Closed."
Broad City
"Well, Steph seems really nice."
Broad City
"She is."
Broad City
"Yeah, she seems cool and..."
Broad City
"Pretty and I hope you guys are, um,"
Broad City
"making each other orgasm a lot."
Broad City
"and I hope you're getting what you want too."
Broad City
"What were you doing while they were closed?"
Broad City
"I'm gonna need to buy Damien a bottle of wine or something."
Broad City
"You're lucky you got out when you did, brother."
Broad City
"Yeah, what I just did when you closed your eyes made it worse."
Broad City
"Much, worse. It became a medical issue."
Broad City
"There's only one Ilana Wexler."
Broad City
"Um, someone recently told me"
Broad City
"I just wanna make sure you know"
Broad City
"it's me and not you."
Broad City
"What?"
Broad City
"unless you have something to say."
Broad City
"Oh..."
Broad City
"(PHONE BEEPS)"
Broad City
"How'd it go?"
Broad City
"I let him down easy."
Broad City
"- Good girl. - Yeah."
Broad City
"- Ow! - Hey!"
Broad City
"It's like they're leaving office all over again."
Broad City
"I know."
Broad City
"- I'm so sorry, Jaime. - It's okay."
Broad City
"- Ow! - I'm so sorry."
Broad City
"It's okay."
Broad City
"I don't have, um, a like-a tip metaphor"
Broad City
"- for me, personally, for today. - It's okay."
Broad City
"But I did realize, you know, maybe I'm not"
Broad City
"a relationship girl, you know?"
Broad City
"May be I'm not one, either."
Broad City
"Like, maybe I'm just figuring it all out."
Broad City
"Totally."
Broad City
"- (GRUNTING) - Fuck!"
Broad City
"These nails cost $480."
Broad City
"like, your spending."
Broad City
"Oh, you know how to spend!"
Broad City
"Okay."
Broad City
"She knows the Heimlich."
Broad City
"Yeah, come over here!"
Broad City
"That was unbelievable."
Broad City
"You can fit four people in here comfortably."
Broad City
"Mmm, I'm sorry."
Broad City
"(LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"But I did read that terrible New York Times headline"
Broad City
"I want you having this and not the owner."
Broad City
"White guilt"
Broad City
"White guilt"
Broad City
"(GRUNTS)"
Broad City
"Because I need a second opinion on a new leotard."
Broad City
"Come on, Ilana!"
Broad City
"Don't be a fucking homophobe."
Broad City
"and tell me if my boobs look good in this."
Broad City
"Text me later."
Broad City
"(GIGGLING) No, you! No, you."
Broad City
"sensitivity like normal, cut penises do."
Broad City
"The tip becomes calloused,"
Broad City
"of the pleasure experienced by intact men."
Broad City
"(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)"
Broad City
"Everybody can smell your pheromones"
Broad City
"Oh, but they do come in handy."
Broad City
"All right, the service in here is terrible."
Broad City
"Oh, that's great, okay."
Broad City
"How are you? Good to see you."
Broad City
"- (GLASS SHATTERS) - I'll come back for you."
Broad City
"Oh, hey."
Broad City
"Abbi, I just saw Lincoln and then I met his girlfriend"
Broad City
"I'm sorry I can't answer the phone,"
Broad City
"We're in a relationship. We're probably..."
Broad City
"In use!"
Broad City
"Hey, did you shit your leotard?"
Broad City
"Long... Days."
Broad City
"(LAUGHING) Well, okay."
Broad City
"Um... Berto?"
Broad City
"Uh, you know, Ilana, me and you, we had"
Broad City
"And that was fun but now, I'm"
Broad City
"Sorry you had to see me like this."
Broad City
"It's okay."
Broad City
"(LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"I lost the heartbeat!"
Broad City
"I think it is time for me to lose my tip too."
Broad City
"I'm so sorry too. It's a tough call."
Broad City
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