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Clips from Broad City - Just the Tips (S04E04)

"No, you hang up first."
Broad City
"- Mike? Hello? - (CAR HORN HONKING)"
Broad City
"Did somebody order a hot, rich cunt?"
Broad City
"Young moolah, baby!"
Broad City
"Whoo!"
Broad City
"(DISTANT MUSIC)"
Broad City
"Ooh, neck hair."
Broad City
"Ladies, major conundrum."
Broad City
"- What? - What?"
Broad City
"There is a hottie at this party that looks"
Broad City
"Oh, yes."
Broad City
"(CLAMORING)"
Broad City
"(WHISPERS) My penis."
Broad City
"I'm sorry?"
Broad City
"You know how I have a gorgeous, uncircumcised penis?"
Broad City
"How have I not told you about his gorgeous,"
Broad City
"You're not listening."
Broad City
"But I love it. I love it because"
Broad City
"- Oh, really? - Oh, yes."
Broad City
"Circumcision exposes the penile head"
Broad City
"decreasing sensitivity over time."
Broad City
"leaving cut penises with, like, five percent"
Broad City
"Pull backing, all damn day."
Broad City
"(WHISPERS) Every day."
Broad City
"Whoa. How do you know so much about this?"
Broad City
"- I am prone... - It's okay."
Broad City
"That's why I'm wearing this skirt."
Broad City
"- Oh... - But the thing is, like,"
Broad City
"I know I "look good," but I don't feel sexy."
Broad City
"So I've been thinking that maybe it's time for me"
Broad City
"to cut my pepito."
Broad City
"Should we drink?"
Broad City
"- Yes! - Yes!"
Broad City
"What's that behind your ear?"
Broad City
"One night off, get me off!"
Broad City
"(INHALES)"
Broad City
"That's the one, football game I watched."
Broad City
"God, you're cute as shit."
Broad City
"You wanna smash later?"
Broad City
"(SCOFFS)"
Broad City
"Waste of two minutes."
Broad City
"(CHUCKLES) No, it's all right."
Broad City
"But that's, like, the third dude"
Broad City
"- that's hit on me tonight. - Mmm, not surprised."
Broad City
"That's what happens when you're taken."
Broad City
"Gotta make my day off count. Work hard, play hard, baby."
Broad City
"Hold up."
Broad City
"Thanks very much."
Broad City
"Ow! Jesus!"
Broad City
"I'm really sorry. It was just the tips."
Broad City
"(BOTH LAUGH)"
Broad City
"Swear to God, train service and cell service"
Broad City
"has been terrible since we became a fascist state."
Broad City
"You know what? I'm gonna see if I can"
Broad City
"get service in another room."
Broad City
"(CAR HONKING)"
Broad City
"(WOMAN SOBBING)"
Broad City
"(GASPS) Jesus!"
Broad City
"No, I'm so sorry. I just, I heard you crying."
Broad City
"Uh, are you okay?"
Broad City
"(SNIFFLES) Um..."
Broad City
"Sorry, I don't usually, I just was getting service."
Broad City
"I'm kind of having a tough time."
Broad City
"(SNIFFLES)"
Broad City
"Well, actually, my husband and I..."
Broad City
"Are having a tough time."
Broad City
"And I really"
Broad City
"How long have you guys been together?"
Broad City
"Show me just one. I'll show you both."
Broad City
"- I'll show you right now. - Ilana, what's good?"
Broad City
"Damien! Hey, what's up?"
Broad City
"- What are you doing here? - What're you talking about?"
Broad City
"It's my party. I invited you."
Broad City
"- Yes. - Yeah."
Broad City
"- Right. - Right, yeah."
Broad City
"Hold on one second."
Broad City
"- I'm just gonna grab this. - Okay."
Broad City
"- Well, hello. - Hey."
Broad City
"How are you? You look great."
Broad City
"You look good too."
Broad City
"- Woman. - Mmm."
Broad City
"Oh... (STOMACH RUMBLES)"
Broad City
"No..."
Broad City
"Oh, no..."
Broad City
"(STOMACH RUMBLES) Oh!"
Broad City
"Catch up with you later."
Broad City
"pelvic-floor-Ioosening, socially lethal combination"
Broad City
"of cheese, champagne, and cocaine."
Broad City
"I need some working fingers in the bathroom pronto"
Broad City
"before I Edward Scissors-ass my ass."
Broad City
"(WHIMPERS)"
Broad City
"VOICEMAIL: Hey, this is Abbi."
Broad City
"Okay. Thanks for nothing."
Broad City
"- (SCREAMS) - (KNOCK ON DOOR)"
Broad City
"Oh, hey."
Broad City
"No."
Broad City
"How'd you know?"
Broad City
"I know that face anywhere."
Broad City
"That face is saying, "I'm shitting my leotard.""
Broad City
"- Mmm-mmm. - It's just distinct."
Broad City
"- That's a big... Clue. - It's just a smell."
Broad City
"I do appreciate you checking in,"
Broad City
"So thank you for, um..."
Broad City
"(BOTH CHUCKLING)"
Broad City
"(HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHING)"
Broad City
"I... I said, I'm open to the idea of circumcision."
Broad City
"- Okay. - You know, Damien,"
Broad City
"I just love the full sensitivity to my penis."
Broad City
"- Of course. - An orgasm for me"
Broad City
"- Really? - Yeah!"
Broad City
"(GRUNTS) that's broken up just for me."
Broad City
"That's how a normal orgasm feels for you?"
Broad City
"It's like the world crumbles beneath my feet"
Broad City
"and when I open my eyes the universe is reborn."
Broad City
"You know what I mean?"
Broad City
"- Kinda. - Yeah?"
Broad City
"Yeah. Uh..."
Broad City
"When I orgasm it's kinda like..."
Broad City
"Okay, you know the little basketball hoops"
Broad City
"that are in the kiddie pool for the kids?"
Broad City
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