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Clips from Peep Show - Kid Farm (S09E09)

"Oh, fuck!"
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"Apparently, the net has run out of web space"
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"Do you think he might be taking advantage of you"
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"because you're mentally subnormal and have a brain the size of a pea?"
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"This track is my Citizen Kane."
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"The lyrics you want to claim credit for,"
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""ATOL protected, ATOL protected"?"
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"Yes! Those are my words."
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"'Inspired...'"
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"I remember because I was reading"
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"the small print on a plane ticket when I came up with them."
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"Copied them. Discovered them."
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"It was your plane ticket."
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"You went into a rant about the Civil Aviation Authority"
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"and how ATOL protection wasn't something to make light of."
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"You've cracked the case."
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"You're not thinking of getting back with Sophie?"
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"A bit of a depressing backward step?"
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"Maybe that's just life,"
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"until finally you settle for a life"
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"that would have mortified you 20 years ago"
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"It's the journey of life, like"
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"Radio 1, Radio 2, Classic FM,"
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"Mm. Yeah."
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""My recollection, so far as it goes, is that Jeremy did indeed"
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""make a significant contribution to the lyrics in question,"
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""ie the words 'ATOL protected'.""
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"Hi, Hans. I've brought you a panettone."
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"Sweet. What is it?"
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"Sort of like dry, old Italian cake."
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"is that Jeremy... Look, Jez, you were there. Fine."
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"You contributed to engendering a vibe,"
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"out of which emerged my lyric."
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"I wrote it."
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"I know I wrote those lyrics, cos I keep 'em"
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"in my lyrics file. You can't remember jack shit,"
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"because you're a crackhead"
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"with a brain made of Swiss cheese. No, mate."
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"Molly won't even let me live-stream the Spurs."
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"We're going to come for you in the night."
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"Look, calm down, will ya?"
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"Wanker!"
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"'Yeah, fuck off, Hans."
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"'You're the fifth Beatle."
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"'I'm the other four.'"
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"I've got to get to the Kid Kave."
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"Hans's file! The proof!"
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"'Below-average IQ.'"
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"It's like cracking Enigma, isn't it,"
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"OK, I'm here to borrow a brolly."
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"Here we go."
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"Apple grievances, Lemmy...lyrics."
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"Nothing?! Nothing at all?!"
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"Right, fuck him."
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"HE CHUCKLES"
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"Ohh... Ooh!"
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"Someone who is expecting cornflakes"
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"Boom! That is inconvenient!"
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"and put his bank card in the freezer."
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"You start swapping the CDs into the wrong cases."
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"Wait!"
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"Watch this. 'Oh, Jesus. I'm a backup burglar."
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"'I'm a burglar's PA.'"
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"No, Jeremy, really?"
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"Goldfish in the Shreddies?"
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"Is that your budget version of a horse's head in the bed?"
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"Well, for God's sake leave the snake alone."
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"'And the IQ testing is complete.'"
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"If I could go back in time,"
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"maybe I wouldn't have split up with Sophie in the first place."
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"the Ziggurat of Ur... God!"
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"I think I'd probably go back to the '50s."
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"seeing a civilisation that's unimaginably different."
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"So am I. Thick, thick shakes,"
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"But Socrates? If you went for 14AD,"
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"Nyah."
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"If not the '50s, then the '60s."
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"I'm talking about seeing them in their prime, drinking Coke out of a bottle."
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"Jesus."
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"I mean, God, net them up,"
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"Oh, it looks fun! You can have a cappuccino while they play."
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"Better than the fucking park, mate."
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"So, Sophie - are you going to pull on the iron underpants,"
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"tie your knob to the Bosch and just run yourself over with the Morphy Richards?"
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"It's a real three-piper."
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"Claustrophobic, depressing,"
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"mouldering resentment. Corrigan classic."
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"The old familiar. Mark?"
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"Wow, my son."
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"Hi, Ian!"
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"How are you doing, little fella?"
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"Hey there, little guy! High-five! 'Ugh, the high-five."
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"So, what are you thinking, cowboy? The big offer? Happy families?"
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"You know what? Let's do it."
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"I think it could work, maybe, in some weird way?"
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"I think maybe it might. Do you think we'll be unhappy?"
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"Very. Put it there, partner."
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"'What this phlegm has put together, let no man break asunder.'"
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"Duncan wants to have a drink, the total shit."
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"And I need to phone Dad, tell him about you. He's going to piss blood!"
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"Ha... Er, OK..."
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"Want to cry and be sick at the same time, do you? No! I-I'm excited."
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"It's... It's exciting."
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"'The first of the million lies"
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"See you later!"
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"Ian's in the fun pit working the plastics."
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"He's being detained at capitalism's pleasure."
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"You, my friend, are a stone-cold maniac."
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"What the fuck is that?"
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"In where? I don't know what you're talking about."
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"Your bag just moved! What have you..."
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"OK, I needed a little...margin,"
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"snake."
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"You brought a snake to a children's play centre?"
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"Oh, Mark, don't make this into a thing."
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"Is it venomous?"
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"Probably not. I picked it up with an oven glove,"
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"but it didn't look venomous."
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"It didn't "look" venomous?"
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"It looked perfectly chilled out when I put it in the bag."
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