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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Tenure Turbulence (S06E06)

"I was reading about this jellyfish that never dies."
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"from his Jamaican caregiver proved us all wrong."
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"My point is, immortality is not"
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"I'd be okay with that."
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"Turns out it was Tupperman."
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"is asking that everyone donate a bottle of Febreze."
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"we can rejoice in the knowledge"
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"Excuse me, the whole tenure system is ridiculous."
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"A guaranteed job for life"
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"Well, I believe people do their best work"
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"when they feel safe and secure."
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"And if I can't get tenure,"
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"Raj, don't dangle false hope"
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"♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪"
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"While I disagree with the premise of tenure,"
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"Can't turn this off."
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"Well put."
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"It would be nice to have the increased income."
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"Stop taking money from my parents."
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"You have no idea."
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"They buy me a new BMW for my birthday"
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"Oh, very. (chuckles)"
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"Thank you."
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"Oh, Janine Davis."
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"I'm not sure; it could go either way."
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"Good for you. Eh."
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"Not that you need it."
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"You push start."
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"Got it. (chuckles)"
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"There."
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"Oh, yeah!"
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"Hey, speaking..."
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"throwing my hat in the..."
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"...ring."
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"Yeah."
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"Hey, Hofstadter."
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"ever."
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"(panting): Go... away."
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"Janine the Machine, let's do this!"
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"Well, look at that."
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"Burned a whole calorie."
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"Oh, if you... if you like banana bread..."
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"I'll e-mail it to you."
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"(computer chiming)"
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"Oh, come on."
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"KOOTHRAPPALI: Born in New Delhi,"
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"which later turned out to be the moon."
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"God, they're everywhere."
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"(sighs) Come in."
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"Fun for the whole family."
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"You are black, right?"
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"Where have you been?"
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"to Professor Tupperman's memorial?"
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"You better have a good excuse this time,"
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"is obvious nonsense."
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"I can only raise your stock as a candidate."
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"I was hoping to go without anyone finding out."
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"that's nice, but it-it's just gonna be"
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"(clears her throat)"
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"Oh, yeah. No. Thanks, that would"
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"be great help."
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"All the other scientists have seat warmers."
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"Looks like we're both going to be living like animals."
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"Okay."
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"Sad."
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"Bad."
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"Fine. Bad."
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"Unbelievable."
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"just to schmooze with the tenure committee."
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"or whatever his name is."
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"I guess the train store in Glendale"
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"I'd like to know why Penny's here."
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"She plans on flirting with members of the tenure committee"
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"(laughs)"
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"Like, how are they staying up like that?"
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"that my girlfriend has no sexuality to exploit?"
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"Sheldon!"
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"What?"
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"You could talk some smack about his mother."
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"Well, yes, of course, he wouldn't like that at all."
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"when I happened to come across your mother."
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"LEONARD: Okay, okay."
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"but I was about to insinuate"
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"but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure."
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"Walk!"
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"whether you'll make any more friends."
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"DAVIS: I could not ask you to do that."
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"Nonsense. Children "wove" me."
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"You... Wait. Hold on."
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"Mrs. Davis?"
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"I saw your car in the parking lot."
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"to be on the short list for tenure."
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"I don't know what you mean by "quirks," but, um..."
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"Instead, it reverts to its asexual state"
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"and then grows up again."
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"We thought my 90-year-old grandfather had reverted"
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"to an asexual state, but the lawsuit"
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"only a possibility, it is real."
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"Only if you're this jellyfish which periodically"
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"reverts to a mass of undifferentiated protoplasm."
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"If I could keep my Gmail account,"
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"Remember when we were trying to figure out what that smell"
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"coming from Professor Tupperman's office was?"
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"Yeah?"
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"Dead at his desk for two weeks."
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"In lieu of flowers, the department chair"
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"If we're going to change the topic from jellyfish,"
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"I'd be okay with brine shrimp"
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"or the history of the unicycle."
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"Show a little compassion-- a man died."
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"And turned into a puddle of goo."
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"Now, we can either"
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"sit around and cry over spilt professor, or..."
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"that a tenured position has just opened up."
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"I choose to do"
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"the latter."
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"only encourages the faculty to become complacent."
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"to advance, people should have"
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"chips implanted in their skulls"
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"(imitates explosion)"
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