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Clips from Key and Peele - Obama College Years (S02E02)

"No, Joseph, let her come onstage."
Key and Peele
"- Oh! Oh! - Let her come-- No, Joseph."
Key and Peele
"If I win this competition, I could put a roof over my house."
Key and Peele
"'cause I got a house ain't got no roof. For real, though."
Key and Peele
"Joseph..."
Key and Peele
"Just one little thing, though."
Key and Peele
"Don't do it, Joseph."
Key and Peele
"- It was a loud bridge. - Don't finish that sen--"
Key and Peele
"I got hearing damage in this ear."
Key and Peele
"- Joseph! - And also in this ear."
Key and Peele
"Joseph!"
Key and Peele
"The bridge had-- had trucks go over it."
Key and Peele
"- Joseph. - 'cause the bridge--"
Key and Peele
"- Keep it. - 15-ton--"
Key and Peele
"Hold it."
Key and Peele
"Put it in your mouth. And get off my stage."
Key and Peele
"Ra-- rated six."
Key and Peele
"- Joe... - That's a big truck."
Key and Peele
"...seph. Okay, Joseph, please."
Key and Peele
"And who is this?"
Key and Peele
"Oh, who is this right here?"
Key and Peele
"This is my 12-year-old daughter, who I raised all by myself"
Key and Peele
"without the help of anybody else in the entire world."
Key and Peele
"She is my inspiration."
Key and Peele
"Joseph, it doesn't matter."
Key and Peele
"There's nothing you can do or say"
Key and Peele
"that's going to make us change our minds today."
Key and Peele
"That right there, that right there, that's her daughter."
Key and Peele
"She blind. Come on."
Key and Peele
"(gasps)"
Key and Peele
"So I raised them both by myself without nobody else's help."
Key and Peele
"Come get your ticket to Vegas."
Key and Peele
"Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!"
Key and Peele
"- Vegas! - Can you believe it?"
Key and Peele
"I'm getting goosies over here. I'm getting goosies. I-I am."
Key and Peele
"(soul music)"
Key and Peele
"- You're an athletic guy. - I do like to--"
Key and Peele
"I like to, uh, dabble in the athleticals."
Key and Peele
"You were-- I mean... (laughter)"
Key and Peele
""athleticals." What the [bleep] is--"
Key and Peele
"(English accent) played a little football in my day."
Key and Peele
"Do not play Scrabble with this guy."
Key and Peele
"- He will just make [bleep] up. - Yeah."
Key and Peele
"The athleticals. I also hurdle, or hurdled."
Key and Peele
"- Oh, you got the hurdle on? - Yup, yup."
Key and Peele
"You know the hurdle le-- I was teaching the hurdle."
Key and Peele
"- Yeah, yeah. - It's all about the lead leg."
Key and Peele
"- Lead leg. - Okay, now, now, now..."
Key and Peele
"- Too much energ-- - Lead leg, lead leg."
Key and Peele
"- No, too much energy. - And then you got-- you got..."
Key and Peele
"- Trail leg, trail leg. - Oh, boy."
Key and Peele
"Because a hurdle's not a jump. Hurdle is not jumping."
Key and Peele
"- No more. - Hurdling is--"
Key and Peele
"It's exaggerated walking. It's not jumping."
Key and Peele
"You get the lead leg going, and then-- (grunts) trail leg."
Key and Peele
"You gotta pull it over. (cheers and applause)"
Key and Peele
"- All right. - Lead leg."
Key and Peele
"Check this out."
Key and Peele
"You really only wanna take three steps."
Key and Peele
"One, two, three, and jump. One, two, three, lead leg."
Key and Peele
"All right, check this out. Check this out. Check this out."
Key and Peele
"(laughter)"
Key and Peele
"What a mind-blowing finish to an incredible game tonight,"
Key and Peele
"with Charlie Sanders winning the game"
Key and Peele
"in literally the last second."
Key and Peele
"Unbelievable, Truly spectacular."
Key and Peele
"Charlie Sanders, how does it feel?"
Key and Peele
"Hey, yo, I wanna say somethin' to everybody watchin'."
Key and Peele
"Yo, you can do anything! Anything's possible!"
Key and Peele
"The world is yours!"
Key and Peele
"And Charlie, did you think that that game"
Key and Peele
"was gonna end that way tonight?"
Key and Peele
"Yo, there are no limits, all right?"
Key and Peele
"You can swim across the Atlantic."
Key and Peele
"You can jump real high and touch the Moon!"
Key and Peele
"Fantastic. Charlie Sanders, Fresh off of his, uh, victory."
Key and Peele
"I just feel like he's ready to touch the Moon."
Key and Peele
"I can fly! Anybody can fly!"
Key and Peele
"If you believe in yourself"
Key and Peele
"the way I believe in myself tonight,"
Key and Peele
"you will fly!"
Key and Peele
"And what's next for Charlie Sanders and the orange--"
Key and Peele
"Kids, you can actually fly!"
Key and Peele
"No-- No, not-- oh, not literally, of course."
Key and Peele
"Yes! Literally! Kids!"
Key and Peele
"Young kids, I want you to go up on your roofs right now!"
Key and Peele
"- Wait, what? - Fly into the night sky!"
Key and Peele
"- Okay. - People will see you flying!"
Key and Peele
"And then you can do anything! You can do anything!"
Key and Peele
"Okay, well, we-- we-- we-- we just want to remind the kids"
Key and Peele
"that of course, you cannot actually fly, kids."
Key and Peele
"Yo, screw that negativity, man!"
Key and Peele
"Hey, boys and girls, ages 8 through 12!"
Key and Peele
"Yo, don't let nobody ever tell you what you can and cannot do!"
Key and Peele
"All the preteen children out there, listen to my voice!"
Key and Peele
"You are immortal!"
Key and Peele
"Okay, well, obviously, we understand that Charlie..."
Key and Peele
"- (groaning, shouting) - is super excited right now,"
Key and Peele
"and that no one is actually immortal, nobody at all."
Key and Peele
"Hey, kids!"
Key and Peele
"You can turn yourself into a car"
Key and Peele
"and have a friend drive you onto the freeway!"
Key and Peele
"Okay, no-- Well, that's just a metaphor, kids."
Key and Peele
"- It's not! - Just a metaphor--"
Key and Peele
"You still have the power of childish innocence!"
Key and Peele
"Get a friend on your back,"
Key and Peele
"and make a beeline for the next ramp to the freeway, y'all!"
Key and Peele
"- Okay, don't do any-- - To the freeway!"
Key and Peele
"He's speaking figuratively, folks."
Key and Peele
"Once you get there, ain't nothing figurative about this!"
Key and Peele
"You will turn into a robot!"
Key and Peele
"First and foremost, I just want to say"
Key and Peele
"to all the families who lost children, I'm sorry."
Key and Peele
"My statements were irresponsible."
Key and Peele
"I have subsequently looked up"
Key and Peele
"the terms "literally" and "metaphorically,""
Key and Peele
"and found that whereas I was not incorrect,"
Key and Peele
"they did not mean what I thought they meant."
Key and Peele
"(applause)"
Key and Peele
"But-- And that-- You know another thing I love?"
Key and Peele
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