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Clips from Key and Peele - Obama College Years (S02E02)

"Oh, lordy, lordy, lordy! We sorry, boss!"
Key and Peele
"Oh, we so sorry!"
Key and Peele
"Please don't give us the whip."
Key and Peele
"Okay, nobody's gonna whip anybody, just stop it."
Key and Peele
"Yeah, just stop it."
Key and Peele
"All right, fellas, just-- just ignore 'em."
Key and Peele
"All right?"
Key and Peele
"Now, we're here to preserve our way of life."
Key and Peele
"- The South has a right to own-- - (both) ♪ Oh, my Lord, Lord"
Key and Peele
"The South has a way of life--"
Key and Peele
"- (both) ♪ Oh, my Lord - The Union cannot stop us fr--"
Key and Peele
"(both) ♪ Oh, my Lord, Lord"
Key and Peele
"♪ Oh, my Lord..."
Key and Peele
"The Union Yankee bastards cannot stop us--"
Key and Peele
"♪ Oh, Lord!"
Key and Peele
"All right, stop it! Stop it! That's enough!"
Key and Peele
"You wanna be part of this reenactment?"
Key and Peele
"Fine. You're part of it."
Key and Peele
"Go-- Go fetch us some munitions and everything else that--"
Key and Peele
"Don't just stand there like a bunch of lazy [bleep]."
Key and Peele
"- That good enough for you? - That is all I needed to hear."
Key and Peele
"Gentlemen, give us your cash"
Key and Peele
"and anything that is an actual collector's item."
Key and Peele
"You racist mother[bleep]."
Key and Peele
"Okay. Don't have all day, man."
Key and Peele
"Okay, thank you. Thank you."
Key and Peele
"Wallets, wallets, wallets, wallets."
Key and Peele
"That's a very nice piece."
Key and Peele
"These are heavy."
Key and Peele
"(party noise, chatter)"
Key and Peele
"Apartheid is totally gnarly. It's a gnarly institution."
Key and Peele
"Where is the-- Dennis, Den--"
Key and Peele
"There we-- Come here. Get this, get this."
Key and Peele
"Okay, we-- we gotta have a system in place to get everybody weed."
Key and Peele
"All right? So just watch-- This is how you're gonna do it."
Key and Peele
"All right, this-- this is--"
Key and Peele
"I'm really [bleep] frosty right now, by the way."
Key and Peele
"This is your Constitution, all right?"
Key and Peele
"It's just a piece of paper."
Key and Peele
"We gotta keep its integrity,"
Key and Peele
"'cause it's gonna hold everything together."
Key and Peele
"This right here..."
Key and Peele
"This is us. This is the American people."
Key and Peele
"We're special. We're magic. Whoa, yay, we all live in here."
Key and Peele
"All right, the most important thing"
Key and Peele
"is that we don't get too far apart."
Key and Peele
"Me and you, we-- we gotta be close."
Key and Peele
"that's--that's the magic of America is love."
Key and Peele
"Otherwise, you're gonna get air bubbles in there."
Key and Peele
"It's gonna start canoeing and everything."
Key and Peele
"We don't want that, All right? You get that?"
Key and Peele
"All right, look."
Key and Peele
"I'm way ahead of you, bro. I'm already done."
Key and Peele
"Boom, fireworks. Fourth of July. That's for you."
Key and Peele
"We want like a ton of these."
Key and Peele
"Oh, my God, I'm so [bleep] blazed."
Key and Peele
"I'm so [bleep] high."
Key and Peele
"Oh, [bleep]. What was I saying?"
Key and Peele
"(soul music)"
Key and Peele
"Well, I just want to talk about, real quick--"
Key and Peele
"I just want to talk about the fact"
Key and Peele
"that reality shows-- they always have to have a British judge."
Key and Peele
"Yes. Yes!"
Key and Peele
"What the [bleep] is that about?"
Key and Peele
"Why? Why--"
Key and Peele
"are we so obsessed with the Revolutionary War"
Key and Peele
"That we need a fobbish Brit judging us every fu--"
Key and Peele
"to tell us what's right and wrong?"
Key and Peele
"What the [bleep] is that?"
Key and Peele
"I mean, that's a lo-- Hundreds."
Key and Peele
"We're talking about the 18th century."
Key and Peele
"Looking down their no-- We won that war!"
Key and Peele
"- Why are they-- Why are they here? - (laughs)"
Key and Peele
"Why do they own all of our television shows?"
Key and Peele
"I know, I know."
Key and Peele
"And-- and-- and I know-- I know that there's--"
Key and Peele
"there's gotta be at least one woman in this room"
Key and Peele
"who had sex with a British guy because of the way he talks."
Key and Peele
"Is that-- Are you out-- She's right in front of us."
Key and Peele
"She's right--"
Key and Peele
"She ma-- You ma-- There he is, he's right there!"
Key and Peele
"It's happening right here! But I mean..."
Key and Peele
"I don't see any British teeth in this situation."
Key and Peele
"They just-- They look great. (audience "ohs")"
Key and Peele
"They look great. They look great!"
Key and Peele
"(electronic music)"
Key and Peele
"We met B-Boy Joseph in Atlanta, G.A."
Key and Peele
"Hi, Joseph."
Key and Peele
"(British accent) All right. Yeah."
Key and Peele
"Start the music."
Key and Peele
"(hip-hop music)"
Key and Peele
"♪"
Key and Peele
"Has he started yet?"
Key and Peele
"I think-- I'm pretty sure this is it."
Key and Peele
"♪"
Key and Peele
"Thank you."
Key and Peele
"- Yeah, thank you. - I ain't done yet, though."
Key and Peele
"- Thank you, Joseph."
Key and Peele
"It's--it's definitely a no for me."
Key and Peele
"It's a no. I'm sorry."
Key and Peele
"No."
Key and Peele
"All right. Thank you, Joseph."
Key and Peele
"Guys, you-- you know,"
Key and Peele
"I ain't got no formal trainin' or nothin' like that."
Key and Peele
"I live on the streets."
Key and Peele
"That was very apparent, as it turns out, Joseph."
Key and Peele
"Thank you for coming."
Key and Peele
"Y-You know that my mama's on drugs, and my daddy in jail."
Key and Peele
"It's not-- not really relevant."
Key and Peele
"Born in a coffee can under a bridge."
Key and Peele
"That's terrible, Joseph."
Key and Peele
"That's-- That's awful, but it's not going to--"
Key and Peele
"My sister shot my brother while my cousin beat my uncle."
Key and Peele
"- Now it's a lie. - It's a little bit much."
Key and Peele
"Joseph, thank you very much, but--"
Key and Peele
"Put myself through school"
Key and Peele
"by renting my body out as a heroin suitcase."
Key and Peele
"- All right, I see what's going on. - Wow."
Key and Peele
"Joseph, please, we--we do have other dancers here today,"
Key and Peele
"who are waiting their turn very politely."
Key and Peele
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