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Clips from NewsRadio - Ploy (S05E05)

That is, um-- That's a thank-you note for my wedding gift.

"That is, um-- That's a thank-you note for my wedding gift."

NewsRadio

It's an electric infant.

"It's an electric infant."

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Right.

"Right."

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'Cause the little guy's got some serious suction.

"'Cause the little guy's got some serious suction."

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Thank you. Good luck with it.

"Thank you. Good luck with it."

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There's an opening in the cafeteria. Fingers crossed.

"There's an opening in the cafeteria. Fingers crossed."

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Max, this is a letter of resignation.

"Max, this is a letter of resignation."

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Oh, sorry.

"Oh, sorry."

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Oh, I'm afraid I am. Effective immediately.

"Oh, I'm afraid I am. Effective immediately."

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A new season was upon us.

"A new season was upon us."

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My feet are talking too.

"My feet are talking too."

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And they're saying, "Max, stay with us."

"And they're saying, "Max, stay with us.""

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Wow, I'm impressed.

"Wow, I'm impressed."

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Oh, oh, right, right.

"Oh, oh, right, right."

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Beth was a fragile flower. Now she's a steel magnolia.

"Beth was a fragile flower. Now she's a steel magnolia."

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Lisa went from potential spinsterhood to wedded bliss.

"Lisa went from potential spinsterhood to wedded bliss."

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Splendid.

"Splendid."

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Well, don't think some name change

"Well, don't think some name change"

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Thank you, Matthew.

"Thank you, Matthew."

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I know. But what a difference one word can make.

"I know. But what a difference one word can make."

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Is there a snowflake? Wet.

"Is there a snowflake? Wet."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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You sure you wanna leave today, Maxie?

"You sure you wanna leave today, Maxie?"

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Oh, she thinks this is just some game I'm playing

"Oh, she thinks this is just some game I'm playing"

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No, thanks, Max. Maybe, uh-- Maybe some other time.

"No, thanks, Max. Maybe, uh-- Maybe some other time."

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I wasn't a-aware of that, sir. Yeah.

"I wasn't a-aware of that, sir. Yeah."

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Do you know that he-- He solved Matthew's weight problem?

"Do you know that he-- He solved Matthew's weight problem?"

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I mean, as far as I'm concerned,

"I mean, as far as I'm concerned,"

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Facts cited by Matthew Brock are not necessarily facts.

"Facts cited by Matthew Brock are not necessarily facts."

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That was The Brock Report .

"That was The Brock Report ."

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you deserved a real pretty first name

"you deserved a real pretty first name"

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I like Lisa. Oh, come on. We're friends.

"I like Lisa. Oh, come on. We're friends."

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Don't cover for me. I'm not covering. I like it.

"Don't cover for me. I'm not covering. I like it."

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for people with beautiful first names.

"for people with beautiful first names."

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I mean, I should know.

"I mean, I should know."

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Matthew.

"Matthew."

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In the happy 20 percent, though, are my two special cats.

"In the happy 20 percent, though, are my two special cats."

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Choo-Choo Bone Wagon and Mitt-Mitt St. Clair.

"Choo-Choo Bone Wagon and Mitt-Mitt St. Clair."

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Didn't mean

"Didn't mean"

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Oh, sure.

"Oh, sure."

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Dave and I would like to, you know, take one more try

"Dave and I would like to, you know, take one more try"

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[FLATLY] Yeah. Max, don't leave.

"[FLATLY] Yeah. Max, don't leave."

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Well, gentlemen, although tempting,

"Well, gentlemen, although tempting,"

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nothing on this Earth or moon could persuade me to stay.

"nothing on this Earth or moon could persuade me to stay."

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I won't get in anybody's way. Okay, all right.

"I won't get in anybody's way. Okay, all right."

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It was just a ploy

"It was just a ploy"

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to get Beth to go out with me.

"to get Beth to go out with me."

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All right. All right. You take him.

"All right. All right. You take him."

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[CRYING]: I'm so lonely.

"[CRYING]: I'm so lonely."

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[CRIES]

"[CRIES]"

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So you quit your job

"So you quit your job"

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Beth, she's easy.

"Beth, she's easy."

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For me, she's untouchable.

"For me, she's untouchable."

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Now, come on, Dave.

"Now, come on, Dave."

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Help me get out of it. Come on.

"Help me get out of it. Come on."

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I can't. Then Beth would know I was faking it.

"I can't. Then Beth would know I was faking it."

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You go out there and pretend to pack up all your stuff.

"You go out there and pretend to pack up all your stuff."

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and I want you to beg him to stay, all right?

"and I want you to beg him to stay, all right?"

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I thought you were the boss of them.

"I thought you were the boss of them."

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I am the boss of them.

"I am the boss of them."

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his pride for the good of them.

"his pride for the good of them."

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Why don't you go out and beg Max to stay?

"Why don't you go out and beg Max to stay?"

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[LAUGHS]

"[LAUGHS]"

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Ball of string. Button collection.

"Ball of string. Button collection."

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Another ball of string.

"Another ball of string."

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Oh, good, Max, you're still here.

"Oh, good, Max, you're still here."

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[WHINE]

"[WHINE]"

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Max, please don't leave.

"Max, please don't leave."

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What? Trust me.

"What? Trust me."

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[SIGHS]

"[SIGHS]"

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Take your hands off me, sir.

"Take your hands off me, sir."

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I said I was leaving, and that's final.

"I said I was leaving, and that's final."

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Get the A, the A.

"Get the A, the A."

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'Kay.

"'Kay."

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to make anagrams out of your new name.

"to make anagrams out of your new name."

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Look, when the letters in Lisa Miller-Johnson

"Look, when the letters in Lisa Miller-Johnson"

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Join Lamros in Hell?

"Join Lamros in Hell?"

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That's a good one.

"That's a good one."

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See what happens when you mess around

"See what happens when you mess around"

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"with your brand name?"

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Everybody, everybody trusted it.

"Everybody, everybody trusted it."

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But, uh, you know, that that break dancing fad hit

"But, uh, you know, that that break dancing fad hit"

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Try to stay hip and everything like that.

"Try to stay hip and everything like that."

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Yeah, that's right.

"Yeah, that's right."

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I made a huge mistake.

"I made a huge mistake."

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[CRIES]

"[CRIES]"

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I didn't.

"I didn't."

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I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry."

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But I had to make it look real for Beth.

"But I had to make it look real for Beth."

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And then I'll say,

"And then I'll say,"

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Then you're gonna say-- No.

"Then you're gonna say-- No."

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[SIGHS]

"[SIGHS]"

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You know, Max,

"You know, Max,"

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I, huh...

"I, huh..."

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when you're being so irritating.

"when you're being so irritating."

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Don't ask me to explain it.

"Don't ask me to explain it."

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[GIGGLES]

"[GIGGLES]"

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Well, while you were flipflopping

"Well, while you were flipflopping"

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I'm sorry, but your Lisa Miller time is over.

"I'm sorry, but your Lisa Miller time is over."

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Now you're free to be Svetlana Monsoon

"Now you're free to be Svetlana Monsoon"

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It's a fallback career, heh.

"It's a fallback career, heh."

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See?

"See?"

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gonna start reading your contracts?

"gonna start reading your contracts?"

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I can return that.

"I can return that."

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I couldn't leave you behind, my treasure.

"I couldn't leave you behind, my treasure."

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What?

"What?"

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I don't wanna ever see that again.

"I don't wanna ever see that again."

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Why would you do that, Max?

"Why would you do that, Max?"

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I thought you were into me.

"I thought you were into me."

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But now that you're back,

"But now that you're back,"

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Go get them, tiger, heh.

"Go get them, tiger, heh."

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Tsk, well, Max.

"Tsk, well, Max."

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And I got some.

"And I got some."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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Matthew, here you go.

"Matthew, here you go."

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Ooh, Valentine's.

"Ooh, Valentine's."

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No. Uh, Valentine's Day was two months ago.

"No. Uh, Valentine's Day was two months ago."

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Oh. Do thank-you notes have candy in them?

"Oh. Do thank-you notes have candy in them?"

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Yours does. Excellent.

"Yours does. Excellent."

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Joe. Did you open up my present yet?

"Joe. Did you open up my present yet?"

NewsRadio

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