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Clips from New Girl - Re-launch (S02E02)

"You bring the heat, not a threat in the looks department."
New Girl
"- I get that actually. - Only you can make those fruity drinks..."
New Girl
"...that used to make girls lose their minds in college."
New Girl
"I'll do it, but I'm not making those drinks."
New Girl
"Come on, Nick, you have a gift."
New Girl
"Why you trying to hide your light under a bushel?"
New Girl
"Because, sure, I could get a girl topless, no bra..."
New Girl
"...with one hollowed-out papaya, some crushed ice and two fingers of rum."
New Girl
"But then I grew up."
New Girl
"Now I only wanna make a drink that a coal miner would want."
New Girl
"Straightforward. Honest."
New Girl
"Something that says, "I work in a hole." I'm especially not making those drinks for you."
New Girl
"- What? Why? - You can't handle it."
New Girl
"- You drink too fast, you get weird. - Come on. That was years ago."
New Girl
"I'm a changed man. Look at me. I'm wearing a suit."
New Girl
"A suit? They put that on Morgan Freeman when they let him out of Shawshank."
New Girl
"[DOOR CLOSES]"
New Girl
"Hi."
New Girl
"I got laid off."
New Girl
"- What? Are you serious? - My God. What happened?"
New Girl
"Obama."
New Girl
"It's possible I'm still in shock."
New Girl
"I'm gonna go to my room and process what just happened."
New Girl
"Thank you for your attention."
New Girl
"- Ah, this is not good. Now she's gonna cry. - I hate when she cries."
New Girl
"Face gets all red and puffy. Makes me sick."
New Girl
"We gotta fix this right now. Let's go, we gotta do something."
New Girl
"- I don't want her to... - We allow this to happen. We don't fix it."
New Girl
"JESS: Here's how this is going to go. - Hi."
New Girl
"You will not pity me. No pity eyes."
New Girl
"Schmidt, stop looking at me like I'm a fat kid riding a bike."
New Girl
"It's just a job. I'll get a new one."
New Girl
"You're gonna get so many jobs."
New Girl
"So I just want you to go about your day and act normal."
New Girl
"Okay?"
New Girl
"What's wrong with your eyes, Nick?"
New Girl
"Stop blinking. Why are you doing that?"
New Girl
"I just think they fired the wrong girl, kid."
New Girl
"For sure."
New Girl
"- Stop. Nick. - What's that?"
New Girl
"JESS: What's wrong with you? - You wigging?"
New Girl
"- Act normal. - If that's what you want."
New Girl
"- That is what I want. - That's what you'll get."
New Girl
"JESS: Where are you going, Schmidt? SCHMIDT: All right."
New Girl
"Bye."
New Girl
"- Hey, hey. - Hey."
New Girl
"- How you doing, kid? - Great."
New Girl
"My boobs are loving this unemployed thing."
New Girl
"They don't have to go to boob jail every day. Ha, ha, ha."
New Girl
"The job hunt is on."
New Girl
"This hospital website says I can earn up to $700."
New Girl
"- Are you sure you're okay? - For the thousandth time, yes."
New Girl
"I know you've been waiting all week for me to break down, but I'm fine."
New Girl
"- Just be normal. - I'm being normal."
New Girl
"- You're crossing your legs. - I always do this."
New Girl
"You've never crossed your legs in your life."
New Girl
"- I didn't even know you were that flexible. - Well..."
New Girl
"- Stop being nice to me. - I'm not normally nice to you, Jess?"
New Girl
"No. You're mean."
New Girl
"Like a crazy old man."
New Girl
"When did gum get so fancy?"
New Girl
"This escalator goes too fast.""
New Girl
"[IN NORMAL VOICE] Be mean."
New Girl
"Look sharp, you dumb-ass."
New Girl
"Sorry, that was in my head a little bit, that didn't... Look sharp, you dumb-ass."
New Girl
"- Heh-heh. - No. Tighten up."
New Girl
"- Ha, ha. Terrible. - I don't have it, I don't know what it is."
New Girl
"Can you believe that the zoo won't let me borrow their white tiger? I mean, the nerve."
New Girl
"I'm gonna be at the party, Phillip Seymour Hoffman's gonna be like:"
New Girl
"Schmidt, you need a tiger, I need a job."
New Girl
"- Hire me. Here. - No. No, I'm not gonna..."
New Girl
"- Schmidt. - What are you...?"
New Girl
"Hire me. I am a people person. I'm great at parties."
New Girl
"I can make any kind of balloon animal as long as it's a worm or a snake."
New Girl
"- No, Jess. - Come on."
New Girl
"- Help a brother out. - Jess, you just got laid off, okay?"
New Girl
"I can't have an emotionally vulnerable person on my crew. Tonight..."
New Girl
"...is about one man's functioning penis. - I wouldn't say functioning."
New Girl
"I saw what you did to the toilet seat, and I'm not unstable. I just need a job."
New Girl
"Okay, fine. You know what, Jess, fine, you can be my other shot girl."
New Girl
"NICK: Shot girl? No, you can't be a shot girl. - Why not?"
New Girl
"Because you don't have that specific hotness that shames men..."
New Girl
"...into spending $9 on a $2 shot. She doesn't have it."
New Girl
"- Are you saying I'm not hot? - No, no, no, I'm not..."
New Girl
"- You're hot, you're hot. JESS: Nick."
New Girl
"I'm saying you're the nurse I wanna wake up to after having my stomach pumped."
New Girl
"You know what I mean? It's a different kind of hot. Still hot."
New Girl
"I'm gonna be a great shot girl, Nick."
New Girl
"I pour liquids into cups every single day."
New Girl
"On top of that, two years of tap and jazz."
New Girl
"Please, I feel you over-thinking this."
New Girl
"I'm gonna be the best shot girl in the world. Cheers."
New Girl
"NICK: Cheers. Heh-heh. JESS: Getting my costume."
New Girl
"[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]"
New Girl
"JESS: Hi, big boy, what's your poison?"
New Girl
"NICK: Oh. - What?"
New Girl
"Yeah. Interesting choices."
New Girl
"That's a great hat. Can I have it?"
New Girl
"I decided that tonight, my name is Ivy."
New Girl
"[IN BREATHY VOICE] And I'm studying to be an actress."
New Girl
"Do you have another outfit in your car?"
New Girl
"Schmidt. Just the guy I was looking for. So the theme of the party..."
New Girl
"Is danger. That's right. But it's on a level that you couldn't possibly understand."
New Girl
"- Okay. - Jess, where is the other shot girl?"
New Girl
"[IN NORMAL VOICE] I don't know. - Here I am."
New Girl
"Casey. Thank you for joining us. Great."
New Girl
"Here's where it's at: I don't work with amateurs. I don't split tips."
New Girl
"Things get freaky, I'm out. I'm a little diabetic, I don't need the hassle."
New Girl
"And also, I do accept payment in the form of whip-its..."
New Girl
"...because I've got a PhD."
New Girl
"- How old are you? - Twenty-six."
New Girl
"Thank you for your honesty."
New Girl
"We like to party We like to party"
New Girl
"Oh, yeah. Who's up? Okay, you jerk, come here. Stupid jerk."
New Girl
"Anybody want me to wet their whistle?"
New Girl
"We like to party We like to party"
New Girl
"It's working. Look at all these beautiful ladies."
New Girl
"This is the beginning. I can take this to the next level whenever."
New Girl
"You know why? Because I got something up my sleeve."
New Girl
"Schmidt, please, nothing up your sleeve. It never works."
New Girl
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