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Clips from Please Like Me - Scroggin (S02E02)

There's too many opinions these days, Josh.

"There's too many opinions these days, Josh."

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I mean, it's fine if they want to have opinions.

"I mean, it's fine if they want to have opinions."

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And I do have opinions, by the way.

"And I do have opinions, by the way."

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Maybe you've just never heard them.

"Maybe you've just never heard them."

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Okay. Well, let's play a game

"Okay. Well, let's play a game"

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and you have to have an opinion on it.

"and you have to have an opinion on it."

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Okay? So, Mother, what's your opinion on "Australian Idol"?

"Okay? So, Mother, what's your opinion on "Australian Idol"?"

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The judges are too mean.

"The judges are too mean."

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Okay. In the first two seasons but then they became, like, sickly nice.

"Okay. In the first two seasons but then they became, like, sickly nice."

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I knew you didn't really want my opinion.

"I knew you didn't really want my opinion."

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God?

"God?"

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I don't like it

"I don't like it"

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when you go around telling people that He doesn't exist.

"when you go around telling people that He doesn't exist."

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- But He doesn't exist. - Why do you bother them?

"- But He doesn't exist. - Why do you bother them?"

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that God sent AIDS to kill gays.

"that God sent AIDS to kill gays."

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I hate-I just-I think I'm allowed to rebut that.

"I hate-I just-I think I'm allowed to rebut that."

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Well, that guy sounds like an idiot.

"Well, that guy sounds like an idiot."

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Okay.

"Okay."

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It's not very efficient.

"It's not very efficient."

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It doesn't just kill gays.

"It doesn't just kill gays."

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No, it kills a lot of Africans

"No, it kills a lot of Africans"

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Also I don't understand, like,

"Also I don't understand, like,"

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It took God six days to make the universe

"It took God six days to make the universe"

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and that long to come up with AIDS?

"and that long to come up with AIDS?"

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Like, what was it about the '80s?

"Like, what was it about the '80s?"

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Think he saw George Michael and was, like,

"Think he saw George Michael and was, like,"

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"No! This shit has gone far enough. AIDS!"

""No! This shit has gone far enough. AIDS!""

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- Yeah. - Jesus was fine with gays.

"- Yeah. - Jesus was fine with gays."

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I've never washed a foot.

"I've never washed a foot."

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Is that what you think we do? You think we wash feet?

"Is that what you think we do? You think we wash feet?"

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- I don't have any swimmers. - It doesn't matter.

"- I don't have any swimmers. - It doesn't matter."

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Nope. Don't want to.

"Nope. Don't want to."

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I want to have a nice time.

"I want to have a nice time."

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just 'cause you wanted me to do them.

"just 'cause you wanted me to do them."

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I don't know how to want to do a thing I don't want to do.

"I don't know how to want to do a thing I don't want to do."

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You told me not to do that.

"You told me not to do that."

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It's fuckin' freezing.

"It's fuckin' freezing."

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Yeah, I said, right?

"Yeah, I said, right?"

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- Shut up. - I said, "It's freezing."

"- Shut up. - I said, "It's freezing.""

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Okay.

"Okay."

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What's up?

"What's up?"

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There's a snake, Joshie, there's a snake.

"There's a snake, Joshie, there's a snake."

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- Where? - My God.

"- Where? - My God."

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Good. Good.

"Good. Good."

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Well, how am I gonna get back?

"Well, how am I gonna get back?"

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No, I can't do that.

"No, I can't do that."

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Joshie, can you come and get me, please?

"Joshie, can you come and get me, please?"

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How will that help?

"How will that help?"

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I can't do it on my own. Come on, please.

"I can't do it on my own. Come on, please."

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Well, what do I do?

"Well, what do I do?"

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No!

"No!"

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Go away.

"Go away."

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jump and stomp or something.

"jump and stomp or something."

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Geez. It's in the water.

"Geez. It's in the water."

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Snake, snake!

"Snake, snake!"

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Yeah, sure. I learned it in scouts.

"Yeah, sure. I learned it in scouts."

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Plus, there isn't a fuckin' one.

"Plus, there isn't a fuckin' one."

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All right, okay. The snake's scared.

"All right, okay. The snake's scared."

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Fucking do it.

"Fucking do it."

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All right.

"All right."

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No, I'm too scared. I'm too scared.

"No, I'm too scared. I'm too scared."

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You're my hero.

"You're my hero."

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I don't understand how you never got angry with me.

"I don't understand how you never got angry with me."

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I'm so angry with Ginger.

"I'm so angry with Ginger."

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Do you wish I was angry?

"Do you wish I was angry?"

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I just want to understand

"I just want to understand"

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I just try and understand when you do things like this

"I just try and understand when you do things like this"

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that you're doing them because you're ill

"that you're doing them because you're ill"

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That's sort of unfeeling.

"That's sort of unfeeling."

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to get my attention but also I promise my anger

"to get my attention but also I promise my anger"

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I wasn't trying to get your attention.

"I wasn't trying to get your attention."

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That really surprised me.

"That really surprised me."

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What were you trying to do, then?

"What were you trying to do, then?"

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I was trying to kill myself.

"I was trying to kill myself."

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I can't use attention if I'm dead, can I?

"I can't use attention if I'm dead, can I?"

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The third time, you tried to kill yourself,

"The third time, you tried to kill yourself,"

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there was, like, a day where we didn't know

"there was, like, a day where we didn't know"

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if your stomach had been pumped in time.

"if your stomach had been pumped in time."

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If it had been pumped in time,

"If it had been pumped in time,"

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But if it hadn't,

"But if it hadn't,"

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you were gonna die slowly over two weeks.

"you were gonna die slowly over two weeks."

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But then, when I found out you were fine,

"But then, when I found out you were fine,"

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then I got angry.

"then I got angry."

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That was an angry day for me.

"That was an angry day for me."

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then I get angry then, which I know is harsh

"then I get angry then, which I know is harsh"

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because that's your disease.

"because that's your disease."

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but if we keep excusing it because it's your disease,

"but if we keep excusing it because it's your disease,"

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No, I have tried to get better.

"No, I have tried to get better."

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I brought a little surprise.

"I brought a little surprise."

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- Is that marijuana? - Yes, I always wanted to try it.

"- Is that marijuana? - Yes, I always wanted to try it."

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Tom. He rolled it for me too.

"Tom. He rolled it for me too."

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It's all right, lovey, I don't mind.

"It's all right, lovey, I don't mind."

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No, I don't.

"No, I don't."

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We have rations.

"We have rations."

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Ha. Extra chocolate.

"Ha. Extra chocolate."

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I don't know how that's gonna mix with your medications.

"I don't know how that's gonna mix with your medications."

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I am trying to build a fuckin' bonding moment here.

"I am trying to build a fuckin' bonding moment here."

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What?

"What?"

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Nothing, it's nothing.

"Nothing, it's nothing."

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Here, don't hog it. Don't hog it.

"Here, don't hog it. Don't hog it."

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So when do I start feeling high?

"So when do I start feeling high?"

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That's good.

"That's good."

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It's good.

"It's good."

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I'm having fun. This is really fun.

"I'm having fun. This is really fun."

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Peer pressured into doing drugs by my mum.

"Peer pressured into doing drugs by my mum."

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Why did you and Patrick split up?

"Why did you and Patrick split up?"

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But you really liked him.

"But you really liked him."

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It was good.

"It was good."

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Yeah, I know.

"Yeah, I know."

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from Patrick's point of view.

"from Patrick's point of view."

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Well, it's hard to imagine you having sex.

"Well, it's hard to imagine you having sex."

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Yeah, good. You shouldn't be imagining it.

"Yeah, good. You shouldn't be imagining it."

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Because, you're bad at interacting with people

"Because, you're bad at interacting with people"

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Suddenly, she has opinions. Lots of opinions.

"Suddenly, she has opinions. Lots of opinions."

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and seeking approval.

"and seeking approval."

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I don't do those things when I'm having sex.

"I don't do those things when I'm having sex."

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Don't be such a baby.

"Don't be such a baby."

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You're a fuckin' baby.

"You're a fuckin' baby."

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It's our last day tomorrow.

"It's our last day tomorrow."

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Yeah, and we didn't see a Tasmanian devil

"Yeah, and we didn't see a Tasmanian devil"

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