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Clips from Community (2009) - Accounting for Lawyers (S02E02)

"With this group, I'm watching."
Community (2009)
"Four words."
Community (2009)
""Alan got Jeff disbarred." Uh..."
Community (2009)
"Those junkies weren't thinking about rules when they were shooting up scag."
Community (2009)
"But he's, like, way too primo for that, Frank Zappa."
Community (2009)
"I think he turned you in to the state bar."
Community (2009)
"I was in NA and he bragged about it."
Community (2009)
"He doesn't recognize me because my hair's longer, my skin's clearer"
Community (2009)
"He said he turned me in?"
Community (2009)
"He said he sent an e-mail that got a rival co-worker fired"
Community (2009)
"around the time you got caught."
Community (2009)
"They never covered this on Yo Gabba Gabba,"
Community (2009)
"but that's circumstantial. Any other meaningless conspiracy theories?"
Community (2009)
"Yes. Did you know that Go-Gurt is just yogurt?"
Community (2009)
"Know what a therapist calls this kind of relationship?"
Community (2009)
"A gold mine. Codependent."
Community (2009)
"You guys don't want me to be happy. You want me to need you."
Community (2009)
"It's getting claustrophobic."
Community (2009)
"I used to run full-speed through the boundless wilderness"
Community (2009)
"and now I'm in the zoo"
Community (2009)
"where the horizon is wallpaper and the air is stale"
Community (2009)
"and nothing is ever at stake."
Community (2009)
"In other words, we're not cool. I never said that."
Community (2009)
"But I never said it. See you at the pop-and-Iock-a-thon?"
Community (2009)
"No, Abed, I'm going to a cool party at my cool former law firm"
Community (2009)
"from when my life was cool."
Community (2009)
"Fine, you can be on the team."
Community (2009)
"New deal. If we win, I get to be in the study group."
Community (2009)
"The stakes have never been higher."
Community (2009)
"Just want to thank everybody for coming."
Community (2009)
"You know, when I became a lawyer, I had a dream."
Community (2009)
"I had a dream that one day I'd be head of a firm"
Community (2009)
"so nobody would be able to talk about the big, weird hole in my hand."
Community (2009)
"Everybody talks about it behind my back. That's okay."
Community (2009)
"You know, I would."
Community (2009)
"What's great, though, is that you don't stare or ask any questions."
Community (2009)
"There. That ought to keep you going till Christmas."
Community (2009)
"Everybody have fun tonight."
Community (2009)
"Anyone else with that hand would wear a glove."
Community (2009)
"He controls a room with it. He's the master."
Community (2009)
"Oh, um... Hey, when you talk to him, will you mention me?"
Community (2009)
"He keeps passing me over for partner."
Community (2009)
"God, I miss this place."
Community (2009)
"God, it's a sea of Wingers."
Community (2009)
"This whole place reeks of moral ambiguity."
Community (2009)
"Actually, that was me. I apologize."
Community (2009)
"Now, you guys are new to high society,"
Community (2009)
"First, why are you here? Second, I don't care. Leave."
Community (2009)
"As a matter of fact, Jeff, we were invited."
Community (2009)
"Why would anyone do that? Hey, you guys made it."
Community (2009)
"Come on in."
Community (2009)
"To apologize to you for casting aspersions on your friend."
Community (2009)
"- And to show you we can be cool. - Hey, is that Jeff Winger?"
Community (2009)
"Find Annie and leave."
Community (2009)
"Ted. Hey, man. What's going on?"
Community (2009)
"Wow, hey."
Community (2009)
"Once Annie gets Alan's office number, you break into his office."
Community (2009)
"Hack into his e-mails and find proof that he screwed Jeff over."
Community (2009)
"Fourth floor, 470."
Community (2009)
"First he said it was 69. I wanna rub Purell on my brain."
Community (2009)
"You are so missed here."
Community (2009)
"If we had five guys with your balls, we wouldn't need 30 lawyers."
Community (2009)
"True, but we'd need a good doctor."
Community (2009)
"Ted, stop hitting on my date. Ha, ha, ha."
Community (2009)
"I'm kidding. We can share. Ha, ha, ha."
Community (2009)
"I get the head. I love the brain in there. Ow, ow, ow. I'll eat it."
Community (2009)
"- Hey, everybody, Jeff Winger's here. - Hey."
Community (2009)
"Should we notify someone"
Community (2009)
"that our team is not gonna make it to the pop-and-Iock-a-thon?"
Community (2009)
"You actually think anybody cares?"
Community (2009)
"Okay. And where's the rest of your team?"
Community (2009)
"They'll be here. You're allowed to start by yourself."
Community (2009)
"But you won't stand a chance without someone..."
Community (2009)
"They'll be here."
Community (2009)
"I brought stuff people use for capers."
Community (2009)
"Suction cup. Credit card."
Community (2009)
"Chloroform. The credit card doesn't work, the chloroform does."
Community (2009)
"Annie, go back and keep lookout. Why me, lookout? Why not you guys?"
Community (2009)
"If someone comes up, Kanye and Kumar get taken to jail."
Community (2009)
"You get taken to dinner."
Community (2009)
"You guys, I'm the smartest one in this whole group"
Community (2009)
"and all I've been used for is bait and distraction."
Community (2009)
"Ugh! Go on your stupid mission. I hope it sucks."
Community (2009)
"What did she say? I don't know."
Community (2009)
"All I heard was "suck.""
Community (2009)
"I'm surprised Alan hasn't made partner."
Community (2009)
"I'm surprised I haven't fired him. Why?"
Community (2009)
"He's got a better win record than I do."
Community (2009)
"If you can look me in the eye and tell me you actually like Alan,"
Community (2009)
"Well, I only ever really liked one person."
Community (2009)
"My mom. And she liked my dad."
Community (2009)
"And after all the dust and the custody was settled, the guy I really admired..."
Community (2009)
"Not liked, admired."
Community (2009)
"- Was the lawyer leaving the courthouse"
Community (2009)
"in the great-Iooking suit and a sky-blue Mercedes SLK."
Community (2009)
"Sweet ride. Sweet job. Sweet life."
Community (2009)
"He didn't care. He couldn't care."
Community (2009)
"And the less he cared, the better he was."
Community (2009)
"We are a special breed"
Community (2009)
"because we rise above the sloppy stuff and look at the bottom line."
Community (2009)
"You wanna like your employees? Open a hair salon."
Community (2009)
"You wanna win? Make Alan partner."
Community (2009)
"The student has become the master."
Community (2009)
"Thank you, Jeff. You make me wanna be a worse man."
Community (2009)
"doesn't mean you can't work. Be a consultant."
Community (2009)
"Ted, that would be amazing."
Community (2009)
"I'll be right back."
Community (2009)
"Hey, Jeff, I'm sure you know Philip."
Community (2009)
"Did you know that if I sleep with Philip once a month,"
Community (2009)
"I can use his beach house in Rio whenever I want?"
Community (2009)
"Wow, you guys are really onto something."
Community (2009)
"I think you've found the world's newest profession."
Community (2009)
"Don't sue a stripper. Why not?"
Community (2009)
"She's a stripper. Life sued her and she lost."
Community (2009)
"Where's Pierce? Jeez, why am I even worried about him?"
Community (2009)
"Hey. Did you know there's an island in Indonesia where you can hunt people?"
Community (2009)
"We need to talk."
Community (2009)
"I think this is it. Print it."
Community (2009)
"- Nice. - Excuse me."
Community (2009)
"Who are you guys? This is not your office."
Community (2009)
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