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Clips from Married with Children - The Harder They Fall (S03E03)

"MAN [ON TV]: ...where glamour meets Dame Fortune."
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"at "The Luckiest Man on Earth" party,"
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"Of course, Mom's was a little different."
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"Yeah."
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"No, I just wanted to remind you"
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"that tomorrow's the big day,"
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"Daddy, I was 8."
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"Oh, no, I'm not going to sit here"
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"Well, Dad, if you remember,"
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""Absolutely no parties involving pajamas, music,"
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"You can't hold me to that. I thought I'd be dead by now."
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"Well, the joke's on you, Dad."
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"is that you're having a pajama party."
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"Girls, here? In pajamas?"
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"Bud, please,"
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"Eat toe rot."
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"I like to think I can roam around it"
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"It's for sex, Al."
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"Oh, no. Is it 1989 already?"
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"It's not really little, it's 200 a night."
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"is let the plumber in to fix the sink."
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"Marcy, it's so easy, a chimp could do it."
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"AL: Have a nice time."
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"Have a safe trip. Don't worry about a thing."
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"They're gone."
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"I got the key. Let's loot their house."
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"You said it, Al."
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"I want to, you know, say hello,"
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"Spell it."
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"Nude toes, sheer to the tummy,"
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"and, uh, some tampons?"
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"Here are the keys."
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"Oh, and if you get thirsty,"
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"Oh, like I wouldn't have found it myself?"
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"Men: Herd 'Em up, Kill 'Em All."
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"Then you can, you know,"
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"What do you mean, gone?"
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"like I was between two pieces of bread."
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"They're home early."
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"I'd love to talk to you,"
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"but I know you're all tired out from your trip and all,"
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"so why don't you just turn in,"
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"Tell us about your trip first."
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"You want to hear about our trip?"
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"First, they lost our luggage,"
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"and asked for Steve's Roadhouse."
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"I dreamt I was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz."
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"Did Al give you a t-shirt to sleep in?"
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"and everything else they could strap to their backs"
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"So except for our actual house,"
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"Good night, honey."
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"They're here!"
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"Guess who's pregnant?"
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"They live in the empty lot next door."
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"Shut up and pleasure me."
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"Your daughter"
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"so we came here."
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"They couldn't have waited a minute longer?"
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"except promises"
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"Let's just all go to sleep"
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"This is horrible."
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"What a loser."
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"She couldn't turn a boy on with a switch."
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"Oh, hi, Charlene."
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"God, I hate her."
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"Just a little reminder."
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"When you get tired of the endless drone"
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"You and the rest of the world, babe."
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"Tee-hee, Kel."
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"There were a few messages for you."
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"He said tomorrow night"
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"Oh, well."
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"I'm dating Greg."
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"Let's see."
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"Trollop."
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"but we'll get it back, angel cups."
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"And, love, thy name is Marcy."
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"The warmth of your arms is my hearth."
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"And your lips are my doorways to heaven."
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"Good girl."
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"[***]"
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"Here we are"
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"and look, isn't that Joe Piscopo at poolside."
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"Al, have you seen my ashtray?"
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"Oh, there it is."
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"Yeah, I thought the beer tasted like your hamburgers."
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"It's an old family recipe."
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"She chewed tobacco."
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"Yeah, I remember her lemonade."
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"Mom, Dad, I love you."
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"Ah, Jesus."
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"No. I already took some. Thanks."
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"so thanks for letting me have my pajama party."
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"Oh, no, you're not having a pajama party."
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"I'm still getting flashbacks from your last one you had."
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"Mommy, thanks for letting me"
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"have my pajama party."
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"You're welcome."
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"and let you two make my decisions for me."
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"That's how we had Bud."
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"Now, you promised"
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"It's right here in black and white."
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"You signed it when I was 8."
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""or shaving Daddy's head while he sleeps,"
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""until you're 16."
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"Signed, your father, God help me, Al Bundy.""
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"No. Actually, the joke's on me."
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"But not very often."
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"Hey, Kel."
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"Word through the peephole in the girls' shower room"
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"Is this true?"
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"your pimple is squirting me."
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"Mom, please, it's girls only."
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"Can't you send him somewhere,"
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"like Steve and Marcy's,"
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"the zoo, the feed tank at Marineland?"
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"you will stay in your room,"
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"which means you'll be in your room."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"Oh, come on, Bud."
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