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Clips from Veep - Omaha (S06E06)

"I don't get it."
Veep
"- What delivery? - Mom, I saw your big interview."
Veep
"Yeah, I know. Wasn't I just so great?"
Veep
"It was just really nice to see you out there again..."
Veep
"- .. you know, not just... - Sure."
Veep
".. sitting in the house"
Veep
"- in your bathrobe with Gary. - Yeah. We played backgammon."
Veep
"- Or at the institution... - At the spa. I was at the spa."
Veep
"- Spa. - The spa. Right."
Veep
"Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Veep
"- Sure, darling. - Well, I..."
Veep
"I just wanted to give you your check for this month."
Veep
"Ma'am, the Apollo was a soft pass."
Veep
"Okay, can I have a moment with my daughter?"
Veep
"- Yep. - Catherine, honey,"
Veep
"a lot of the staff has been complaining"
Veep
"'cause they feel kind of cramped"
Veep
"and they're not in Midtown."
Veep
"But I think that will require a little bit more cash."
Veep
"Okay, you know what? If you want to talk about the money thing..."
Veep
"- Both: With Marjorie. - Great. Thank you."
Veep
"Marjorie, when Mother died"
Veep
"and she gave Catherine all of her money..."
Veep
"You've been over your budget the last few months."
Veep
"- Okay. - You know, there's an old Chippewa saying,"
Veep
"- The 'coyotay' always howls... - You know what?"
Veep
"I'm not that interested in what the coyotay has to say"
Veep
"- Thank you. - Richard: Ma'am, me again."
Veep
"The secretary's name is Jennicker."
Veep
"- ( scoffs ) - Better sign me up for some food stamps."
Veep
"Maybe look into an application."
Veep
"There he is. My golden boy."
Veep
"- Danny, you're killing it. - Dan. It's... yeah."
Veep
"Look, between you and me, the network's gonna name you"
Veep
"Jane's permanent cohost on Friday, so..."
Veep
"Do you know what's wrong with that salad?"
Veep
"- Uh, no. - Figure it out."
Veep
"Yeah, I guess I should've told you."
Veep
"She got rid of her last three cohosts."
Veep
"- Wait, what? - Yeah, probably wrecked their careers, too."
Veep
"( chatter )"
Veep
"I have an idea that I think is really gonna impress the network."
Veep
"Have you ever heard of Congressman Jonah Ryan from New Hampshire?"
Veep
"Great interview. Charming guy."
Veep
"I can get him on the phone right now."
Veep
"- Oh, really? What? - They want you to pick an artist"
Veep
"for your official presidential portrait."
Veep
"Well, I'd rather still be president."
Veep
"- Yeah, that's true. - You know what?"
Veep
"and made her look like not a twat."
Veep
"- Uh-huh. - I mean, that was real artistry."
Veep
"- Hey, where's... hey, Richard? - Yes, ma'am?"
Veep
"We have the National Auto Dealers for 100,000."
Veep
"You've gotta be kidding me."
Veep
"That's half of what Hughes gets."
Veep
"That is pure sexism."
Veep
"- Yes, ma'am. - And tell them I'll stand at a glass podium"
Veep
"and wear a short skirt."
Veep
"- What about Omaha? - They won't give us a private jet."
Veep
"And you said not to touch anything without a private jet."
Veep
"- I know. - Plus, they won't cover Andrew's fee."
Veep
"- What? What's Andrew's fee? - ( door opens )"
Veep
"- It's my fee. - Gary: Oh, God."
Veep
"Omaha is small potatoes, zero gravy."
Veep
"I know some guys in Abu Dhabi"
Veep
"who are looking for a license to import sand."
Veep
"No, I want Omaha."
Veep
"Hey, Andrew, I don't care"
Veep
"if it's a punch in my big, hairy dick."
Veep
"- Okay? Go! - Yep."
Veep
"( sighs ) What? What is your fee?"
Veep
"- It's akin to a finder's fee. - What do you find?"
Veep
"Besides the most beautiful woman in the world?"
Veep
"- Oh, God. ( laughs ) - ( sighs ) Oh, God."
Veep
"- ( groaning ) - So sappy."
Veep
"We found a video of a woman who says she did cocaine"
Veep
"with Governor Steptoe's wife in college."
Veep
"- Wow. - Hey, Purple Mountain's Majesty,"
Veep
"we need to put together an attack ad"
Veep
"yester-the-fuck-day, so give me five options"
Veep
"from party girl to coke whore for cock, you know?"
Veep
"Oh, you know what?"
Veep
"I actually went to high school with Kristin Steptoe"
Veep
"and she's a lovely gal, so..."
Veep
"My guess is if you gave her a rail to snort off your dick,"
Veep
"she would let you fuck the hole in her septum."
Veep
"Oh, boy. Look, um,"
Veep
"I think I'm gonna have to put my foot down on this"
Veep
"- No, I like that. - Yeah, so."
Veep
"And my foot is down on that."
Veep
"- Great. - Okay, great."
Veep
"Just do cock whore."
Veep
"Gary: Madame is up 950 points."
Veep
"- Nice! - No, no, no! Uh-uh."
Veep
"You don't wanna do that."
Veep
"See? You put these here..."
Veep
"- Uh-huh. - And here."
Veep
"You see how that's better for you?"
Veep
"- So much better. Yeah. - Do you actually understand that?"
Veep
"Very much so. Thank you."
Veep
"- 'Cause honestly... - ( door buzzes )"
Veep
"- Richard. - Oh. Hi, Gary."
Veep
"Is that Richard?"
Veep
"- Excuse me. - Richard, come in."
Veep
"Hey, what's going on with Omaha, by the way?"
Veep
"Oh, yes. Walter Pallenberg's jet is unavailable"
Veep
"because he's taking it on a fuck tour of South America."
Veep
"- Of course. - It's weird that his assistant told me that."
Veep
"- I'm sitting there. - Want something to eat?"
Veep
"Are you hungry? We've got a lot of food here."
Veep
"Oh! Marjorie, hi. We're in here."
Veep
"Come join the party."
Veep
"It's like Grand Central Station here, right?"
Veep
"- I know. - Good evening."
Veep
"You know what? Just move whatever."
Veep
"You know, we're actually... no, no!"
Veep
"- Now she's mad. - Hey, Marjorie,"
Veep
"sort of to balance out the AIDS."
Veep
"Something fun."
Veep
"I don't know what it is, but it sounds good."
Veep
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