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Clips from Married with Children - The Bald and the Beautiful (S03E03)

"Oh, come on, Al."
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"what the rest of my body is going through."
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"Pretty brazen when you're all satisfied,"
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"I was screaming"
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"You haven't yet."
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"[DOORBELL RINGS]"
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"The bank was crowded,"
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"I was on top of the world."
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"Then I found this on my desk."
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"Turn it over, Al."
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"What?"
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"who are going bald."
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"Now, why would somebody give me that to me?"
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"My reflection."
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"You're awfully cavalier about this, you know."
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"I know."
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"our wives won't want us anymore."
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"I happen to love my wife, Al."
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"Have you ever seen a bald guy flirt?"
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"Cool guys, one and all, Al."
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"Sure, joke if you will, but I love my hair."
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"Well, I will tell you this:"
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"If you bend over, you can signal the troops."
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"but how can I help you?"
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"that you have to buy something."
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"of an athlete in his prime."
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"It never goes away, does it?"
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"I'd still be on those Wheaties boxes"
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"But let me get you your change."
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"You've seen that guy play football?"
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"Here you go."
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"Thanks, handsome."
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"Hey, how you doing, Steve?"
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"Oh, time to feed and seed."
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"You want some?"
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"Oh, well,"
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"it'll turn up or it won't."
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"He's acting very strangely."
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"Last night we had sex,"
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"when we make love."
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"Peggy, I'm really worried."
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"Steve and I go to see an art film."
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"and all Steve kept saying was,"
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"Strange behavior in men"
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"You know, their favorite team loses,"
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"[DOGS BARKING]"
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"Insta Hair?"
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"You betcha."
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"You use this slime twice a day,"
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"wouldn't sell it to me until he tested me first."
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"My head burned too."
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"Bottoms up, Al."
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"Yeah."
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"Let them laugh, Al."
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"What do you mean?"
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"by the time his skin clears up,"
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"I mean, I was just getting used to being poor,"
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"Relax."
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"You know, it's gonna be so much fun at school tomorrow"
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"Dad, what am I gonna do?"
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"or am I gonna be like Mr. Rhoades?"
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"I hope that when you become a man,"
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"You know, it's amazing."
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"Sit down. I want to talk to you."
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"Look, Kel."
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"Mom, you don't mind"
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"Is Al home?"
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"Oh, hey, Steve."
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"These are our heads."
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"I've heard there's help available for guys like us,"
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"ALL: Hi, Murray."
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"brother Al and brother Steve."
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"to turn the meeting over to brother Lance."
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"Brother Herbert went to Hawaii and forgot to pack his hat."
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"as he dozed,"
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"How can we stop it?"
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"The point is the bald are more evolved,"
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"and I've been concealing my problem--"
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"I was ashamed..."
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"But you have given me the strength"
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"to be proud of my hairline,"
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"like thousands of other women have,"
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"Let's face it."
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"a bald head says, "good in bed.""
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"Brother Al."
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"Uh, sure, I'll share."
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"Let me share this little tidbit with you."
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"but looking at you guys, I've realized two things."
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"[SIGHS]"
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"Steve?"
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"I was just sitting here..."
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"That's it. That's the news."
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"Well, somebody doesn't."
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"is a great deal."
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"You were great, Al."
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"Leave me alone."
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"that if you practiced once in a while,"
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"you could actually get good at sex."
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"And, honey,"
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"you don't have to hit your head."
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"It's the one part I enjoy, Peg."
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"It keeps my mind off"
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"Yeah, well, take it from me,"
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"it's not going through much."
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"Why did I ever agree to this Tuesday-night sex?"
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"SPORTSCASTER: And that's it for Monday night football."
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"It isn't Tuesday, Peg."
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"You've done a bad thing. You must be punished."
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"Oh, Al, I just wanted it"
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"to be closer to your shower night."
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"[GRUMBLING]"
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"aren't you?"
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"Just because I scream"
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"does not mean I'm satisfied."
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"because my hair was caught in your watch."
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"I didn't wake you, did I?"
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"Aw."
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"Oh, I just had sex, Steve, what do you want?"
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"Look, I think I'm in trouble, Al."
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"I need help."
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