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Clips from Shameless - Pilot (S01E01)

"FRANK: Nobody's saying our neighborhood's the Garden of Eden."
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"Fiona, my rock, huge help, has all the best qualities of her mother..."
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"FRANK: Lip, smart as a whip. Straight‘s and the honor roll."
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"FRANK: Ian, industrious, conscientious, ambitious, incredible work ethic."
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"Carl... Um, I don't really know that much about Carl."
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"Fuck you, Pig!"
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"I'm filling in for Candi. I can cover the rest."
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"-Extra kraut on mine. IAN: Cheese on mine."
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"Hi. I'm here to help Karen study for her midterm."
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"okay-"
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"You'll have to take your shoes off."
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"Okay. Midget naked witch is bending over..."
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"I know. Science just turns me on."
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"If I stick this in the wash before I go, keep an eye on it?"
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"-Do it tomorrow. -It stinks in here."
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"FIONA: Five minutes. -Look at me."
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"Truly, honestly, one of the most heroic things I've ever seen. Did you see him?"
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"-Shut up, skank. -Watch your mouth."
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"Yeah, well...."
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"-Nice watch. -Thanks. Panerai."
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"Decked the bouncer at Purgatory to defend my honor."
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"Jimmy Cl»-? Well, Jesus, man, put it there. Respect."
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"Yeah, you'll be his third conviction. Third or fourth. Fourth, yeah."
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"After that much practice..."
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"Five years over an '87 Monte Carlo with 200,000 miles on the odometer."
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"-Already? LIP: Shut up."
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"Yeah, let me just take one last look at you while you're still alive. Ha-ha!"
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"Here."
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"What kind of company?"
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"Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Veronica. What's your pre-tax income?"
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"...Fiona and I were gonna knock him down and tag-team him."
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"VERONICA: Anytime you like it too. -I'll do it, all right."
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"...would you have looked at me twice?"
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"Ninety percent of the world's problems..."
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"You know, the first time that I saw you dancing..."
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"You know, normally I'm shy, so I told myself:"
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"I wouldn't put him near a carpet till his pants dry a bit."
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"He's never there when I get up."
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"[CHUCKLING]"
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"You see? That's the problem with working."
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"Better start a new one, then. Oh!"
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"Wow, really?"
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"Uh, I've got a party."
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"-Want a chaperone? -You're not eligible."
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"No, feeling like you have to, that's desperate."
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"Quit pretending you don't even know me. You weren't that drunk."
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"Ah. Little-known fact: Don't just chew your food on one side."
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"Listen, thank you for trying to get my purse back and stuff."
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"Okay. Is it all right if! leave my number for when you might be?"
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"I don't know anything about science."
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"Karen. Honey, your little helper is here."
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"IAN: Erbium, cerium, praseodymium, magnesium--"
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"Google Earth for a GPS reference on where Isaac Newton was born."
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"-Wild salmon with baby carrots? -No."
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"I'll find out what I got when I open the damn box, all right?"
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"Really? An old lady on the train?"
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"Lip barely got his foot in in time to stop--"
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"Move before you give him a fucking embolism."
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"No, you'll be in the ER forever. For what? "Sub-metatarsal hematoma.""
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"Tell us something we didn't know five hours ago."
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"[KNOCKS ON DOOR]"
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"-No. -I know."
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"She didn't reap this from me, I'll tell you that."
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"-it's working okay? -It's not my favorite color."
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"If you start lying for him»-"
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"Once, four years ago, yes."
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"[FRANK SNORING]"
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"You just look more like Mom than any of the rest of us."
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"At least I can. Proves I'm wanted."
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"You're welcome, Dad."
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"If that wasn't bullshit, what was I wearing?"
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"First time you saw me, if that wasn't a lie."
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"STEVE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait."
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"What have I ever done to anybody, never mind you..."
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"And by "people like me" you mean people like what?"
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"Okay, wait. All right. Yes, no. All you gotta do is agree or disagree."
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"-Agree or disagree? -Agree."
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"-Agree. -"Because I'm not used to get--""
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""Okay, so I lose respect for guys like Steve, because people unlike Steve..."
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"So deciding he's overeducated and has more money than sense..."
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"'Why do the men I always date treat me like shit?"'"
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"-Definitely. -You prefer a guy..."
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"Say, D-BIock of a maximum-security prison?"
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"STEVE: Good evening, sir. -Thanks."
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"So vodka? I could do Sloe Comfortable Screws."
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"-Just a couple of Cokes, Mom. -And some beers?"
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"It's my fault?"
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"What impression did you get from my brother?"
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"-Ian? -Yeah."
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"Right."
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"You must be joking."
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"What, you're fucking him?"
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"He bought them for you, didn't he? Those shoes."
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"-Fucking kept boy, at best. -Hey."
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"Ask me what I got him, huh? Ask me."
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"Now, go back to Kash and promise him that you're not gonna tell anybody..."
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"That would fit me."
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"You know what? I'd better let you get to bed."
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"Um, but thanks. It was nice."
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"Gone, Steve. It's gone."
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"Oh, my God, I love this part."
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"[FRANK HUMS]"
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""You said no strings could--""
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"l-- I-- What could I do, Steve?"
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"The day you start paying rent like the rest of us..."
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"[LAUGHING]"
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"Oh! Oh!"
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"...because, I mean, he's long gone now anyways, but...."
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"Did he start that rumor?"
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"Well, that was a bit gay. What you just did there with your eyebrows..."
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"-...you wanna watch that. -All right, fuck off, all right?"
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"Do you get used to that? Can someone get used to that? I mean--"
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""Just is." Like we're only given our lungs to tricking smoke, right?"
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"[BOTH LAUGHING]"
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"DEBBIE: Hey, it's my birthday."
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"Hell, some people say God avoids this place altogether."
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"But its been a good home to us, to me and my kids, who I'm proud of..."
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"Knows how to disembowel an enemy with a roll of dimes and an old gym sock."
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"Always dragging home some poor stray he found, taking them up to his room."
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"Ah, Debbie, sent by God, total angel."
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