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Clips from ALF - A Little Bit of Soap (S01E01)

"Morning. Morning, dad."
ALF
"I emphasize the word "travel.""
ALF
"Guess what?"
ALF
"Don't forget, gomez had a motive, too."
ALF
"[ Vacuum sound ]"
ALF
"Hey, what do you think you're doing?"
ALF
"I'll tell you what's happening."
ALF
"The same thing that was happening a year ago."
ALF
"But, mom, that was almost a year ago."
ALF
"Give me that back."
ALF
"I could write better than that."
ALF
"Arguing about the t.V. Again?"
ALF
"Yes. She's been here forever."
ALF
"It's okay."
ALF
"To ask you to stay in my house."
ALF
"Those clothespins attached to your head?"
ALF
"Go back in the house. I can't."
ALF
"I wrote that as a joke. They left it in."
ALF
"Mothers and daughters are bound to have..."
ALF
"Freeloader?"
ALF
"Where are the famous suitcases?"
ALF
"I'm going to pack the rest of my things."
ALF
"Let's all read it out loud."
ALF
""It was someone to talk to, you know?"
ALF
"You're my mother, and i love you."
ALF
"Oh, mom."
ALF
"I know that, kids, but alf is right."
ALF
"To keep the sign from falling."
ALF
"Don't you know anything about gravity?"
ALF
"Give me the hammer."
ALF
"Thanks for offering, but the job's already done."
ALF
"Have you practiced the poem?"
ALF
"Yes, but--"
ALF
"But nothing. Let's hear it."
ALF
"Good-Bye, grandma. Good-Bye, good-Bye, good-Bye."
ALF
"Good-Bye, grandma. Good-Bye, good-Bye, good-Bye."
ALF
"Hmmm. Maybe another "good-Bye" in there."
ALF
"Alf, what's the stuff in this bag?"
ALF
"I prepared a little flight kit."
ALF
"Nothing special. Just a few travel necessities."
ALF
"Magazines, kleenex..."
ALF
"Breath mints, antacids, and moist towelettes."
ALF
"If she stops for anything, she might miss her plane."
ALF
"And, of course, the bag will come in handy..."
ALF
"In case of turbulence."
ALF
"Or if they show "howard the duck.""
ALF
"Why not?"
ALF
"Alf, don't be rude!"
ALF
"Why not, dorothy?"
ALF
"I could just kill estelle."
ALF
"She's decided to spend a few more days with her daughter."
ALF
"Where does that leave me and all my plans?"
ALF
"Honestly, i hate doing this,"
ALF
"But i'm going to have to stay here a little while longer."
ALF
"You know, there's a nice motel down the street."
ALF
"Just a thought."
ALF
"♪♪"
ALF
"[ Soap opera on t.V. ]"
ALF
"Margo says she doesn't know who's been..."
ALF
"Sabotaging the oil rigs."
ALF
"She thinks it might be jeremy,"
ALF
"Because of the fake bracelet incident with nina on devil's island."
ALF
"[ Vacuum sound ]"
ALF
"What are you watching?"
ALF
"Right now, your rear end."
ALF
"Turning on a good soap opera."
ALF
""One world to hope for.""
ALF
"That's not a soap opera, that's a sleeping pill."
ALF
"Quiet. I want to see what's happening."
ALF
"This show needs a plot transplant."
ALF
"Shhh!"
ALF
"Butch, i really want you to know..."
ALF
"How proud we are of what you did in that farmhouse."
ALF
"Boring!"
ALF
"What do you see in this thing?"
ALF
"I see love, compassion, warmth,"
ALF
"Concern for humanity."
ALF
"Incidentally, when are you leaving?"
ALF
"Soon. I'm leaving soon."
ALF
"You were supposed to leave last week."
ALF
"You can see my bags are packed, ready to go."
ALF
"I'm leaving when i'm leaving."
ALF
"No wonder you can't appreciate "one world to hope for.""
ALF
"You see, the people on this show care about each other."
ALF
"That's because they share a common bond:"
ALF
"Bad scripts!"
ALF
"Write? When would you find time?"
ALF
"If you're not stuffing your snout, you're watching t.V."
ALF
"Alf!"
ALF
"What?"
ALF
"You know what!"
ALF
"I want to see the x-Rays! No!"
ALF
"Well, kate, you know how much i love "one world to hope for.""
ALF
"The orange bath mat here won't let me watch."
ALF
"Orange bath mat?"
ALF
"Listen here, you bronx giraffe!"
ALF
"My mother is a guest in this house."
ALF
"I want you to treat her like one."
ALF
"Well, thank you, kate."
ALF
"Guest? Isn't there a statute of limitations on that word?"
ALF
"Alf."
ALF
"Kate, the woman doesn't respond to subtle hints."
ALF
"Alf, my mother is welcome to stay here as long as she wants."
ALF
"However long that may be."
ALF
"As a matter of fact, mom,"
ALF
"Why don't i put your suitcases in the closet?"
ALF
"Oh, sure, honey, if you feel they're in the way."
ALF
"Dust off the cobwebs first."
ALF
"[ Vacuum sound ]"
ALF
"Do you feel like going out?"
ALF
"Yeah. Let's party."
ALF
"Gee, i wish you wouldn't let her get to you."
ALF
"You know where she is right now?"
ALF
"At the market, buying a decent tile cleaner."
ALF
"Decent tile cleaner--"
ALF
"She'll be gone in a couple of weeks."
ALF
"First, she said a few more days,"
ALF
"Then, another week. Now, it's 2 more weeks."
ALF
"What is a woman estelle's age doing on a skateboard?"
ALF
"And why does mother have to wait for her?"
ALF
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