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Clips from South Park - Pinkeye (S01E01)

"It's called "Pink Eye." It aired as our Halloween special."
South Park
"It's all about an epidemic and the boys having to save the day."
South Park
"We wanted to do an episode on disease. Pinkeye was the right one."
South Park
"To fight this disease, all proceeds from this video go to pinkeye research."
South Park
"Anyway, all of y'all sit back, relax and enjoy "Pink Eye.""
South Park
"Wait till you see my Halloween costume. It kicks ass."
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"Yeah, I know what you mean."
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"So then the necrophiliac says, "If this ain't a cadaver...""
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"- You look like a pansy. - Shut up, Kyle."
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"- What are you supposed to be? - Raggedy Andy."
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"- This way we'll win the contest. - I'll win with this Chewbacca costume."
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"It's a Adolf Hitler costume. Sieg Heil. Sieg Heil."
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"- Sissy. - I'll kick your ass."
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"- Why is your family so poor? - Kenny's family is so poor..."
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"Your temperature is 55 degrees. You have no pulse, no heartbeat."
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"- And your eyes are puffy and sticky. - Oh, no, you mean..."
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"I'm so hungry and all I can think about eating is brains."
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"Don't touch your eyes. I'll prescribe some antibiotics."
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"- Yeah. - We were gonna enter the contest."
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"There, you see? All of a sudden my costume is pretty bad-ass."
South Park
"- Go to Endor, wookiee! - Wookiees don't live on Endor!"
South Park
"Kenny, are you gonna eat your pudding?"
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"Hey, Chef."
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"Why the hell would you dress like Evel Knievel? I hope you are..."
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"He said I could have his pudding. Ask him yourself."
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"- You bit my arm! - Kenny's back to normal."
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"Well, how about we make you a new costume? Let's see now..."
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"...a few quickie alterations. And there you go, young man."
South Park
"Looks like they got a touch of that pinkeye that's going around."
South Park
"That's just because you look like a total choad."
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"- Chef's really scared of ghosts, huh? - Where's Kyle?"
South Park
"- Check this out. - Whoa, dude."
South Park
"Let's all point at Stan and laugh, children."
South Park
"Relax, you'll feel better once we're trick-or-treating."
South Park
"I don't wanna trick-or-treat with you."
South Park
"In other news, a pinkeye epidemic is sweeping South Park."
South Park
"Pinkeye, my ass. I've seen this before."
South Park
"- Pumpkin pails? - Check."
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"- Taser. - What's that?"
South Park
"Yeah, granola pisses me off."
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"Too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job..."
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"- How's your barrel full of candy? - I didn't want that sweet stuff."
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"I gave it away to hungry children in Nairobi."
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"Stan, I'm awful sorry you got dressed up like Raggedy Andy. Don't be mad."
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"- Trick-or-treat with yourself. - But, Stan..."
South Park
"No buts, Wendy. I wish you were dead!"
South Park
"There have been a lot of advances in topical creams the last few years."
South Park
"Now, let's form a line. I've got enough topical cream for everybody."
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"- Call 91 1! - Kenny, she was going to give us candy."
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"- Do something about the living dead. - You mean Tina Yothers?"
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"To hell with you both."
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"Oh, God!"
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"Trick or treat."
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"Hey, they're all dressed up like ghosts too."
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"Oh, my God! Stop!"
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"Trick or..."
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"- Hey, Chef. - Chef, no."
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"- Can we have some candy now? - What are you doing dressed like that?"
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"Kenny keeps eating people's brains."
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"- Where are we going? - The first people treated..."
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"I found it."
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"- What? - See, your mom is on the cover."
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"Hey, Chef. Look."
South Park
"We'll hold them off."
South Park
"Nobody screws up my trick-or-treats and gets away with it."
South Park
"This call might be monitored to ensure quality service. How may I help you?"
South Park
"Remember how she dissed you at the costume contest?"
South Park
"...and start decapitating zombies left and right. Do you understand?"
South Park
"Okay, then what?"
South Park
"All the other zombies will turn back to normal."
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"You have a choice in Worcestershire sauces. We..."
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"I'm sorry I wished you were dead."
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"Barf is gross."
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"You're the one who cut him in half."
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"Cartman, those pictures were taken, like, last month."
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"Screw you guys!"
South Park
"Pink Eye"
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"- Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! - You bastards!"
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"- What the hell is that thing? - A UFO."
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"There's no such thing as UFOs."
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"Let's get him to the morgue."
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"- Dude, it can't be cooler than mine. - We ought to get our costumes ready."
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"I think death is least funny when it happens to a child."
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"- Marty, you put that on everything. - It makes everything taste so English."
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"- Goddamn, that little turd bit me. - Me too."
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"- Why did you dress like Raggedy Andy? - Wendy's Raggedy Ann."
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"- First prize is two tons of candy. - Wow, cool."
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"- Hey, dudes. - What kind of costume is that?"
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"- Where'd you get it? - My mom. It's cool."
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"- No, I'm Raggedy Andy, fat-ass. - Oh, wow, you look pretty cool."
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"- Look out, Holly Hobbie's pissed off. - Hey, look, Kenny's not dead."
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"- You forgot to wear a costume. - Couldn't your family afford one?"
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"...they had to put their cardboard box up for mortgage."
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"I said your family had to put a cardboard box up for mortgage, Kenny."
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"I'm talking to you, Kenny! Achtung!"
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"- Come on, we're running late! - We always run late, you skank."
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"- What did you say? - I can't wait to own a fishing tank."
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"Neither can I."
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"- Very interesting. - What is it, doc?"
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"Yeah, I'm afraid the two of you have pinkeye."
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"I'd give you topical medicine, but I don't want to touch you."
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"Wait till everyone sees my Chewbacca costume. They're gonna be so jealous."
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"It sure does seem to be a popular costume this year."
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"- Damn it! - Wendy."
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"- Hi, Stan. - We were gonna be Raggedy Ann and Andy."
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"I know, but then I guess I just realized how stupid we would look."
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"- You what? - I thought you'd agree..."
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"...so I came as Chewbacca."
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"- Stan, you look pretty enough to kiss. - Yeah, you want to be my girlfriend?"
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"- Dressing like Hitler is not bad-ass. - You're jealous."
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"My mom's not on the cover of Crack Whore magazine."
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"- What did you say? - Okay, Chewbaccas take your seats."
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"Since today is Halloween..."
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"...we should learn about the horror writer Jackie Collins."
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"You see, when Jackie Collins first wrote her novel..."
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"Is there a problem, Kenny?"
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"Let's keep our hands to ourselves, okay?"
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"I'm never gonna win that candy."
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"- Hello there. Happy Halloween. - Must eat brains."
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"Oh, God! No! Stop!"
South Park
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