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Clips from The Simpsons - Marge the Lumberjill (S31E31)

"(school bell rings)"
The Simpsons
"Get to the ride."
The Simpsons
"(students cheer)"
The Simpsons
"Jughead, there's been a murder at Pop's Chock'lit Shoppe"
The Simpsons
"Wait. So this is a play based on a YouTube"
The Simpsons
"be sure to smash our like button and subscribe to our channel."
The Simpsons
"I am such a huge fan of your movies, books, or music."
The Simpsons
"Oh, no, please. I'm having the best dream."
The Simpsons
"Amazingly, this next piece is not based on something"
The Simpsons
"are as outdated as my slingshot."
The Simpsons
"I also have exciting news."
The Simpsons
"How do the kids say lame-o these days?"
The Simpsons
"And the fog was the ghost of the sea."
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"(cheering)"
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"(indistinct chatter)"
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"Boring. They think I'm boring."
The Simpsons
"Now, this morning, Marge Simpson has insistently volunteered"
The Simpsons
"Now, a reading from John, 18:38,"
The Simpsons
"(exaggerated Italian accent): Hey-a Jesus,"
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"what's a matter for you?"
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"(man coughs)"
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"Anyhoo, Jesus answered, and I think it might have gone"
The Simpsons
"something like this."
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"The only thing I nail are my SATs."
The Simpsons
"Mm..."
The Simpsons
"I'm going to bed."
The Simpsons
"I have to do everything. (grunts)"
The Simpsons
"No. He doesn't have one. Something better."
The Simpsons
"Thanks, um..."
The Simpsons
"Nice job on that wood."
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"You helped that hammock kiss the ground."
The Simpsons
"(weakly): D'oh."
The Simpsons
"That's so interesting."
The Simpsons
"How does it feel to be magnificent?"
The Simpsons
"It's an unpaid passion that you do in your spare time."
The Simpsons
"Now, we're going to the woods."
The Simpsons
"Ah."
The Simpsons
"Now, to motivate your chopping,"
The Simpsons
"So do you, idiot. We're in the same bubble."
The Simpsons
"She's a natural."
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"¶ ¶"
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"¶ So beautiful and green ¶"
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"¶ Who was chopping down a tree ¶"
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"¶ On her waist was strapped a tool belt ¶"
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"¶ Roar, roar, what a thrill ¶"
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"All our sweaty passion and grunting"
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"Now's the time I should tell you. Paula is gay."
The Simpsons
"You know, help me bow the jagged-toothed fiddle?"
The Simpsons
"A month? Oh, no, I can't leave Homer that long."
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"(screaming)"
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"Oh. Fantasies can be good?"
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"Paula wants me to train with her."
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"Homer, do you really want me to stay,"
The Simpsons
"(crying)"
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"So nervous about seeing your mother."
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"(gasps) Comic Book Guy?"
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"You've got to have a modicum of faith in who you are."
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"It's what Jill Sobule wore when she played the Crystal Ballroom."
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"and you have to be jealous."
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"Then it's too late to start now."
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"Oh, I'm sitting in a bar"
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"Classic Portland. Where are you from?"
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"Still looking."
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"Marge and Paula are in control."
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"(chitters)"
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"I love this sport!"
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"See you in the showers."
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"-I have a wife and a kid. -You have a wife?"
The Simpsons
"I don't know what it's called."
The Simpsons
"and I'll really miss that $80 grand prize money,"
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"It's you, the track star or the Harvard professor."
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"you're always a strong, confident little lady."
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"Aw, her baby head fell out."
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"You'll be getting a visit from the Head Fairy."
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"Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION"
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"¶ They made it just for you" ¶"
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"¶ Buzz, buzz, just one more ¶"
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"¶ With Lumberjill ¶"
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"Shh!"
The Simpsons
"What, too soon?"
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"Aah!"
The Simpsons
"And there be pirates lurking in every cove."
The Simpsons
"Did they get a picture?"
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"written by our students."
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"Should we silence our cell phones and pagers?"
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"No, no, no, please, I beg you, leave them on."
The Simpsons
"And now, an new scene from the CW's Riverdale."
The Simpsons
"I can't deal with that right now."
The Simpsons
"My dad's in jail and the only way to get him out"
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"is to try drugs."
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"We're both pregnant with Big Moose's babies."
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"of kids playing a video game?"
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"-That's right. -(scoffs) It's about time."
The Simpsons
"Okay, to get their chug jugs, I could snipe these guys out"
The Simpsons
"one by one, but the smarter move is to plant a charge"
The Simpsons
"at the base of their attack platform"
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"and skull-splat 'em when they land."
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"Hey, guys, if you want more game hacks like this,"
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"Up next, night vision fails."
The Simpsons
"How is this a play?"
The Simpsons
"Well, sir, video game walk-throughs"
The Simpsons
"are the only narrative most of these kids have been exposed to."
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"-This is their Becket. -BOTH: Who?"
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"Are you Terry Bradshaw?"
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"No. It's, uh, Donny Osmond."
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"Boner. Boner from Growing Pains."
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"(distorted): You're all wrong. My real identity is..."
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"Flavor Flav!"
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"Flavor Flav? I've heard of you."
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"I've heard of you so much."
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"I can also pretend to be impressed."
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"ALL: The end."
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"(scattered applause)"
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"Wake up. Lisa's next."
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"I was in my warm, cozy grave."
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"Well, I'm gonna dream about me in a soft, cuddly crypt."
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"you watch on your phone or a gas pump,"
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"but is actually an honest-to-goodness play,"
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"by Lisa "Thank God You're a Throwback" Simpson."
The Simpsons
"And so I give you"
The Simpsons
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