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Clips from The Golden Girls - Adult Education (S01E01)

"I can't even ask my own wife this."
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"I'd like to."
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"Dean Tucker, what happened to me was really quite simple."
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"I'm not doing very well in Professor Cooper's class,"
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"so he offered to give me an A i- if I would..."
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"Do number five?"
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"Actually, number five, six, and seven-B."
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"Why, that's terrible! Were there any witnesses?"
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"- No. - Oh. Oh. Well, that complicates things."
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"Why, don't you believe me?"
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"It's not a question of whether or not I believe you."
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"It's just without substantial evidence, it's just your word against his,"
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"and a man's career is at stake!"
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"Well, so is mine, not to mention my dignity."
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"I'm sorry. I really am. I'd like to help you."
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"But unfortunately, there's nothing I can do."
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"- But that's not fair! - Miss Deveraux, life is not fair."
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"Well, I've known about it for some time,"
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"and as far as I'm concerned, you can go do it to yourself."
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"Oh, hello, Rose."
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"Blanche, you won't believe what happened to me today."
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"It was so exciting."
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"I've been waiting for somebody to come home so long, I thought I was gonna burst."
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"You won't believe what happened to me today in the dean's office."
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"I usually listen to WXDC, all talk radio,"
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"but this morning, a little voice told me to turn the dial,"
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"so I did, and I tuned in right in the middle of this contest."
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"They were looking for the 12th caller."
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"12 has always been my lucky number,"
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"so I pulled over and I got my change ready..."
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"I always keep two dimes in the crook of the door handle for emergencies..."
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"and by the time I got through, I was the 12th caller."
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"I won four tickets to the Frank Sinatra concert!"
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"and listen to what I have to say."
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"Blanche, I'm sorry. What were you trying to tell me?"
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"I just don't know what I'm going to do."
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"Three tickets to Old Blue Eyes. It's finally going to happen."
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"- But, Dorothy... - Rose, please."
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"I went down to the auditorium today and out front,"
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"I saw a kid scalping tickets to this woman."
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"So I figured this is my last chance. I raced over, took her aside,"
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"explained to her how much I'd always wanted to see Sinatra."
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"And guess what? She let me buy the tickets!"
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"how much you wanted to see Frank Sinatra?"
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"Yeah, that and that I only had three weeks to live."
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"- Dorothy... - These are desperate times, Rose."
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"Boy, I'll say. Today, when I went to the dean's office..."
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"I got tickets, too. This is such a coincidence."
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"I was driving down Biscayne Boulevard..."
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"No! No, no, no, please. I cannot bear that again."
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"She was listening to her car radio... big band, not all talk."
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"There was a contest."
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"Something about a little voice, a lucky number and a dime in a door handle."
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"Then bim, bam, boom, she won the tickets."
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"Take a lesson, Rose."
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"That's how you tell a story."
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"Blanche, here we've been running on about the concert,"
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"and you haven't even had a chance to tell your story."
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"Go ahead."
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"Never mind. I don't feel like it anymore."
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"Honey, come on, we're sorry. We're listening now."
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"You have our complete attention."
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"All right."
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"- I went to see Dean Tucker today. - So, big talker..."
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"- did you get your mitts on any tickets yet? - As a matter of fact, I did."
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"- Three tickets, rear orchestra. - Three tickets, third row center."
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"- Ma, how in the world did you get these? - Easy. I called Frank."
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"I told you I had connections."
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"You know Frank Sinatra?"
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"No, Frank Caravicci..."
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"from the fish market."
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"He's always been good to me. Never a bad piece of cod."
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"- He knows Frank. - Sinatra?"
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"No, Frank Tortoni, the dry cleaner,"
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"Tina's third cousin once removed."
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"- Tina Tortoni? - Tina Sinatra!"
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"Ten tickets! What are we gonna do with ten whole tickets?"
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"I got it, I got it. We'll go scalp them in front of the theater."
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"Oh, Rose. After what we went through to get them,"
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"the least we can do is break even."
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"And believe me, whoever gets these tickets is gonna be very grateful."
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"- Now, what do you say? - Oh, who cares what she has to say?"
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"I have been trying for five minutes"
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"to tell you about my meeting with Dean Tucker,"
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"and all you two can do is go on about your silly concert."
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"Blanche, I'm sorry. What can we do for you?"
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"Nothing. I've decided I have to do it myself."
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"Since the dean was no help whatever,"
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"I've decided the only one who can help me is me."
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"I'm going to show that Professor Cooper something."
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"Only first I think, as a reward for working so hard,"
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"I'll make myself an ice cream sundae."
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"Rose, I suggest you leave the room."
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"I may get a little crazy with the chopped nuts."
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"Pencils down."
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"- Well, where is everybody? - Just you and me, Blanche."
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"Well, looks like we're finally at the crossroads."
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"Whatever do you mean?"
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"I mean, I know you've been having trouble with this course,"
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"and I'd hate to see you have to repeat it."
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"Professor Cooper, I've been thinking about what you said,"
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"and I have no intention of repeating this course."
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"Good. I'm glad you decided to take me up on my offer."
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"Oh, I'm declining your offer, but I do want to thank you."
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"- For what? - Well, thanks to you,"
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"I studied all day and all night. And whenever I felt like giving up,"
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"I would just think about what kind of man you really are,"
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"and I'd study even harder. In fact, you made me so mad,"
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"I decided to get an A on this test come hell or high water,"
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"and I think I did."
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"I, sir, am a lady."
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"Maybe not the smartest lady in the world,"
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"So you, sir, can kiss my A."
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"Oh, thank goodness you're... I have been worried sick!"
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"Do you realize it's almost two in the morning?"
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"I was about to call the police!"
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"You should have. That's who we were with."
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"- What? What happened? - Look, I don't want to talk about it."
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"Oh, well, all right, but somebody tell me before I die of suspense."
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"My brilliant daughter scalped the tickets to an undercover policeman."
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