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Clips from The Golden Girls - Adult Education (S01E01)

"I don't believe we've been formally introduced. I'm Blanche Deveraux."
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"- Yes, I know. - You do?"
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"- Mm-hm. Of course. - Oh, I'm flattered."
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"You're the only student who failed my midterm exam."
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"Oh."
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"What was it you wanted to see me about?"
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"Professor Cooper, I suppose you are aware"
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"that I'm having the teensiest bit of trouble in your course,"
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"So I was wondering if maybe you could give me a little help."
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"Oh, I see. Well, Blanche, considering that you flunked the midterm,"
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"you'll need an A on the final exam to even pass my class,"
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"and the odds on that seem pretty slim."
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"But you see, I have to have these credits to get my degree."
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"- You mean, like extra credit? - Well, you could say that."
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"That's fine. I'm ready, willing, and able. I'll do whatever I have to."
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"Oh, I like your attitude, Blanche."
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"This is my home phone number."
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"Now, if you really want that degree, you'll use it. You catch my drift?"
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"Oh."
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"Oh."
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"Here we are, Sophia. The perfect after-dinner treat."
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"- A nice dish of Jell-O. - I hate Jell-O."
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"If God wanted peaches suspended in midair,"
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"he would have filled them with helium."
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"- What? - Beat it, Rose. I'm busy."
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"- What are you doing? - It's Tuesday night."
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"I'm cleaning out my purse."
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"Did all that stuff come out of your purse?"
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"No, I was also cleaning out my ears."
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"That's where the Feenamint and the rain bonnet came from."
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"Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?"
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"Forgive me, Rose, but I haven't had sex in 15 years"
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"and it's starting to get on my nerves."
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"Hello, big shot. Did you get the tickets?"
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"Look, Ma, don't start with me. I've had a very rough day."
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"The only scalper I could find had funny things moving in his hair,"
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"and he wanted to bargain in a dark alley."
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"- I didn't think it was exactly safe. - I can't believe you were such a baby."
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"How do you think I ended up with your father?"
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"If the tickets are that hard to get, maybe we just weren't meant to go."
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"Maybe you weren't, Rose, but two weeks from now,"
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"I intend to be sitting in front of Old Blue Eyes himself,"
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"live, in-person, middle-aged spread and all."
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"Dorothy, you can take off a few pounds by then"
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"if you put your mind to it."
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"Oh, girls, I am devastated, just devastated."
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"Honey, what happened?"
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"I asked my teacher for help, like you all told me to."
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"He said the only way I would get an A on his final is if I sleep with him."
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"Get it in writing."
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"Blanche, that is terrible. I hope you told him off."
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"First I was so stunned, I didn't know what to say."
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"Then I marched back up to his desk and I looked him straight in the eye"
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"and I said, "I'll think it over. ""
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"Blanche, there is nothing to think over. What he did is sexual harassment."
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"He cannot get away with that."
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"I don't know if I can pass this course on my own."
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"Oh, Blanche, believe me, in the long run,"
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"you'll be so much happier if you use your brains instead of your body."
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"I don't know if I can. When I was little, I was always overshadowed by my sisters."
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"They were all smarter and more talented than I was."
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"the talent to drive men crazy with a body that many said"
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"should have come with a warning label."
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"Blanche, please."
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"After a while, I learned I could use my looks to my advantage,"
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"so I did... regularly."
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"I've done it for so long now, I don't know if I can get by without it."
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"Well, maybe this is a good time to start."
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"Rose is right. Listen, you're gonna get an A in that class."
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"We're gonna help you do it."
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"As far as that professor is concerned, you should report him immediately."
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"- You think I should? - Absolutely."
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"When I first started teaching,"
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"the school principal pulled exactly the same thing on me."
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"- What did you do? - I reported him to the Board of Education."
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"They investigated, and he was forced to resign."
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"'Course, much later, I found out that I was not the only person he had harassed."
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"I was, however, the only person he harassed"
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"while he was wearing a corset and high heels."
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"Well, at any rate, I spoke out,"
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"and because I did, a lot of other women didn't have to go through the same thing."
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"You know, you're right. I have made up my mind."
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"I'm going to see the dean about Professor Cooper."
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"Very wise decision."
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"Nils Felander attempted to harass me repeatedly."
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"What do you mean, he attempted to?"
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"He worked at Lars Erikson's Drugstore and Tackle Shop. He was a soda jerk."
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"Now that I think about it, he was the town jerk."
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"Every Saturday afternoon, I'd go in and have a sundae."
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"Well, Nils would arrange the ice cream scoops in an obscene way."
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"I could never prove it, because by the time I would take it home to show my father,"
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"- the evidence had... - ... melted."
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"To this day, every time I pass an ice cream parlor or a tackle shop, I blush."
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"Look, Coach, I want Leon off the team."
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"I don't care if he is 6'11" and weighs 300 pounds."
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"The boy can't spell his own name unless he copies it off his jersey."
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"I'm not gonna tell him. You tell him. You're the coach."
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"(knock on door"
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"- Dean Tucker? - Come in, come in."
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"Look, we'll talk about it later."
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"Oh! Oh, boy. Problems, problems, problems."
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"My mother wanted me to be a priest,"
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"but no, I had to pursue the flashy world of academics."
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"- Oh, I'm... Sit down, sit down. - Thank you."
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"Dean Tucker, my name is Blanche Deveraux,"
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"and I have something extremely important to discuss with you."
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"Could this wait till next week?"
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"I've only been dean here for a couple of days."
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"I haven't got a secretary, I can't get my parking validated."
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"I don't even know where the restroom is."
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"I was sexually harassed by Professor Cooper."
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"Oh, don't do this to me."
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"We'll look into this first thing Monday morning."
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"- It can't wait. - You're right."
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"We'll do something immediately. We'II, uh, we'll fill out a form."
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"There must be one in here somewhere."
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"OK, Sexual Discrimination, Sexual Education..."
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"Sexual Harassment."
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"OK, I'm going to have to ask you a few questions."
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"Well, Lord, I can't ask you this."
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