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Clips from The Golden Girls - On Golden Girls (S01E01)

"Your heart is true"
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"- Rambo? - The movie with Sly Stallone."
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"Sure, it's easy for you. I'm not the one who snores."
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"and a great big slice of double chocolate fudge cake."
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"Oh, where was he going after school? The electric chair?"
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"The next thing I know, I'm in the Bahamas. I figured while I was there,"
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"Hard to say. It depends how late the guys from Miami Vice want to party."
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"Rose, Rose, Rose... Sweetheart, save the story."
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"I give up."
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"- I'm a mother, I know these things. - Good night, Ma."
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"Keep it up, I'll need a Dramamine."
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"- Goodnight, Ma. - Goodnight."
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"A bear is eating you. What's to love?"
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"- Good night, Ma. - Good night, pussycat."
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"David, I said, what in the world is going on here?"
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"You stop that!"
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"Oh, really? Well, you can all just kiss my attitude!"
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"Ma."
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"Have you tried telling them how you feel?"
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"Only because they dumped me on you and you feel you have to."
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"Crossing the street without getting pregnant was a chore in Sicily."
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"You're right. It's my mother's fault."
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"And no one likes me anyway."
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"- My life stinks. - I know."
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"Things are tough at home and that really does stink."
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"You can tough it out or you can let it beat you."
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"proving that you can teach an old dog new tricks."
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"- And if anyone knows about tricks... - Ma!"
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"Hear, hear."
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"- Blanche, what are we gonna do? - Do you think I should call his mother?"
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"...I've decided to keep him and raise him myself."
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"Yes, I realize you're his mother..."
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"and give that boy the love and attention he deserves,"
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"I'm gonna miss you guys."
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"Yeah, they've never ignored me on an island before."
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"It's gonna be awfully quiet around here without him."
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"Thank you for being a friend"
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"Traveled down the road and back again"
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"You're a pal and a confidante"
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"And if you threw a party"
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"Invited everyone you knew"
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"You would see the biggest gift would be from me"
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"And the card attached would say"
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""Thank you for being a friend""
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"Why do these things always happen to me?"
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"I'm just a wreck. I don't know what I'm gonna do!"
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"Blanche, we go through this every morning."
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"Now admit it, you have cellulite."
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"I am not talking about cellulite... which I don't have."
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"I'm talking about my daughter Janet. I just got off the phone with her."
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"- She's having marital troubles. - Oh, Blanche, I'm so sorry."
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"But they've decided to try and work things out,"
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"so they're going to Hawaii for a second honeymoon."
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"Sounds like they're trying to work it out. Why are you upset?"
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"Don't you listen? She has cellulite."
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"Those are dimples."
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"- Dimples are on these cheeks! - Ma!"
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"I am upset because while they're in Hawaii for two weeks,"
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"they're leaving my 14-year-old grandson with me!"
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"Oh, Blanche, that's wonderful news! Why, you shouldn't be upset."
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"No, I should be upset. How am I supposed to study"
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"for my French final with a 14-year-old in the house?"
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"It's hard enough with an 80-year-old."
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"- Are you referring to me? - Of course not, Ma."
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"Hey, it's Blanche's grandson. We do for family."
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"You're right. You're right. I'm just being selfish."
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"- It probably won't be too bad. - No, I suppose not."
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"But whatever will we do with him for two weeks?"
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"There are plenty of things to do down here."
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"We can take him to Disneyworld, the Seaquarium, the Everglades, Rambo..."
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"I sat through it twice. You'll love it!"
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"He sweats like a pig and he doesn't put his shirt on!"
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"It's not gonna work. I'm not sharing my room."
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"Oh Ma, Ma... I'm not thrilled with the arrangement either."
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"But for the two weeks that David is here, we'll make do."
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"I do not snore."
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"Please! I'll bet less disgusting noises come out of Ernest Borgnine!"
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"I just fixed a special treat for David."
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"It's the same little after-school snack I used to make for my own son -"
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"a triple-decker BLT, a hearty helping of homemade potato salad,"
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"Oh, girls!"
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"What's the matter? Where's David?"
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"I don't know where he is. He wasn't on the plane."
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"Come on, Dorothy. I'll help you move your things back to your room."
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"Oh, Ma. Please!"
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"Come on, Blanche. Now calm down, calm down."
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"He probably missed the plane. It can happen to anyone."
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"- I missed a plane once. And a train... - Rose, you miss a lot of things."
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"He got on the plane all right. I checked with the airline."
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"You probably just missed each other at the airport."
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"Dorothy, I was standing there at the gate"
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"from the moment the first passenger got off."
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"I paged him. I checked with airport security."
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"- I called the police. - (doorbell"
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"Oh."
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"- David! Oh, David! - Grandma!"
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"- Is this your kid? - Honey, what happened to you?"
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"It wasn't my fault, I promise."
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"He stowed away in the airplane lavatory when they landed in Miami"
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"and the authorities picked him up in the duty-free shop in Freeport."
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"- You went to the Bahamas? - I went to the bathroom!"
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"I'd buy some perfume for you and your friends in the duty-free shop."
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"- David. - I'd keep an eye on this one, lady."
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"Oh, I don't know how to thank you, officer. But I would like to try."
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"I'm usually at Wally's for happy hour on Tuesdays."
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"Blanche!"
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"- Ma'am. - Bye."
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"David. I ought to give you a good talking-to,"
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"but I'm just so glad you're all right, I'm willing to overlook this little incident."
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"Hello, David. I'm Dorothy. This is Rose."
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"- Hello, David. - Hey, what's happening?"
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"Yeah, I'll believe that if you believe the Bahamas story."
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"You know, David, I went to the Bahamas once."
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"Oh, yeah? Was it on the Nina, the Pinta, or the Santa Maria?"
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"It was a DC-10. I don't think it had a name."
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"Yeah, that's very funny, Rose. Yeah, I'm gonna grab a bite to eat."
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"I passed this burger joint around the corner."
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"Looked like there might be some kids there."
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"Oh, but David, wait a minute. You just got here."
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"- I'd really prefer you to stay. - I planned a special meal for you, David."
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