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Clips from New Girl - Backslide (S01E01)

"I can't feel my arm."
New Girl
"Oh... Whoa."
New Girl
"I really can't feel it at all."
New Girl
"Mm. - Wake up, fella."
New Girl
"You're gonna be late for school."
New Girl
"Genzlinger."
New Girl
"What is that?"
New Girl
"An earring. What does it look like?"
New Girl
"I got wasted last night with Joe and so I got my ear pierced."
New Girl
"- Wait. I wanna do it. - Wait, what?"
New Girl
"I wanna do it. - See, this is where it gets weird between us."
New Girl
"Traditionally, the male of the species is more glamorous."
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"- When's it coming out? - The earring?"
New Girl
"No, the smooth jazz album you're dropping."
New Girl
"Hey, guys. You remember, um, Paul?"
New Girl
"- Mercedes Genz. - Genzel Washington."
New Girl
"It's the Genz of the world as we know it."
New Girl
"Everybody, put down your Genz and your Genzils."
New Girl
"- Hey, Schmidt. What's up, Washington? - Hm?"
New Girl
"- We'll definitely... - All right."
New Girl
"Okay."
New Girl
"Okay."
New Girl
"- Okay. - All right."
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"- Backslider. - Don't."
New Girl
"- You backslid. - Come on."
New Girl
"You backslid all the way down the hill and back into the parking lot."
New Girl
"Take off your skis and wait for your family in the lodge, Jessica Day."
New Girl
"Look, this could be good. Paul and I had bad timing before."
New Girl
"And maybe I should just give it another shot."
New Girl
"- Such an ugly crier. - He is the all-time worst crier."
New Girl
"It's like he has a slow-motion sneeze. Winston, what is in your ear?"
New Girl
"- It's hot. - Does that feed information to Shelby..."
New Girl
"to keep track of your migration?"
New Girl
"- Drop it. - Please, Jess."
New Girl
"- He just got back from Carnival. - No, I..."
New Girl
"These people are disgusting. I've never been more flaccid in my life."
New Girl
"Heh. - Thank God."
New Girl
"I mean, this place is a cardigan gold mine."
New Girl
"- Can I get you anything, Dadi? - A hot-blooded man in a hotel room."
New Girl
"Oh, just get me a puzzle."
New Girl
"- Yeah? - I raised that girl."
New Girl
"She is my life."
New Girl
"And she's not as tough as she looks."
New Girl
"If you hurt her, I will let myself die and then I will haunt you."
New Girl
"- Whoa. Look at this fireplace, it's huge. - Caroline, that is not a fireplace."
New Girl
"That is, like, a room you could safely set on fire."
New Girl
"- This is really nice. So grown-up. - It is."
New Girl
"But where is all your stuff gonna go?"
New Girl
"Like, where will the Grateful Dead bears dance?"
New Girl
"Didn't realize I lived here too."
New Girl
"Seriously, what do you think about moving in?"
New Girl
"Wait, you want to move in together?"
New Girl
"Yeah, I mean, I feel like if we're gonna do this again, we should do it for real."
New Girl
"- Right. - I mean, I'm 33 years old."
New Girl
"- You're 30 years old, we're the same age. - No, I lied about that. I'm 33."
New Girl
"I don't want to start at the beginning again with you."
New Girl
"I mean, you're not not making sense."
New Girl
"- Knock-knock. - Hi."
New Girl
"- Hi back. - Heh."
New Girl
"- Um. L... - I have something to tell you."
New Girl
"- Oh. Sorry. You go first. - I'll go first."
New Girl
"Um, I was thinking a lot about, um, you..."
New Girl
"and last night."
New Girl
"- Right. - And we have something good."
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"Jess, I have a girlfriend."
New Girl
"- What? - Yup. A very serious girlfriend."
New Girl
"Oh, my God. Why didn't you tell me?"
New Girl
"When you called me, we'd gotten into this fight..."
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"and I was really confused. - You were cheating on her with me?"
New Girl
"- Is that bad? That's bad. - It's really bad."
New Girl
"- Oh, no, that's really bad. - Why would you do that?"
New Girl
"Now I know what Bill Clinton feels like."
New Girl
"I'm sorry I made you feel like Monica."
New Girl
"- You cry-smile. - Hey, babe, I'm here for lunch."
New Girl
"- Oh. - Oh."
New Girl
"Oh, no, are you crying? Is everything okay?"
New Girl
"There's..."
New Girl
"I'm sorry to break it to you, but that is the way the electoral college works, man."
New Girl
"It... It seems so unfair."
New Girl
"- So votes don't mean as much? - It upsets me too."
New Girl
"- I'm gonna miss you. - What do you mean?"
New Girl
"I'm gonna miss you when your caravan moves onto the next village."
New Girl
"Oh, my God."
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"He has a girlfriend. He cheated on his girlfriend with me."
New Girl
"- I'm a cheater. - P. Genz played you?"
New Girl
"I saw her. She looks like an Asian me."
New Girl
"I can't even backslide right. I've been her. I've been Asian me before."
New Girl
"Are you gonna keep calling her "Asian me"? It's becoming a problem."
New Girl
"I don't know her name."
New Girl
"But I do know that if I were her, I'd wanna know what kind of person I was dating."
New Girl
"- That's why I have to tell her. - Please don't do that."
New Girl
"Because it's something you can't fix. Knowledge."
New Girl
"Take it easy, black George Michael. I have to do it. I have to tell her."
New Girl
"Sixty-one years we've been together, 14 presidents..."
New Girl
"and four different Batmen. - Why don't we go for a walk?"
New Girl
"- I'm gonna go get your sweater. - Thanks, sweetie."
New Girl
"Give me one second. - Wow, so you guys are like..."
New Girl
"real live Yodas, huh?"
New Girl
"- Can I ask you a question? - Shoot, cowboy."
New Girl
"- How do you build a relationship? - How about Viagra?"
New Girl
"I use it just to keep from falling out of bed."
New Girl
"How does a guy like me have a chance at making someone like Cece happy?"
New Girl
"You don't. Not with all those moles on your face."
New Girl
"- I should just give up. - That's crazy. She needs you."
New Girl
"- Here's your sweater, Dadi. - Thank you."
New Girl
"Um, I'll meet you out there in a second, okay? Okay."
New Girl
"Take it easy, Burt."
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"You know, for the first time in my life I feel like I want something that lasts."
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"And I want it with you."
New Girl
"You do?"
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"- Oh! - Oh."
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"Aah!"
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"- It hurts so bad. - What's turning you on?"
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"- Oh! Oh! - The queen of diamonds? The boat?"
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"The teeth in the glass?"
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"Is emotional intimacy turning you on?"
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"Are you in that much pain?"
New Girl
"He passed out. We need help."
New Girl
"- Yo. What's up? - How'd the audition go?"
New Girl
"- What? - For the Disney pirate movie?"
New Girl
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