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Clips from New Girl - Backslide (S01E01)

"- No, you didn't. - I'm gonna dance..."
New Girl
"Look, Jess, backsliding is what happens after a clean break..."
New Girl
"in the presence of your lover tells me that relationship was doomed. No."
New Girl
"Stop crying. You are literally the ugliest crier I have ever seen."
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"Asian Jess, wh... Ow."
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"Sometimes when you make a mistake, all you can do is own up to it, all right?"
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"You are exactly what she needs."
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"I feel the same way."
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"- I care about you so much, but... - The leaf painting?"
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"But it's a different Caroline that's picking me up in five minutes."
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"I know that because you're still here."
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"Sex is a sprint, not a marathon."
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"Wish I had a river"
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"I could skate away on"
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"Hey, Jess. I brought you some tea."
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"Just gonna leave it right here, okay? There you go."
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"So, Russell, ouch, right?"
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"Who saw that coming? Not me. Heh."
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"Certainly not Russell."
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"I guess you saw it coming because you're the one who broke up with him."
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"- Leave, Schmidt. - I'll leave. But you know what?"
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"Know this. You're not the only one hurting, Jessica Day."
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"The economy stinks, bees are dying..."
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"movies are pretty much all sequels and I..."
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"- Don't say "broken penis." ...have a broken penis."
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"Don't pretend to know my pain."
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"- Hey, Jess. - Hey."
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"- What's this song called? - "The River.""
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"- Hm. - Do you like it?"
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"I liked it when you played it the first time at 10:00 last night."
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"I liked it a little bit less at 2 a.m."
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"Now I'm hoping the sun comes up, thaws that river, and that woman drowns."
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"Get out."
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"Russell was perfect. What's wrong with me?"
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"Am I self-sabotaging? Am I secretly a Cylon?"
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"- You just didn't love him. - What if it's me?"
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"What if I have some idea of love in my head and it's just totally wrong?"
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"Do not second-guess yourself, okay?"
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"It was a tough choice, but it was the right choice."
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"Yeah. Mm-hm."
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"So, what do you think about turning off that song?"
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"- I just feel like... - Off. Turn it off."
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"Ow."
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"It's coming on Christmas They're..."
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"Oh, my God, she's dead."
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"Come on, 80 more times. I get it now. It's a river."
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"All right, now let's go and get a drink."
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"Because you really need to get out of this room."
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"- I'm not ready. - Turn that song back on."
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"Caroline and I made up a routine to cheer you up."
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"and Nick's gonna clap."
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"Ooh. - You about ready now?"
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"- Yeah, I'm ready now. - Ooh, ah. Feel it. Uh, uh."
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"Get it, Caroline. Get it, Caroline. Born to dance. Dance."
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"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
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"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
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"I'm gonna end up alone."
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"I'm gonna be a single old lady flashing people on the subway."
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"Jess, first of all, you're never gonna be old."
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"- Second of all, give me your phone. - Why?"
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"Do you want to drunkenly call Russell, tell him what a mistake you made?"
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"Your life is too perfect to talk to anyone in Jess' condition."
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"when you freak out and you go crawling back..."
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"and you just make everything messy and horrible."
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"- I'm not gonna do that. - You have "backslider" written all over."
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"Did I tell you my boss invited me to play poker with him tonight?"
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"Crazy thing, he never invites anybody to play poker with him."
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"- I'm in the prime of my life. - Winston, shut up."
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"- I need my phone. - No."
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"I need to call Russell to tell him I left my pajamas there."
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"The fact that you are wearing pajamas..."
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"Don't fake me out."
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"- Are you guys playing a game? - No."
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"- Hey. - What can I get you?"
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"How about one of those Nick Miller Manhattans?"
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"Ah, straight bourbon in a plastic cup."
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"Heh-heh. - Come with me."
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"- Think we should show him the DVD? - What DVD?"
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"Nick made a DVD after the last time Caroline broke up with him."
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"All the reasons why they shouldn't get back together."
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"- We hid it somewhere in the loft. - Ooh, intrigue. Mama like."
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"I don't know that we... Cece's here."
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"Why is she dressed like a Women's Studies major?"
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"It's precautionary, just until my junk heals."
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"Ow. Owie."
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"Damn it."
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"- You okay? - No, I'm not okay."
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"- What is going on, Jess? - I was thinking about this word..."
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"that I learned from Schmidt: Backsliding."
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"So you're saying I'm a backslider?"
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"I don't know what we're supposed to do together. Everything turns you on."
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"Oh, look, Cece, a bird. Ow. Ah, damn it."
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"Schmidt, it's a mother bird in her nest."
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"- Must I say it, Cece? - What?"
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"- The eggs. - Okay."
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"Okay, sure. Look, did Caroline physically, mentally..."
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"and emotionally abuse me for years?"
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"Yes."
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"But she changed."
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"It's about timing. And the first time around, we weren't ready to work at it..."
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"and now we are."
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"And besides, Caroline is way hotter than that voice in my head..."
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"who sounds like Tom Waits and tells me I'm a failure and I look bad in hats."
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"I don't wanna spend my whole life with him. You know what I mean?"
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"Okay."
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"You'll get a break from me tomorrow."
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"- I've got to go visit my dadi. - What?"
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"- My grandmother. - Your bubbe?"
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"- Yes, my... - I have a bubbe."
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"- My bubbe is in a home. - Old people freak me out."
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"With their hands and their legs..."
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"They're like the human version of pleated pants."
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"- Really? - Hey, Schmidt."
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"- Hey. - Can I borrow yourjacket?"
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"- Yeah, sure. - Thanks."
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"You aren't into old people?"
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"Not at all. I mean, just horrible."
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"Like giant walking raisins. They're in a home..."
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"It's me. I've been thinking a lot about you."
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"- Jess? - Mm?"
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