Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Veep - Alicia (S03E03)

"I was just telling her how special she is."
Veep
"Like, who's this lady in the back row? I don't even know her."
Veep
"Her? Just beat cancer."
Veep
"like finger or skin. Not one of the hard ones."
Veep
"Are they all as special as me?"
Veep
"- No. No, no, no. - No. Are you kidding?"
Veep
"I don't see any scars."
Veep
"- to switch places, please. - Heroic Restaurateur!"
Veep
"Ooh, I just made an omelet, I'm a hero!"
Veep
"Oh, Halo has to pee."
Veep
"Hey, Amy, where are the chaperones?"
Veep
"The St. Joseph's Children's Choir"
Veep
"I can take you, I'm going that way anyway."
Veep
"So why don't you come with me? Do I take her hand?"
Veep
"- Yes, hold Miss Amy's hand. - Amy was born to be with kids."
Veep
"- Well, peeing is fun! - There you go."
Veep
"- All right. This is my spot? - Okay, are we ready?"
Veep
"I feel good! Thank you all for being here."
Veep
"- You look like a pretty toy soldier. - Okay, don't do a salute."
Veep
"- Ma'am, may I present your VIPs? - Oh, Karen!"
Veep
"I loved you on Saturday Night Live. You were hysterical."
Veep
"That wasn't me, though. But wasn't it funny? So funny!"
Veep
"- We get to meet each other at last! - Yes!"
Veep
"- She's the one who... - Wonderful!"
Veep
"I am passionate about universal child care."
Veep
"- Ma'am, I am so glad to talk to you. - You should also know..."
Veep
"- That's a little distracting. - Yeah, it is. It's distracting."
Veep
"- So distracting. - Yeah, so quit it."
Veep
"Ma'am, I didn't get a chance to say on the phone,"
Veep
"but 38% of our kids have no regular child care arrangements."
Veep
"- 38%. Ugh. - Two out of every five kids."
Veep
"- I'm glad you echo my concerns. - No, I do."
Veep
"I echo your concerns."
Veep
"I'm gonna see you soon, and that's 100%."
Veep
"I will, ma'am... 100%!"
Veep
"Okay, where've you been?"
Veep
"Okay, great pee!"
Veep
"- tail napkin. Yeah, you heard me. - Dan. Amy."
Veep
"- Shit, I gotta go. - Senator Doyle."
Veep
"right now and it is right now right now."
Veep
"- Dan, you take this... right now. - What?"
Veep
"No, I can't talk 'cause I'm on another call."
Veep
"- You guys are an inspiration. - No, not this one."
Veep
"Mike, I need Dee. She's outside, I need her to watch Halo."
Veep
"Yeah, it's good, except this order's wrong because"
Veep
"you can't have hospital after military."
Veep
"But you wanted military first."
Veep
"Yeah, I know, but you can't have"
Veep
"hospitals after war. That's what I'm saying."
Veep
"'Cause then they sound like they're the result of war."
Veep
"It's the curse of the unintended narrative."
Veep
"Yes!"
Veep
"Like those Tibetan throat singers, Dan."
Veep
"Ma'am, you gotta dump the universal child care."
Veep
"You pledge this, you can forget about having a navy."
Veep
"I'm just mentioning Alicia Bryce by name."
Veep
"I am not appointing her to my joint chiefs of staff."
Veep
"Do I look like I rode in on the last fuck truck, Selina?"
Veep
"You are smuggling in universal child care."
Veep
"You sound paranoid, okay?"
Veep
"So we can say anything now? We can say we can heal the sick."
Veep
"We can turn water into blowjobs."
Veep
"- All right, we're done here. - Selina, play it safe."
Veep
"Put the AARP on those steps. Seniors vote."
Veep
"They've got nothing else to do."
Veep
"I've got a senior up there. I'm looking right at him."
Veep
"- What? - Excuse me, I gotta take this call."
Veep
"It's from a senior member of the party that you hope to lead."
Veep
"What do you want me to do?"
Veep
"You want me to be some sort of a party puppet?"
Veep
"You can stick your hand up my ass and work my mouth?"
Veep
"- Yes, please! - Gosh!"
Veep
"while I was just getting ear-fucked by Father Time?"
Veep
"- Senator Doyle is correct, ma'am. - No, he's not!"
Veep
"The gray vote is a given, but universal child care?"
Veep
"That spooks the horses."
Veep
"Seniors are the easy vote. Child care is a principle."
Veep
"No, the Dee don't stand for anything."
Veep
"That's like me askin' you what does the Mike stand for?"
Veep
"It stands for Mike kinda guy."
Veep
"Honey, I dropped the kids?"
Veep
"What? Oh, no, no."
Veep
"The chaperone said the choir will sing, Leon."
Veep
"No, universal child care. Rumor has it Selina's dropping it."
Veep
"- Wait, what? - Absolutely not."
Veep
"- It is a priority for the vice president. - It better be."
Veep
"Who's the bulldog, new campaign manager?"
Veep
"My name is Dee. And you're what, fucking nobody?"
Veep
"'Cause don't nobody talk to Dee like that, okay?"
Veep
"- Let's go, Dee. That was a good put-down. - It was okay."
Veep
"- Oh, crap in my lap. - What? What is it?"
Veep
"- What? - They're gonna do another sketch."
Veep
"Wait a minute."
Veep
"- They're gonna what? - Is this your doing?"
Veep
"Did you give them this idea, Dan?"
Veep
"I don't do offended, but I am... affronted that you'd even think that."
Veep
"- Fucking comedians. - Fucking comedians."
Veep
"I'll tell you what happens. They get bullied when they're little at school,"
Veep
"and then they perpetuate the cycle by bullying me."
Veep
"I'm gonna take care of this. I'm gonna call those fucking nerds right now."
Veep
"Sorry I was late. I was giving that speech at..."
Veep
"Oh! Great minds think alike!"
Veep
"You look like you're in one of those body swap comedies."
Veep
"Nice to see you too."
Veep
"This makes me look like I'm some sort of a crazy person"
Veep
"that was deliberately trying to make us look like twins."
Veep
"Why don't you change?"
Veep
"Huh? Is that a joke?"
Veep
"This is my day."
Veep
"I mean, you know?"
Veep
"Cute... Li'l Selina."
Veep
"and they're stuck in traffic, so we may not make it to the steps."
Veep
"You hear that?"
Veep
"Are you threatening me?"
Veep
"Oh, no. Traffic is really bad,"
Veep
"So I'm supposed to let a bunch of dead-eyed white guys..."
Veep
"shit all over absolutely everything that I stand for."
Veep
"Huh? Mm-mm."
Veep
"- Okay. - Oh-hh-kay."
Veep
"God!"
Veep
Show more clips