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Clips from Veep - Alicia (S03E03)

"- Oh, my God. - She's a really big fan of yours, Alicia."
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"patiently waiting to speak with you."
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"I'm doing the speech outside, all right?"
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"All great speeches are done outside."
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"- Which was fantastic. - Which was fucking fantastic."
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"Ma'am. Ma'am, it's Amy. She sounds uncomfortable."
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"- Like she's with a member of the public. - Okay."
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"Okay, space? We're not going to be dealing with space"
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"as an issue in the speech."
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"Space is bold, but safe at the same time."
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"There are no votes in space. There's nothing there."
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"- Hi, Ame. - I'm gonna pass you onto Alicia, ma'am."
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"- Alicia? - Alicia Keys?"
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"Alicia Bryce, that's right, ma'am!"
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"- She loves you. - Oh, Alicia Bryce!"
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"She's doing the Walk To The White House."
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"I know, right. She wants universal child care, right?"
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"- I know who she is. - Child care, exactly."
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"Hi-i-i!"
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"- Hi-ii, Madam Vice President. - How are you?"
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"I want you to know universal child care is something"
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"Thank you so much for being a part of all of it."
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"I'm very honored. Thank you."
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"Okay. Bye-bye."
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"- Ma'am? - Yeah."
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"Yeah, we are delighted too!"
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"Ma'am. Child care?"
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"Children are of no value. Forget child care."
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"Children are vital, Kenny Rogers."
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"We're not all planning to die alone like you."
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"So you excited to be here?"
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"If your girl makes president, you guys double your pay, right?"
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"- I don't know. Do we, Amy? - That's not how it works."
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"The vice president is so happy that we found you, Alicia."
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"Kent, this is Alicia Bryce, the universal child care lady."
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"- Hi. - Sure."
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"Don't worry, he's like that with all the humans."
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"He thinks you're great. I'm just gonna remind him."
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"Leon, today is a very high-pressure day,"
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"and as you know me, I don't even like high-pressure showers."
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"I thought maybe it was your panic."
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"He's kidding. I shower, of course."
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"And you like to use a lot cologne. Like a lot of cologne."
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"- Axe Body Spray, right, Mike? - Okay, guys?"
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"If we could put Mr. West back in the press area"
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"and keep him there? Thank you."
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"- Sue Wilson. - Oh."
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"What does a red sticker mean?"
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"I'm like a target for snipers?"
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"Ma'am, I spoke to Senator Doyle earlier,"
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"and he offered his input on configuration of guests."
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"Doyle? You're kidding me. I'd rather get advice from a fucking Ouija board."
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"Sue, where's Catherine?"
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"Dan, this rewrite kicks balls and ass."
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"It's beautifully put together... like me."
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"- Oh, thank God. - We just have a couple of tweaks."
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"Yeah, it is. It's structurally very sound."
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"We just need to nail the wording, okay?"
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"This Saturday Night Live shitstorm"
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"has just hit nine on the Sphincter Scale."
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"- The sketch? - Yeah. Three million hits."
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"Oh, those shit stains."
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"So what? I had a horse as a kid. Who didn't?"
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"- Mmm... - I mean, have a pet is what I meant."
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"Well, ma'am, in your book, you say that pony grooming"
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"- I did say that, 'cause they do. - That's funny!"
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"No, I don't watch this show. It's completely juvenile."
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"What are you doing, honey?"
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"I'm learning how hard it is to be a farmer."
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"It's really, really hard!"
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"Finished!"
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"Like I always say, nothing less funny than a comedian."
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"Ma'am, the thing to do in this situation is you own it."
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"You go on the show, and you own it."
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"Are you kidding me, Dan?"
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"If somebody takes a shit in your car, what are you gonna do?"
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"through the sunroof? I don't think so, buddy."
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"Get on the phone to SNL and fix this."
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"- Ma'am, this has speech implications... - Oh, please."
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"Sue, can I impose myself on your diagram over here?"
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"- Wait a minute. - That's funny, Sue."
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"- What are you saying? - Well, thanks to Saturday Night Live,"
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"we need to take Disabled Farmer off the steps."
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"- No, we don't. - You gotta take him out of the speech."
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"- So, Dan, you got to lose... - Yup."
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"So now we need to replace Disabled Farmer with somebody else."
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"- No, you're not going to replace him. - Wait, shit, you know what?"
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"We can't lose the farmer. If we do that,"
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"we gotta get rid of the Sensitive New York Fitness Guy, and then"
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"- That's right. - We need to rewrite the speech!"
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"I can't rewrite the rewrite, Kent. I'm still writing it."
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"go live in Oregon and make quilts with my mother. She could use the help."
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"Okay? Exactly. For the first time in four years,"
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"You start picking this thing apart, and what am I left as?"
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"Some sort of optimistic warmonger with a soft spot for educated gays."
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"What's the hold-up?"
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"President Lincoln should be back from the theater by now."
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"- Give me one of those. - Legit journalists only."
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"Yeah, not some pissant who narrowcasts"
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"libelous poison from his mother's phone."
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"Know what, Leon? I'm the future of news media, so..."
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"- Mike, this is just a press release. - No, it's not."
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"Oh, yeah, real professional, Mike."
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"- Jonad! Jonad! - I'll find my own."
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"Hi. Is there someplace we're supposed to be?"
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"Sorry, yeah. Just yelling at the media. Yes, yes, yes."
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"Oh, hey, Steps VIPs. You guys are an inspiration."
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"- Thank you. - Put your boss on the phone,"
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"or I will sauté your sack, you SNL shitstick."
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"Red Stickers assemble!"
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"That was Sue. She says it's time for you guys"
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"- to become Steps Superstars! - Yay!"
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"- I need all Steps VIPs, please! - That's you!"
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"- You dared to dream. - That's anyone with a red sticker!"
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"Are you ready? Come on. Here we go."
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"Mike, half of America just came in."
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"This is like Black Friday at Wal-Mart."
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"No, no, these people are filler, you are killer. Seriously."
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"You are a big... Gary, come here."
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"I wanted you to meet Alicia."
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