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Clips from NewsRadio - Awards Show (S03E03)

Excuse me, but hello.

"Excuse me, but hello."

NewsRadio

of sugar on the table.

"of sugar on the table."

NewsRadio

Oh, so Joe the electrician is now Joe the ant expert?

"Oh, so Joe the electrician is now Joe the ant expert?"

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Okay. Well, Matthew, don't just stand there.

"Okay. Well, Matthew, don't just stand there."

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Over here. We're with you.

"Over here. We're with you."

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Okay, so you're saying

"Okay, so you're saying"

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So, what do you do?

"So, what do you do?"

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[SCRATCHING]

"[SCRATCHING]"

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No. Unfortunately, I was pretty sure it was you.

"No. Unfortunately, I was pretty sure it was you."

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Seriously, I want you to get back in there,

"Seriously, I want you to get back in there,"

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All right. And finally--

"All right. And finally--"

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I believe Dave is referring to

"I believe Dave is referring to"

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because we are all gonna lose in every possible category.

"because we are all gonna lose in every possible category."

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of bringin' home some ABSAs tonight.

"of bringin' home some ABSAs tonight."

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DAVE: Joe, what kind of attitude is that?

"DAVE: Joe, what kind of attitude is that?"

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Then again, maybe I could.

"Then again, maybe I could."

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Put it in the cup. Put it in the cup!

"Put it in the cup. Put it in the cup!"

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[LAUGHS]

"[LAUGHS]"

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I've got a pretty good feeling that tonight, uh--

"I've got a pretty good feeling that tonight, uh--"

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You have a different way of showing it.

"You have a different way of showing it."

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It's their pessimism. It's so overwhelming.

"It's their pessimism. It's so overwhelming."

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Of course we do.

"Of course we do."

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So why do they think we're gonna lose?

"So why do they think we're gonna lose?"

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Oh, face it, Dave, WYXP is gonna win everything.

"Oh, face it, Dave, WYXP is gonna win everything."

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Why do you think they call him Marty "The Party" Jackson?

"Why do you think they call him Marty "The Party" Jackson?"

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Well, I'll tell you this much, the party is over.

"Well, I'll tell you this much, the party is over."

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Oh, well, here, let me show you this.

"Oh, well, here, let me show you this."

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a few months back.

"a few months back."

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Me? No, me.

"Me? No, me."

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Although it could apply to you.

"Although it could apply to you."

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that a good Marty party does not an ABSA make.

"that a good Marty party does not an ABSA make."

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Dave, they're called American

"Dave, they're called American"

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Absolutely, sir.

"Absolutely, sir."

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You know, it doesn't really matter what you call it.

"You know, it doesn't really matter what you call it."

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I think the real problem here is the attitude of this staff.

"I think the real problem here is the attitude of this staff."

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Oh, got a little "glass half empty-itis" goin' on, huh?

"Oh, got a little "glass half empty-itis" goin' on, huh?"

NewsRadio

Put a little fight in their eyes? Please.

"Put a little fight in their eyes? Please."

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Wow.

"Wow."

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see somebody about that. I hear Bill's got a great guy.

"see somebody about that. I hear Bill's got a great guy."

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have you given any thought

"have you given any thought"

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to what you might be wearing tonight?

"to what you might be wearing tonight?"

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Yeah. I'm gonna wear the same thing

"Yeah. I'm gonna wear the same thing"

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and a big foam hand that says "We're number one."

"and a big foam hand that says "We're number one.""

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I mean, you do know that everyone is probably

"I mean, you do know that everyone is probably"

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You do. You think I'm a guy who thinks dressing up

"You do. You think I'm a guy who thinks dressing up"

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to tell him the word is "cummerbund."

"to tell him the word is "cummerbund.""

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Is there ever a good time for that, really?

"Is there ever a good time for that, really?"

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I hear you. That's embarrassing.

"I hear you. That's embarrassing."

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I need you to back me up on this whole ant thing.

"I need you to back me up on this whole ant thing."

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Oh, did you, uh...

"Oh, did you, uh..."

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Bring some of your little ant friends with you?

"Bring some of your little ant friends with you?"

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No. I, um...

"No. I, um..."

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And I-- And I have every reason to believe

"And I-- And I have every reason to believe"

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Are you coming on to me?

"Are you coming on to me?"

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and locked me in the cabinet.

"and locked me in the cabinet."

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I would.

"I would."

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if I take a look at the welts on your buttocks,

"if I take a look at the welts on your buttocks,"

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then Dave is gonna want me to look

"then Dave is gonna want me to look"

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Wait, Beth.

"Wait, Beth."

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"I don't care how smart he is. No 29-year-old kid

""I don't care how smart he is. No 29-year-old kid"

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Maybe I can help you out here, Dave.

"Maybe I can help you out here, Dave."

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I hope they're not the kind that bite.

"I hope they're not the kind that bite."

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I thought you'd never ask. Would you take a look at this?

"I thought you'd never ask. Would you take a look at this?"

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May-- Maybe I can help you out here again.

"May-- Maybe I can help you out here again."

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But did he give up?

"But did he give up?"

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And after two months he got a hernia.

"And after two months he got a hernia."

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That kid's name.

"That kid's name."

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What the hell's his middle name got to do with anything?

"What the hell's his middle name got to do with anything?"

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"The Great Communicator" for nothing.

""The Great Communicator" for nothing."

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Hey, Joe.

"Hey, Joe."

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No.

"No."

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No-- Wait a minute. Does it?

"No-- Wait a minute. Does it?"

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No. Anyway,

"No. Anyway,"

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Needless to say, I didn't get the job.

"Needless to say, I didn't get the job."

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Right, sir. The lesson is, that it's not about the clothes,

"Right, sir. The lesson is, that it's not about the clothes,"

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The man inside. The man inside.

"The man inside. The man inside."

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Amen! You make me proud.

"Amen! You make me proud."

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since I've been doing the colon cleansing.

"since I've been doing the colon cleansing."

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Well, you-- You look terrific, Bill.

"Well, you-- You look terrific, Bill."

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And well... Well.

"And well... Well."

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If you don't look like...?

"If you don't look like...?"

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CATHERINE: Does anyone know

"CATHERINE: Does anyone know"

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what Joe's wearing?

"what Joe's wearing?"

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Marty Jackson? More like Marty "Hackson."

"Marty Jackson? More like Marty "Hackson.""

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"Remove safety tab." Yeah, duh.

""Remove safety tab." Yeah, duh."

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"Use only one can per room"?

""Use only one can per room"?"

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Oh, thank God.

"Oh, thank God."

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[AS SEAN CONNERY] My name is Garrelli. Joe Garrelli.

"[AS SEAN CONNERY] My name is Garrelli. Joe Garrelli."

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You know, that reminds me of the time

"You know, that reminds me of the time"

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Let's rock 'n' roll, people. Come on.

"Let's rock 'n' roll, people. Come on."

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Wait till Marty Jackson gets a load of us.

"Wait till Marty Jackson gets a load of us."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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New York City radio has to offer.

"New York City radio has to offer."

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Laugh it up.

"Laugh it up."

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everybody knows it.

"everybody knows it."

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Joe, that was inappropriate. Yeah, I know.

"Joe, that was inappropriate. Yeah, I know."

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Do you believe him? Trying to bust a move on you?

"Do you believe him? Trying to bust a move on you?"

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God, you are pathetic. I'm pathetic?

"God, you are pathetic. I'm pathetic?"

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Can I get a drink, please?

"Can I get a drink, please?"

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How 'bout you call it a night, huh?

"How 'bout you call it a night, huh?"

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And the award for segment producer of the year

"And the award for segment producer of the year"

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for an all-new station goes to:

"for an all-new station goes to:"

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Bill McNeal, WNYX. BILL: Yes!

"Bill McNeal, WNYX. BILL: Yes!"

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WNYX.

"WNYX."

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What are you talking about?

"What are you talking about?"

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No, I got like five or six

"No, I got like five or six"

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I have to admit, you were right.

"I have to admit, you were right."

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Thank you, Catherine. BETH: Yeah, Dave.

"Thank you, Catherine. BETH: Yeah, Dave."

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And then the name of that kid was Richard Nixon.

"And then the name of that kid was Richard Nixon."

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of another presidential football anecdote.

"of another presidential football anecdote."

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No, no. It sure doesn't, sir.

"No, no. It sure doesn't, sir."

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but this, you know.

"but this, you know."

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I won.

"I won."

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Can I get you another drink?

"Can I get you another drink?"

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the bites of the common red ant.

"the bites of the common red ant."

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Positive. You know,

"Positive. You know,"

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"Home Run" Barker. Wow.

""Home Run" Barker. Wow."

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Why do you think that is?

"Why do you think that is?"

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there's no karaoke machine. There's no beer nuts.

"there's no karaoke machine. There's no beer nuts."

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and stare him down like Sonny Liston.

"and stare him down like Sonny Liston."

NewsRadio

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