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Clips from Teenage Euthanasia - Dada M.I.A. (S01E01)

"- You say that, but a dune buggy and a tea cup Yorkie"
Teenage Euthanasia
"can sure do wonders for the self-esteem."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hello, Father. Yo, Pop!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"It's me, P-Dawg!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Hello, Daddy. Why did you abandon me?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I can't wait to meet my dad and find out"
Teenage Euthanasia
"what kind of a man I really am."
Teenage Euthanasia
"All my life, I've just been the rugged type."
Teenage Euthanasia
"But I dunno, maybe I'm actually the podcast guy."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Or the yoga-class playah. Or the guy with a pipe!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- All will be revealed."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Shoo. - Oh, my gosh."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Are we in a graveyard because my father..."
Teenage Euthanasia
"is dead? - Not dead,"
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"just already lived."
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"I know it's one of these graves, but, eh..."
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"yeah, Baba forget which one?"
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"- This one? - No."
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"- This one? This one? - No. No."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- This one? This one? This one? - No. No. No."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- This one? This one? - No. No."
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"See? Baba fun. It like game."
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"- A game? Okay."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Chimes ] - Ho, ho, ho!"
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"Bop it to hear more."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Back in my day, a man could be anything he wanted to be,"
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"as long as he worked hard"
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"and didn't spend any time with his family."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Ask me anything about my life."
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"- Are you my father?"
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"- Ehhh!"
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"- I'd stay and chat, but I gotta find my dad."
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"I can't wait to find out if my fear of grilled cheese"
Teenage Euthanasia
"and women my own age is genetic."
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"- Whew. They had me worried I was the father for a second there."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You had an affair with my funeral director?"
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"- Well, caskets ain't cheap, Mary."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Okay, eleventh question --"
Teenage Euthanasia
"do you think gummy bears are friends with each other."
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"- It'd be messed up if they weren't."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Yes! Okay, question 12 -- what's the difference"
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"between ketchup and mustard, in your own words."
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"- Enough. Listen, Kirk, we're playing"
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""Daddy, it's Me! Florida Edition.""
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"You came up as Annie's potential father."
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"- Oh, right! I always felt like we had a connection, Annie."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Like, we're talking about corn dogs,"
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"but we're actually talking about not corn dog?"
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"- Yes! - We need a DNA sample."
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"For old times' sake, how 'bout we go in the back room"
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"and you squirt in my sizzler?"
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"- As long as I can bring my hot dog roller."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Gotta keep an eye on 'em. - I can do it."
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"Might as well start getting acquainted"
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"with the "family" business."
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"- Thanks, Annie. Mm."
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"- Ow! Ow! Ow!"
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"♪♪"
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"So, you're gonna have to do that with all 15 possible fathers?"
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"- No! There's a breathalyzer game piece that reads their DNA."
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"I just wanted to see if Kirk's penis"
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"looks as weird as I remembered. - Ew."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Like a single piece of raw bacon,"
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"but he sure seems like he could Daddy you all night long."
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"[ Squelches, beeping ]"
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"-Not your daddy! - Hmm."
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"You know what? That's okay."
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"Maybe Kirk and I are better off as just friends."
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"Who's next? - Only 14 fathers to go."
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"- Lonny! From Blissful Passings!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Your high school sweetheart. I bet it's him."
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"-Only 90 minutes in heavy traffic,"
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"and you'll arrive at Lonny's door to find out the truth!"
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"- I doubt he's your father -- getting pregnant"
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"on a Tilt-A-Whirl is almost impossible."
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"♪♪"
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"- [ Panting ]"
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"- In! - Ah!"
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"A grave on an island!"
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"That's got to be my dad!"
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"He's all alone, but not lonely."
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"Remind you of anyone?"
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"C'mon, Baba!"
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"Dad, your son is on your shore."
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"Oh, my God -- his cause of death"
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"was getting eaten by an alligator."
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"- Eaten. Yes."
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"- But wait, it says he died nine months before I was born."
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"Wait, how is that possible?!"
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"- Well, just as you were conceived, the gator,"
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"he chomp him off my body!"
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"- Oh, my God!"
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"This explains everything!"
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"My fear of gators!"
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"My fear of being conceived!"
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"[ Wailing ]"
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"[ Slide whistle descending scale ]"
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"Huh?! - Fooled you! Is not true."
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"See? Baba make finding dead father into good time."
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"Come on, back in boat. Baba paddle this time."
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"Hup!"
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"[ Huffing ]"
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"- Lonny sucks, and his wife sucks even more,"
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"but at least we know he's rich!"
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"- Pants on, please."
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"- You want to play the game"
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"or win the game?"
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"[ Doorbell chimes ]"
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"- Hello, sad little panda."
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"Please go away. We don't need any knives."
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"- No, wait. I'm playing a board game."
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"- Fine. I'll buy one knife."
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"- Oh. It's you."
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"- I wanted to say "Oh, it's you"!"
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"- The game revealed Lonny might be my father."
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"Also, is Joey home? - Joey's away at candle camp."
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"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear the other part."
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"- Oh, hey, Troph. Long time no --"
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""Daddy, It's Me!"? Unh-uh!"
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"I refuse to be breathalyzed."
Teenage Euthanasia
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