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Clips from Teenage Euthanasia - Dada M.I.A. (S01E01)

"[ Dice rattling ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Shucks, I got Poor Daddy."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Sweet, I got Rich Daddy!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Look, guys, I got Sexy Daddy."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Lucky! - Lucky!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"-Hey, kids, what are you playing?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- We're playing "Daddy, it's Me!""
Teenage Euthanasia
"- "Florida Edition"!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- This isn't your grandmother's simple,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"no-nonsense paternity test."
Teenage Euthanasia
""Daddy, it's Me!" is the fun and roundabout way"
Teenage Euthanasia
"to learn your birth father's identity."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I found him! My dad is Pizza Paul,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"owner and CEO of local pizzeria Pizza Paul's."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I usually go for pepperoni,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"but this time, I'll ask for hugs."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Learn your medical history."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Understand why you're ugly."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Plus, "Daddy, it's Me!" results are admissible in court,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"so Mom can finally get that child support."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Available wherever games are sold."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Welcome back to "Self-Inflicted Gunshot Bloopers.""
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Rapid gunshots, man screaming ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Mom? - Shh, shh, shh."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Watch the dumb people shoot themselves."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You know how you can never seem to remember"
Teenage Euthanasia
"who my father is?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"We should play "Daddy, it's Me, Florida Edition"!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Did you hear the part about child support?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Annie, if he could pay child support, I'd remember him."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Ah! We have no money for game."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I actually have a copy upstairs."
Teenage Euthanasia
"They gave it to me last month at the sperm doctor."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You're a sperm donor?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I keep trying to get rid of it,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"but it just keeps coming back."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Damn!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Well, I can't wait to find out who my dad is."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Maybe he's a typewriter salesman."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Or an insurance adjuster!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Gasps ] Or a cat trainer!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I could totally see your dad being a cat trainer, Annie."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Did the game say who your dad is?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Enough talking! - Trying to watch TV!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- I don't need to play a game, because I already know."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Baba's given me enough hints over the years."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Big mustache, glittery eyes."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Only one possibility: Tom Selleck."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Wow! He dated Monica. - Yeah."
Teenage Euthanasia
"He's where my effortless sexy comes from."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Damn!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Just tell him."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Alright, alright. Baba come clean."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Peter, father not Tom Selleck. - What?!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I guess that explains why I can't grow a mustache!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hey, you and Baba can play the game with me and Trophy."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Like a double date? - Board game not for Baba."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Dice are, ooh, sticky children cubes."
Teenage Euthanasia
"But you want meet father?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Come, I take you."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Yes! - Fine."
Teenage Euthanasia
"If you insist on finding your father, at least"
Teenage Euthanasia
"we can actually make it fun."
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Baby cries ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- ♪ I'm not as crazy as I used to be ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ Some of my devils up and left me free ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ To find a quiet space I'm not as out of place ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ And I'm coming home again"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ It's been too long a time gettin' back what's mine ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ And I can't remember why I went away ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"♪ But it's lookin' now like maybe I can stay ♪"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Is that any good?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"[ Bright chime ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Oh. What's with the no pants?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Since I don't remember them so much,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I want to make sure the potential dads remember me."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Plus, if the goal here is child support,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"this oughta get them reaching for their wallets."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- The goal is to find my father."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Yeah, well, let's try and make this interesting for both of us."
Teenage Euthanasia
"-Hey, Daddy! It's me --"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Euthanasia Fantasy. Annie for short."
Teenage Euthanasia
"-To begin, provide a Florida DNA sample from you"
Teenage Euthanasia
"and your biological mother. Use the included chaw --"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Yeah, yeah, we know what to do. [ Both spit ]"
Teenage Euthanasia
"-Damn, girl, looks like there are 15 possible fathers."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- 15?! So, you had intercourse experiences"
Teenage Euthanasia
"with 15 different men"
Teenage Euthanasia
"in the span of a single ovulation window?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"That's two to three different guys every day,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"an average of 2.5 men!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- If you saw some of these wieners,"
Teenage Euthanasia
"you'd get where the point-five comes in."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Mm, boom-shaka-laka!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"-Hold for a recent photo of Possible Daddy number 1."
Teenage Euthanasia
"-♪ Who's your daddy?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You slept with Kirk from the 9/11?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Honey, you are old enough to know the truth --"
Teenage Euthanasia
"there is no such thing as a free mini taquito."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- They're called taqui-teenies."
Teenage Euthanasia
"Dad knows that. - Or does he?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Proceed to the 9/11 to verify paternity."
Teenage Euthanasia
"But first, the game asks that you put on pants."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Geez, is this the Florida edition or the Huguenot edition?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"Get it?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I don't."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Hey, Annie! How'd the math test go?"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- A-minus -- I missed the last question because --"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You have a nervous bladder and had to run to the bathroom."
Teenage Euthanasia
"You'll get it next time, kiddo."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- You run out of stamps, Annie? - Nope!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'm going to find my father! - That's great."
Teenage Euthanasia
"I'm finally able to deliver the letters"
Teenage Euthanasia
"you've been sending him all these years!"
Teenage Euthanasia
"- Huh, seems like you spend all your free time"
Teenage Euthanasia
"cultivating father-figure relationships."
Teenage Euthanasia
"You should just do what I did at your age --"
Teenage Euthanasia
"funnel your daddy issues into fucking"
Teenage Euthanasia
"old dudes for designer clothes."
Teenage Euthanasia
"- That's what I'm trying to avoid."
Teenage Euthanasia
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