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Clips from Axe Cop - The Rabbit Who Broke All the Rules (S01E01)

"You know, the first time I chopped a head off,"
Axe Cop
"I was eight years old."
Axe Cop
"He'd been breaking all the rabbit rules."
Axe Cop
"So I chopped its head off."
Axe Cop
"so I hid his head in my favorite lunch box"
Axe Cop
"That was my first time being a hero."
Axe Cop
"Son!? Where do you think you're going?"
Axe Cop
"If we wanna buy more bullets, we're going to have to get second jobs."
Axe Cop
"I will be your foster dad"
Axe Cop
"I know."
Axe Cop
"Oh, Axe Cop! Last year, me and a couple buddies"
Axe Cop
"- How much does it cost? - $15."
Axe Cop
"Whoo-hoo!"
Axe Cop
"And the second-best brunch is at lucky Lucy's saloon."
Axe Cop
"'cause they run out of French toast fast."
Axe Cop
"What the heck?"
Axe Cop
"In my 20 years of working here"
Axe Cop
"I lost everything in the casinos of Las Vegas."
Axe Cop
"so that leaves me with no choice."
Axe Cop
"I can't be your dad."
Axe Cop
"and then decide you don't want him."
Axe Cop
"Hmmm, my tri-annual learn out for kids"
Axe Cop
"follow him to cabin "B.""
Axe Cop
"Who's ready to go nuts?!"
Axe Cop
"If you're here for Grey Diamond's "best friend" seminar,"
Axe Cop
"And if you're here for the axe learn out,"
Axe Cop
"There's no way he could be my foster son."
Axe Cop
"I know you can do it, Axe Cop."
Axe Cop
"and fed me an axe star energy drink."
Axe Cop
"super fast."
Axe Cop
"But it was so fast, my axe was invisible."
Axe Cop
"is the only thing that gives me"
Axe Cop
"Jo-oooy!"
Axe Cop
"keep going to jump school every year."
Axe Cop
"I jumped all the way into outer space."
Axe Cop
"when most everyone has none."
Axe Cop
"Spinning tornado kick!"
Axe Cop
"It's time for you to become a hero,"
Axe Cop
"So, when he strolls out here, casually eating a coconut,"
Axe Cop
"that's when I want you to chop his head off."
Axe Cop
"It's time. Do it now."
Axe Cop
"And now I'm back to kill you."
Axe Cop
"You're the soul of the rabbit that broke all the rules?"
Axe Cop
"I'll chop your head off again!"
Axe Cop
"Wrong."
Axe Cop
"There's one kick I didn't teach you"
Axe Cop
"because it didn't exist until now."
Axe Cop
"was walk around"
Axe Cop
"I learned that if you're going to kill something,"
Axe Cop
"Yeah, that sounds about right."
Axe Cop
"Now I can."
Axe Cop
"Last name "Rabbit,""
Axe Cop
"Ah, hold on."
Axe Cop
"It sounds wrong."
Axe Cop
"Oops, missed one."
Axe Cop
"It was a rabbit."
Axe Cop
"Everyone knows rabbits hop and eat carrots."
Axe Cop
"And ate coconuts."
Axe Cop
"and tossed it into the water."
Axe Cop
"Good talk."
Axe Cop
"You know the rules, kiddo!"
Axe Cop
"So he had tryouts and hired a partner."
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop - 01x06 The Rabbit Who Broke All the Rules"
Axe Cop
"Oooh chihuahua, Axe Cop,"
Axe Cop
"don't kill the messenger, but I got some bad news."
Axe Cop
"Our gun bill was through the roof last month. Holy cow."
Axe Cop
"Hey, Flute Cop,"
Axe Cop
"what's the kind of dad that gets paid to be a dad?"
Axe Cop
"I think you're talking about a foster dad."
Axe Cop
"Problem solved, Flute Cop."
Axe Cop
"and I'll use the money to buy bullets."
Axe Cop
"Or not. Axe Cop,"
Axe Cop
"as a dad I have to say this, I just have to say it:"
Axe Cop
"raising a child is a huge responsibility."
Axe Cop
"That's why I'm going to find him a mom to take care of him."
Axe Cop
"found out about this place out in the deserts of Las Vegas"
Axe Cop
"where for a small fee, they'll set you up with a girl."
Axe Cop
"You two stay here and babysit my foster son."
Axe Cop
"Grey Diamond and I are going to Las Vegas."
Axe Cop
"They have a roller coaster on top of a hotel."
Axe Cop
"Hello, welcome to the perfect match machine and wedding chapel."
Axe Cop
"Gimme that! I love paperwork."
Axe Cop
"One time me and my buddy filled out like 10 forms at once."
Axe Cop
"- It was like, what? - Now step into the machine."
Axe Cop
"It will scan your brain and find your perfect match."
Axe Cop
"You are the ultimate man."
Axe Cop
"Tell me something I don't know, Todd."
Axe Cop
"- good enough for Axe Cop. - Let's get outta here, Grey Diamond."
Axe Cop
"Awesome! That gives us some time to hit the strip"
Axe Cop
"and try our luck on some games of chance."
Axe Cop
"Wexter!"
Axe Cop
"Foster kid, I couldn't find you a mom in Las Vegas"
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop, you just can't foster a child"
Axe Cop
"You need to take some responsibility."
Axe Cop
"- is coming up this weekend. - Oh, that's perfect!"
Axe Cop
"That would really give you two some father-foster son bonding time."
Axe Cop
"the ultimate man,"
Axe Cop
"he could be the ultimate son!"
Axe Cop
"Now the thing to consider when picking a best friend"
Axe Cop
"is who lives closest to your house."
Axe Cop
"I said dinosaurs follow wexter!"
Axe Cop
"Right."
Axe Cop
"Right."
Axe Cop
"- Wrong! - Whoa whoa whoa!"
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop, can I have a quick word with you?"
Axe Cop
"You got to lighten up on that kid."
Axe Cop
"How about instead of yelling at him,"
Axe Cop
"you show him how to improve."
Axe Cop
"But he's terrible at everything."
Axe Cop
"The kid just needs some encouragement."
Axe Cop
"Psst, kid, you asleep?"
Axe Cop
"I have three world records."
Axe Cop
"and 1,000 blades came out."
Axe Cop
"The second is for being the world's fastest chopper."
Axe Cop
"I pushed a button on my chest"
Axe Cop
"and a robotic arm came out"
Axe Cop
"I ran past 1,000 bad guys"
Axe Cop
"Wait, what?"
Axe Cop
"My third world record was the hardest to get."
Axe Cop
"I went to jump school,"
Axe Cop
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