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Clips from South Park - Red Hot Catholic Love (S06E06)

"he's going to be persecuted for his beliefs."
South Park
"That's true."
South Park
"If I'm going to raise my son to be atheist,"
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"I don't want him saying "under God" every day at school."
South Park
"That could really damage him!"
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"Hhhhwaaaa..."
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""Under God" should be taken out of the pledge of allegiance."
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"Yup! Yup! I agree."
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"And it should be taken off of money as well."
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"The religious right in this country"
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"Hwaaaaaagh..."
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"And we can't let the religious right corrupt our kids!"
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"Yeah! Yeah! That's right."
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"Cardinals, bishops and priests!"
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"Father Maxi has returned!"
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"And he has the holy document of the Vatican law!"
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"How did he make it past the water lizards?"
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"so can we please change it now"
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"to say it's not okay to have sex with boys?"
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"Wait, wait!"
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"The pope says we shall ask the highest source!"
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"Ahhhh!"
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"Oh my!"
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"The holy one!"
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"So sayeth the spider."
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"Go on, priest Maxi, see if you can convince her."
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"You people have completely lost touch with the outside world!"
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"You sit in this big room with your Gelgameks and your queen spider"
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"But the holy document of Vatican law states that--"
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"To hell with the holy document of Vatican law!"
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"Yay, Kyle's money."
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"Cartman, there's something I need to tell you."
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"You were totally, 100% right."
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"You were totally accurate"
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"about being able to crap out your mouth,"
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"I want you to enjoy that money because"
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"you really impressed me with your insight,"
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"and I'm proud to have you as a friend."
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"You son-of-a-bitch, Kyle! I hate you!"
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"Down with God! Yeah! Atheists rule!"
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"Great news, Stan, the Vatican is burning down!"
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"Score one for us atheists!"
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"Come on, Tweek, we're gonna go watch on TV!"
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"Gone... It's all gone."
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"Well, thanks a lot, Father Maxi, you've killed our religion."
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"No, I didn't!"
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"All that's dead are your stupid laws and rules."
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"You've forgotten what being a Catholic is all about:"
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"This book..."
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"Stories that are meant to help guide people in the right direction."
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"Love your neighbor, be a good person."
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"And when you start turning the stories"
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"into literal translations of hierarchies and power,"
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"well... well you end up with this!"
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"People are losing faith because"
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"they don't see how what you've turned the religion into applies to them."
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"They've lost touch with any idea of any kind of religion,"
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"and when they have no mythology to try and live their lives by,"
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"they just start spewing a bunch of crap out of their mouths!"
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"Look, I'm proud to be a Catholic."
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"But I am a Catholic in the real world,"
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"in today's world."
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"It's time for you all to do that too."
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"It is time... for change."
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"He's right, Sharon."
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"We don't have to believe every word of the Bible"
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"they're just stories to help us live by."
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"We shouldn't toss away the lessons of the Bible"
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"just because some assholes in Italy screwed it up."
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"Oh, Randy, I don't want to put food up my butt anymore."
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"Does this mean we have to go to church on Sundays again?"
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"No... it means we get to, son."
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"It means we get to."
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"Hwaaaaa..."
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"We can't let them go, can we?"
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"Yeah! Uh-huh! That's right!"
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"The holy document of Vatican law states that"
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"and filled with razor-sharp teeth!"
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"Everyone knows that some foods are simple to shove up the ass;"
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"This must be it..."
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"You see, these are just stories."
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"It's over, okay? I won, let it go."
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"Alright then, it's settled."
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"without really telling them what's going on."
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"- Alright! - Yeah!"
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"- Hello there, children! - Chef!"
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"How do you mean?"
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"- No! - That's good."
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"and most kinds of stomach cancers."
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"Well, it's true, what do a bunch of stories"
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"The Vatican rules cannot be changed."
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"Behold the great queen spider!"
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"and swim in them all day long!"
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"Ooh, what's that, Kyle?"
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"You guys, you guys!"
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"What would the priest..."
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"- Hmm... - Hmm..."
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"Well, I mean, obviously what we need to put a stop to"
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"Did any of the children you've molested come forward?"
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"It couldn't hurt."
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"- Night. - Night, Father."
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"Great queen spider, we wish to change one of the Vatican rules."
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"Hail, queen spider."
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"So now I can dump them into this little pool"
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"I took Kyle's 20 dollars down to the bank again,"
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"Uh... goodbye, everyone."
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"possibly want to put in our butts?"
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"is all the sexual misconduct"
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"We don't know, that's what we're trying to figure out."
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"I mean, right?"
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"What do you ask of me?"
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"Queen spider?"
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"Shhh-shhh, here he comes!"
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"So?"
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"and I got it changed into quarters!"
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"that is allowed to take place in our churches."
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"Oh, great queen spider, we seek your guidance."
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"Not just tell the children not to tell anybody about it."
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"Maybe... No..."
South Park
"Why would he put anything in your butts?"
South Park
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