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Clips from South Park - Red Hot Catholic Love (S06E06)

"# Get some hot Christian action #"
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"Excuse me..."
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"- What are they talking about? - I don't know."
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"In-in our butt?"
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"You know, I think we've just had it with the church."
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"That's a good idea! I'm going to be an atheist too!"
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"What?"
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"It makes perfect sense. Okay, run with me on this:"
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"Alright, now keep with me here, it gets a little complicated..."
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"Well, that's not dumb think about it!"
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"food goes in the butt, comes out the mouth."
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"Down with God!"
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"Fathers, I want to thank you all for coming."
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"No, thank you for finally organizing an all-priest meeting, Father Maxi."
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"I think we all agree something has to be done quickly."
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"God, let a man crap!"
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"Hgh... hgh..."
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"What's going on?"
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"and now he's trying to crap out his mouth."
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"God, give me a minute!"
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"Turn around."
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"Ugh... hgngg!"
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"Hwaaaaagh..."
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"Ado ramus te Christe."
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"In France as well, we are finding it harder and harder"
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"Rumble! Rumble! Aaagh!"
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"- What? - It's just that..."
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"I was thinking of getting this Megaman racer for 19.95"
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"or I could get two Broncos trading packs for 10 apiece."
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"So kids, anything fun happen with your whole Sunday off?"
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"Yeah... it does."
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"Hgh... hgh..."
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"then we might lose everyone to atheism!"
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"Maybe we need to forget about the Gelgameks for a second"
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"I'm just saying that what works on planet Gelgamek"
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"But the holy document of Vatican law cannot be changed!"
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"has hidden away deep in the catacombs of St. Peters below us."
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"Hidden away so that it can never be changed."
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"Well we have to try, our religion is dying!"
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"turned into 20 single dollar bills!"
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"- So? - So?!"
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"So now I can do this..."
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"Oh, feels so good on my skin... mmmm..."
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"Get up, fat boy, I'm gonna kick your ass!"
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"So you crapped out your mouth!"
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"Our top story tonight:"
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"The surgeon general had this to say:"
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"has the benefit of being broken down on its way to the stomach"
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"rather than afterward."
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""That's stupid and immature, Cartman.""
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"It is stupid and immature!"
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"So you got people to crap out their mouths, what do you want?"
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"Not right now, I just want to focus on my turkey right now."
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"Ugnnn..."
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"Hello, my name is Father Maxi from the United States."
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"What do you seek, Father?"
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"and that scroll may be our only hope."
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"Hmm, there's a ladder up here..."
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"A way back up!"
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"Well Sharon and I are having a great time being atheists."
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"I made some quesadillas if anybody wants some!"
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"And if anybody needs to potty,"
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"I mean it could end up being very difficult"
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""Under god" should be taken out of the-- Excuse me."
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"is trying to force our children to believe what they-"
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"Yes, I have returned with the holy document of Vatican law,"
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"The pope wants to say something!"
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"All right, that does it! I have had enough!"
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"and none of it applies to what being a Catholic is all about!"
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"- Huh... What? - You won the bet."
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"and I've just been frustrated because I didn't think of it first."
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"That's it."
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"What was that last bit?"
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"Gang... I think maybe we owe God an apology."
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""Red Hot Catholic Love""
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"Parents, it's that time of year again"
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"when the bishops and priests from around the country"
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"are organizing the young men's Catholic retreat."
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"This year, we're taking the boys on a weekend boat trip,"
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"to discuss Jesus' role as the navigator of our lives."
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"- That sounds pretty fun! - A Catholic boat trip?"
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"# The Catholic boat... #"
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"# Is gonna be heading on out today #"
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"# The Catholic boat..."
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"# Time to throw all of your cares away #"
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"- # That'll take you- # - Aghhhh!"
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"Aghhh!"
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"Look, I just don't think it's the best idea"
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"to let our boys go on a cruise with the priest!"
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"There's no way my son's going."
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"Maybe they want to kill us!"
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"With everything that's been in the news,"
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"I think it's best we keep our kids far away from the priest."
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"Now come on, everybody"
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"just because a few priests in the country have been corrupt"
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"it doesn't that all priests are child molesters."
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"Well sure, that's easy for you to say,"
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"your son's dead."
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"But those of us with alive children"
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"need to be sure that Father Maxi is on the up and up."
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"I've heard about other towns bringing in counselors"
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"that know how to find things out from kids"
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"Tomorrow, we'll find an outside counselor and..."
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"find out the truth."
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"Hi, boys, my name is Mrs. Garache"
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"and I need to ask you a few questions about your priest, okay?"
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"- Okay. - Alright."
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"Okay... would you say that Father Maxi is nice or mean?"
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"- Nice. Cool. - He's fine."
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"Okay, what words would you use describe your church's priest?"
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"Compassionate."
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"Okay... and did Father Maxi, at any time,"
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"ever try to put something in your butt?"
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"You don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed, just--"
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"Did he ever try to put anything in your butt?"
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"Like money, what?"
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"You mean like a goldfish?"
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"No, no... did he ever try to put anything"
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"that belonged to him in your butt?"
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"No."
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