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Clips from South Park - Red Hot Catholic Love (S06E06)

"Kyle, could you help me out?"
South Park
"I need some advice..."
South Park
"I can't decide what to buy with your twenty dollars!"
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"And then I thought--"
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"Oh boy, now that we're atheists,"
South Park
"we don't have to pray for our food!"
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"That's right, everyone just dig in!"
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"Cartman shoved his lunch up his ass and crapped out his mouth."
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"- Stanley! - What, he did!"
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"No, it doesn't work that way, son."
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"Yeah, it does."
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"No, it doesn't."
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"Hwaaaaaa..."
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"Honey! Honey, come quick!"
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"Look, people... I'm just trying to say"
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"that if we don't change the holy document of Vatican law"
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"What exactly do you suggest we change, Father Maxi?"
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"Well for one... no sex with boys."
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"Rumble! Rumble! Agh!"
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"a priest, bishop or cardinal cannot get married."
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"So where are we to get our sex?"
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"Well then perhaps we could change the holy Vatican law"
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"to say that it's okay for a priest or bishop or cardinal"
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"to have sex..."
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"with women."
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"Hawhhh! Rumble! Women!"
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"The Gelgamek vagina is three feet wide"
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"Do you really expect us to have sex with them?!"
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"- and focus on-- - Forget about the Gelgameks!"
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"isn't necessarily going to work for the rest of us here on Earth."
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"You see, that's the problem we're having here."
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"Why not?"
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"Because we don't know where it is."
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"You see, Father, the holy document of Vatican law"
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"But if we locate it, we could make changes to it?"
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"Ha! Good luck, Father!"
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"The document is guarded by water lizards, rattlesnakes and sand traps."
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"The fools who tried before to recover it, met their death!"
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"You guys, you guys, look!"
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"Agh!"
South Park
"I went down to the bank, and I got Kyle's 20 dollar bill"
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"Yesssss... Yesss... Kyle's money..."
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"Mmmmm, Kyle's money..."
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"Go fuck yourself, Cartman!"
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"Geez, Kyle, don't be a sore loser."
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"Good for you!"
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"It's still stupid and immature!"
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"Dude, look!"
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"The age-old question has been answered."
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""If I put food up my ass will I crap out my mouth?""
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"All over the country people are discovering that yes,"
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"in fact, you will!"
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"...and the immediate research shows that the act"
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"is not only amusing, but in fact much healthier"
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"for our bodies than the old way of eating."
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"You see, food entering through the anus"
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"Therefore, I believe that intero-rectogestion"
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"would actually put a stop to high cholesterol"
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"And I base that on absolutely nothing."
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"The surgeon general's response"
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"has made Americans change their eating habits almost instantly."
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"A freaking medal?"
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"The mayor of south park has announced that"
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"for first discovering this healthy way of eating,"
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"young citizen Eric Cartman will be given a freaking medal!"
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"Aaaghhg!"
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"Back now with more on "Martha Stewart Living"."
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"In the past few days we've all heard of the benefits"
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"of intero-rectogestion, and so making foods"
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"that can easily be inserted into the ass is essential."
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"puddings, soups, raisins-"
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"This is a nice raisin pudding right here-"
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"but we can also still eat our favorite foods."
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"What we're going to do today,"
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"is prepare a thanksgiving turkey for intero-recto."
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"Now the key to shoving a turkey up your ass,"
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"is first wrapping it in string,"
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"keeping the pointy wings neatly at the side."
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"Mrs. Stewart, we have some questions."
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"Now we're going to baste the turkey"
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"with lubricating gel rather than with juice,"
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"this will help smooth the insertion later on."
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"We still bake at 400 degrees for twenty minutes a pound..."
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"and when it's done we'll get something like this."
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"So now we're ready to go."
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"Looks delicious, let's try it out!"
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"Uuggghhhn..."
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"Yeah, get it up there, yeah, uggnnnhhh, yeah!"
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"Agh... whew!"
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"And that is how you eat a turkey."
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"We'll be right back with more."
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"Prego!"
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"I'm trying to find the holy document of Vatican law"
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"so that we can make revisions to it."
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"The gospel lies somewhere beyond this door."
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"But many trials await thee inside."
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"Only he whose heart truly belongs to the Lord"
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"shall make it through."
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"I have to try, our religion is in trouble"
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"Then prepare yourself."
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"The time of trials begins... Ado ramus te Christe!"
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"I wish you luck, Father."
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"Use all the strength, agility and faith that you have."
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"Very well. Here we go."
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"Oh my God, a rattlesnake!"
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"I made it!"
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"Praise be to God, he hath shown me the way."
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"The holy document of Vatican law."
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"I for one can't believe I used to live my life"
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"by what a very old and very fictional book used to say!"
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"about people in robes slaughtering goats have to do with today's world?"
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"Atheism has definitely made our lives better."
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"Ooh!"
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"there's a potty basket right here."
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"Oh thanks, Sharon."
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"For Martha and I, we're worried"
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"we might have a hard time raising our son atheist."
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"I mean... Oh, thank you."
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"raising an atheist child in such a Christian society."
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"I feel like everywhere my poor son goes"
South Park
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