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Clips from South Park - Cartman Finds Love (S16E16)

"Nichole, right?"
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"Can I talk to you just for a second right over here?"
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"Who told you that?"
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"Just the grapevine."
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"There's something you should know."
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"The thing is,"
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"me and Kyle are kind of..."
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"He's my man."
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"he acts like we're not a couple, because he's embarrassed, but..."
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"we get home, and he's the best boyfriend I ever had."
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"Don't touch me. It kinda grosses me out."
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"I'm sorry."
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"I'm here."
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"At the end of PE class,"
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"Are you sure?"
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"Love is like taking a dump."
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"you gotta to give it a nice hard slimy push."
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"Coach wants you to take these to the boys' locker room."
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"He does?"
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"Guys, get outside!"
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"It's the Batmobile! The Batmobile, you guys!"
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"I'm so sorry!"
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"Where's everybody? What's going on?"
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"Coach wanted me to... I'm sorry."
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"Guys, hold up!"
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"What kind of stuff does she like? Do you know?"
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"- She likes movies, cats... - She likes basketball."
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"She likes basketball? That's perfect!"
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"We were gonna head over the mall. You wanna go with us?"
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"Can't right now, but maybe another time."
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"- He has a crush on Nichole. - I don't think so."
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"Really?"
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"It's perfect. I could take her to a basketball game."
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"but seems like all the girls are kinda into me lately."
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"We got water, and maybe somebody even left some food laying around."
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"Come on."
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"Look, somebody left a deli platter."
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"And board games."
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"And massage oil."
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"Good."
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"- That was sure an interesting night. - It sure was."
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"Now that is over, I guess it was kinda fun."
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"It kinda was."
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"Maybe... I don't know."
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"Maybe we should get some lunch tomorrow."
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"We did it."
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"You're my ray of sunshine, Cupid-Me."
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"Token was gonna push her, but then he tickled her instead."
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"- You motherfucker! - Jesus Christ!"
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"What the hell are you doing, telling that we're a gay couple?"
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"Heard that through the grapevine?"
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"The new girl likes me, and so you lied to her!"
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"You were standing in their way. They belong together!"
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"- You fat racist piece of garbage. - I'm a racist?"
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"I'm a racist? It's how nature works."
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"- That was us, remember? - Quiet, Cupid-Me."
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"- What? - Nothing."
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"- Who is Cupid-Me? - Nobody."
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"Goddamn it!"
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"Your mother tells me that you already have a boyfriend."
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"His name is Token. He's really nice."
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"That's good, but..."
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"your mother tells me that this boy is..."
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"black."
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"- So? - It's just..."
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"It's a little weird that we move to this whole new place,"
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"and you're immediately drawn to the one other black person."
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"Stop, William."
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"There's nothing wrong with her dating a black person."
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"I'm not saying it's wrong."
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"I'm saying she's gonna have to deal with racists people out there."
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""Look at the two black people together. That figures.""
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"It seems like a strange coincidence, but it really is a coincidence."
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"Try the white meat."
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"Come on!"
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"Jesus Christ, you're giving birth in there?"
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"Sorry."
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"Cupid-Me!"
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"At least, flush the toilet."
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"It's cute. It's little chocolate hearts."
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"They're fudgy charms of sunshine."
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"Almost got you."
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"- Everything OK, sweetie? - Everything's great."
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"- What's up? - Listen."
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"I don't think this is gonna work out."
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"I'm so sorry."
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"I don't believe we're on the same page."
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"I think you're really great."
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"We just..."
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"I think you're really great."
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"I'm sorry."
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"I'm sorry too."
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"It's not fair!"
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"They were so happy!"
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"It's gonna be OK."
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"It's not gonna be OK. Why did they break up?"
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"They were meant for each other."
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"They'll find love somewhere else."
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"No, they won't. Fuck you, you're an asshole!"
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"And you!"
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"I should have never believed in you!"
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"In who?"
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"I never wanna see you again!"
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"and fucking die!"
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"I guess."
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"Is she sort of available?"
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"So, theoretically,"
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"if someone was to step in, it would be OK?"
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"What the fuck?"
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"We'll be back with more of The Jeffersons after this."
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"I work hard, so I need a laxative that works hard too."
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"When I'm constipated,"
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"sometimes, even a hard push isn't enough."
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"Don't give up. Get back in there and get to work."
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"When the going get tough, the tough gets going!"
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"That's right!"
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"Love is the best feeling in the world. I believe you can change everything."
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"My little flicker of twinkle stars."
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"Come on, twinkle stars, we got work to do."
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"Can I speak to Nichole, please? It's very important."
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