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Clips from New Girl - Katie (S02E02)

"- Oh, my God. - I know."
New Girl
"- Can I tell you something? - Oh, not really."
New Girl
"I'm you from the future."
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"- That's a first. - Nick, I traveled from the future..."
New Girl
"...to find you. I'm a time traveler."
New Girl
"Does everybody tip badly in the future, or is it just you?"
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"You don't believe I'm you, do you?"
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"- Absolutely not. - Well, I know you didn't shower this morning."
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"Good guess. It's a Wednesday."
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"I know a girl broke your heart and you gave up on love."
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"I know sometimes you get mad and you don't know why."
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"I know you're a bartender because you like three feet of bar..."
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"...between you and everyone you meet. - Well, I mean..."
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"Chew on that, you clown."
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"Wait. Hey, don't say all that weird stuff and then just leave."
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"You were wrong about the bar!"
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"But everything else was right."
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"- I know we... - I've been..."
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"I've been to 48 Creed shows, so..."
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"- Forty-two. - No way!"
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"- Way. - Are you serious?"
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"- Wow. - That's so unbelieve..."
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"Way to go, Cupid-Match."
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"Yeah. Hey, hold still."
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"You got a little hair..."
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"::: on your nose:"
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"[MOUTHS] Oh, my God."
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"[JESS MOANS]"
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"Let's just say, hypothetically, we live in a world where time travel exists."
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"Okay, so if that is the case..."
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"One, Marie Antoinette, two, Cleopatra..."
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"...three, young Ann-Margret, four, old Ann-Margret..."
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"Would you shut up, you clown. I'm being serious."
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"I'm talking about real time travel here, Schmidty."
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"And I made an astute observation."
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"- I might have met future me. - Who knows about this?"
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"- Nobody. You're the first person I've told. - Whoa."
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"If I find out how you died, want me to tell you?"
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"I already know. It's one of these moles."
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"- See this little SOB right there? - That's the guy?"
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"I've been eyeing him for a while. That one's gonna turn green one day, then:"
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"There you go, Schmidt's dead."
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"I met me in my bar."
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"Ask him when I meet Kanye."
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"- Because I have visions of me... - I'm talking about real time travel."
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"- I could figure out what... SCHMIDT: Kanye, Beyoncé..."
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"- What's up, baby? - Don't call me baby."
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"- Come on, spill. - Seriously, stop it."
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"...I had the best sex of my life last night. He brewed me like a fine chamomile..."
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"Oh, so that was you. I thought it was a couple bums fighting."
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"It wasn't. It was me having sex. I left my body, went up to heaven..."
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"...saw my grandparents, thought it was weird, came down..."
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"...I became a werewolf, scared some teenagers."
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"I came back into my body. Only thing is..."
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"...he thinks my name is Katie..."
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"...and that I'm a dancer, and/or something involving puppets."
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"SAM: Katie? JESS: Hey, Sam."
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"- These are my roommates. - Hey."
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"Hey, uh, Katie, we're running late for dance rehearsal."
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"- We're wondering... We doing leg warmers? - Leg warmers."
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"NICK: Leg warmers. - You guys are dancers too?"
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"- Mostly Katie, but yeah. JESS: Yes, yes, yes."
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"- Do we not look like dancers? - I mean..."
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"- This one's a leaper. - I knew it was gonna go there."
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"- You are. - He is. They call him, uh, Cricket."
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"- Cricket the Leaper. - Let me see."
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"- Show him how you leap. - I'd love to see."
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"Don't get self-conscious, you've got this. You've got it."
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"You're getting a show, he normally doesn't do this for a private audience."
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"- Do the travel stuff. SCHMIDT: Yeah!"
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"Beautiful."
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"SAM: Is he okay? I'm hearing some popping."
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"No, look at that vert, that's breathtaking."
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"- Faster. SCHMIDT: Grasshopper, get in there."
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"...I'm gonna go do a couple of brunches, maybe take a nap..."
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"...rehydrate. Come here. Mm!"
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"This is so normal, this isn't upsetting at all."
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"JESS: Yah! Ha-ha-ha!"
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"SAM: Oh, man."
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"I'm gonna text you later."
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"- Yup. - And if you find my underwear, just keep it."
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"I gotta go."
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"JESS: Ha, ha. Yes. SCHMIDT: Wow, Katie's an animal."
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"- Katie's the best. - Nice."
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"I love being Katie!"
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"Katie knows how the sausage gets made."
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"Ew!"
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"Katie has a job, y'all."
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"I think I should just stay Katie."
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"Maybe you should watch a cautionary tale that I like to call The Nutty Professor."
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"What's Katie gonna do, Nick?"
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"- She's got some pretty dark needs. - Well, I hope you don't like him..."
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"...because you're not coming back from "Just kidding, my name is actually Jess.""
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"[CELL PHONE BEEPING]"
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""I got your number from Nick. Wanna hang?" What's this?"
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"I gave your number to the guy at the bar. You asked me to."
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"Oh, my God. I forgot."
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"I've never had two guys into me before."
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"- What's happening? - I'm gonna tell you what's happening."
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"...when, for no reason whatsoever, they are irresistible to the opposite sex."
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"...which I like to refer to as "The Night of the Shoshannas.""
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"For me it's every time I jet-ski."
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"This is not fair, it's gonna take all of my game to sleep with Winston's sister."
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"- What? - And then there's you..."
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"...who has this raw, animal magnetism just dropped in her lap..."
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"...like a sack of taters."
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"- What a waste. - I'm pretty sure it is not a waste."
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"Oh, it's a waste. Jess, you don't have the skill..."
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"...to juggle men. - You wear a cardigan on top of another one."
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"We know you're not the best with doorknobs."
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"NICK: You can barely hold one thing in each hand."
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"You tripped the other day just standing there."
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"It's happening."
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"Okay. But Katie can juggle men."
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"She's out the door before you even know your wallet's gone, son."
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"[CELL PHONE BEEPING]"
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"Ooh. He wants to cook for me."
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"Is there a hot way of saying "I don't feel sexy after I've had a lot of cheese"?"
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"I'd say no."
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"[WINSTON WHISTLES]"
New Girl
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