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Clips from Eastbound & Down - Chapter 1 (S01E01)

"Good morning, students..."
Eastbound & Down
"- You mind if I pony up in here? - Oh, sure, have a seat."
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"You used to bust his head open with a stick. Remember that?"
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"Dustin, I know it is our Christ-given duty to help out family..."
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"- ...staying here? - We?"
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"A man fights and fights and then fights some more."
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"Terrence Cutler, principal."
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"Kenny Powers needs to focus, okay?"
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"And the one thing a champion does not do is fucking quit."
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"Okay. Well..."
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"And I'm very upset with how I'm acting right now!"
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"- That you hurt yourself? - No, I didn't hurt myself."
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"When you finished, hand in your form to me."
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"You can feel the sun going down on it right here."
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"Bottom of the ninth inning, Game 7, bases loaded, two out..."
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"I need to remember that I am better than everybody else."
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"Till I what?"
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"Stars kind of make me, oh, how do I say it?"
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"Fuck you, Clegg, I'm just talking."
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"The nail in the coffin of a career."
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"And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact."
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"I got my major in art, not psychology. You know, I don't know what to tell this kid."
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"Next question."
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"- Oh, my God! Who? - Raping."
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"Just like in life, all of my successes depend on me."
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"Okay. When you were engaged to get married to Dustin..."
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"- It does. It's exhausting. - Yeah."
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"No, babe, rehab."
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"Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies."
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"Slow the fuck down, dude."
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"What the fuck are you doing back here, man?"
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"...out of these retards that lived down the street."
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"Hilarious. This guy was the most ruthless one."
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"We try and teach our children..."
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"It's Cassie's favorite movie."
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"Let's get your paperwork started. Show you where you're working."
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"...till Coach Booth's back is fixed."
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"...because I ain't watching."
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"...if somebody else would have asked you out, like, what would you have said?"
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"Besides, I just need a little TLC."
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"I've been waiting the whole time to have good time. I'm having the shittiest time."
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"- Still free. - They can't take that away."
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"Sleep on it, okay? You don't have to make up your mind right now."
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"You know, I took April's virginity."
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"I know the last few years have been tough. But come on, man."
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"I mean, you just nailed it. You just hit it on the head."
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"Yeah, man, I gotta remember that I'm a winner, man."
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"You've helped me see the light. Now I'm gonna help you."
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"Fuck you, Kenny! You piece of shit!"
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"This is me, Dustin, take a picture."
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"God's taking a dump on my face. The love of my life doesn't want to have sex with me..."
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"...working a real job. Getting out of the house. It exhausts you."
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"Oh, big boss man. Okay."
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"- Get your shit together, Kenny. - I'm kidding."
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"It ain't often we get many stars in here."
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"Is it true you were in jail?"
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"Hey, hit me up with that Texas toast there, bro."
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"My ass is a..."
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"Kiss my ass and suck my dick, everyone."
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"...how long you was planning on, you know..."
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"...I almost lost my mind."
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"You can just get over here. I can just do the blow job here."
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"I'm Kenny Powers, I'll be your new PE teacher..."
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"Shit. You can die from that?"
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"I seen your ass on TV."
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"...but since Coach Booth isn't coming back I was just wondering if maybe..."
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"What's that?"
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"No. Hell, no. He looks like shit."
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"You don't find a lot of ball players with tenure."
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"- Yeah. I'm just kidding. - Kenny. Where?"
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"Mongoloid Mike. Is that what you called him?"
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"Fill out the form completely."
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"Holy shit, I knew that was you."
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"...not to make fun of others who are challenged."
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"Well. When I heard that you were gonna be subbing here..."
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"Look, I know you're a free agent..."
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"...fucking champion."
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"...followed by birth date and social security number."
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"He looks like a big bag full of mashed-up asshole."
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"Kenny Powers!"
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"Write your name in the top right corner..."
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